The Werewolf Effect
by MysterysDestiny
Summary: What would happen if Remus was never a werewolf? Would the Marauders still exist? Would James and Lily end up together? And if they didn’t, would there still be the Boy Who Lived? An AU Marauder story about a bite that changed the wizarding world.
1. Chapter 1: War & Potions

**Chapter 1: War and Potions**

* * * *

"Oi! Wake up, we're going to be late, and if we're late one more time, Slughorn's going to make us scrub all the cauldrons again!" said James, jumping onto his friend's bed.

James Potter was one to talk, as he had been late to class numerous times before, but this was a special day. It was his first day of Intermediate Potions in his last year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He had spent 7 long years in the school, listening to his Professors drone on and on, and he was eager to get out.

Sirius groaned from his bed and rubbed his eyes, yawning.

"I don't see why we have to take stupid potions anyways," he said mid yawn, "I don't need it to work for the Wizarding Wireless Network…"

James Potter looked at the scruffy looking 17 year old and laughed, "What makes you think you can get a job at the WWN? I hear they're pretty picky…"

Sirius rolled out of bed, and grinned widely at his friend.

"Because it's me, Jimmy-boy! Who wouldn't love to hear my voice over the radio all day and every day?" he said, making his way to the bathroom.

James rolled his eyes and snorted. "Yeah, well I've got my sights set on something more realistic," said James slowly, "My dad says he knows a bloke who knows another bloke that works in the Ministry and can maybe get me a job…"

James looked into a mirror as he spoke loud enough for Sirius to hear him from the bathroom.

"It's not too bad," said James, "I might be able to get something with his help… which I'll need considering how I barely scraped one O.W.L. in fifth year…"

James was trying to slick his hair down to keep it from sticking out everywhere, as his current girlfriend, Emily Dunnwick, hated seeing it like that.

"The only problem is, I'll probably do piss-poor on my N.E.W.T.s… stupid wizarding exams…" said James, now moving on to adjust his tie.

Sirius had come out of the bathroom, half dressed and stretching his arms as he walked over to the closet to pull out his Gryffindor uniform.

"Good luck with that, mate," said Sirius chuckling softly, "You'll need top grades to work at the Ministry."

James walked over to Sirius and clapped a hand on his back, "Not when you've got connections, you don't," he said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah, we all can't be Remus Lupin and Lily Evans I suppose," said Sirius, referring to Hogwart's head boy and head girl, as he changed quickly.

"Lily Evans," said James, slight disgust in his voice, "Who'd want to be that uptight brat?"

Sirius grinned as he grabbed his potion book, and headed out the boys' room with James and down to class.

"I don't know, she is kind of hot… in that I-will-wring-your-neck-if-you-don't-listen-to-me-because-I'm-a-prefect-kind-of-a-way," said Sirius playfully to James as they made their way through the Gryffindor common room and towards the dungeon that held their potions class.

James just shook his head, "Yeah… sure…" he said sarcastically, as they walked on, laughing at the thought of either one of them with Lily Evans.

They finally made their way to the dark classroom, and pushed open the door. They were lucky to find out they were just in time to pair up with others in the classroom, and looked on at the two empty spots at different tables.

"Hey, over here," said a rather short and stout looking boy with golden colored hair.

Sirius looked at James, as they both made a mad dash for the empty spot. Sirius, with some careful maneuvering and perhaps a few illegal elbow jabs, had won the race and triumphantly sat down on the chair, pumping his fists into the air in victory.

"Ha ha, yes! I win," said Sirius, looking at an amused Peter he was sitting next to.

"Good to know I'm so… err… loved?" said Peter raising an eyebrow at his two friends.

"Well… that… and the fact that I wouldn't pass this class without your help, Pete," said Sirius grinning and a little out of breath, "I just can't believe I beat the Gryffindor seeker here!"

James narrowed his eyes at Sirius and shook his head, "Yeah well, the elbow jabs might explain it, you cheater…"

"Alls fair in war and potions," Sirius said shrugging his shoulders, "Sorry mate."

James scoffed at his friend and found the next empty seat in the back of the room, next to a boy with Slytherin robes and long greasy black hair. James started making his way to the back of the room, as he noticed the bright red haired Lily Evans glance at James and whisper something to her potions partner, a sandy brown haired boy from Ravenclaw. The boy jerked his head and looked at James with a smirk.

"Why bother showing up Potter," he said with a sneer, "Merlin knows your failing miserably."

Lily let out a giggle and kissed the sandy haired boy's cheek, as she looked at James with a half grin plastered on her face. James was about to send a retort back to the Ravenclaw, but their Professor, Horace Slughorn had entered the room and rushed for everyone, meaning James, to find a seat quickly.

James took a seat next to the Slytherin in the back, and slammed his book angrily onto the counter, mumbling curses under his breath.

"Easy Potter, letting him get to you would be what that prat wants," said the Slytherin, also sneering at the Ravenclaw with distaste.

James looked the Slytherin, Severus Snape, and raised his eyebrows, "Sticking up for me, are you Sev?"

Snape, caught off guard by James' retort, retaliated by sending the sneer in James' direction.

"It's not like I want to pick out curtains, Potter," said Snape, "I just think Lupin's a bigger git than you… if that's possible."

James laughed and opened up his potions book. For once in his life, he actually agreed with Severus Snape. The sandy-haired Ravenclaw Remus Lupin was, in fact, a git. He could remember his first encounter with him as if it were yesterday…

* * *

_James Potter entered the Great Hall in awe. He had always listened to his parents' stories about Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry intently, but never dreamed how magnificent it really was. The light from the floating candles emitted a brilliant warming sensation, but it was nothing compared to the euphoric ambiance created by the bewitched ceiling, mimicking the marvelous night sky outside. James had to adjust his glasses, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming._

_Beside him stood a boy grinning widely with dark hair that looked like it was unhappily constrained to look neat and proper on his head. He was glancing at the four long tables, each adorned with giant banners above them, one green and silver, one yellow and black, another blue and bronze and the last one red and gold. His light grey eyes lingered on the green banner a few minutes longer with a picture of a silvery snake, and his grin quickly disappeared._

_James followed his new friend's gaze and noticing his disappointed look, patted him lightly on the shoulder._

_"Don't worry mate, you don't seem like you'd fit with them, honest," said James trying to make him feel better, "You'll be Gryffindor, for sure!"_

_The boy, Sirius Black, smiled back at James, and together they walked with the rest of the first years to take their seats before being sorted. James stopped full force when he saw the Headmaster of the school standing in the front with half moon spectacles, jovially looking towards the fresh-faced children. He had heard of the great headmaster, Albus Dumbledore before, and to actually see him standing in front of them was another moment that was beyond his comprehension._

_Just then, another boy, handsome faced with sandy brown hair and amber eyes, collided with James, causing both of them to fall, sprawling onto the hard floor._

_"Hey! Watch where you're going!" said James from the ground, his glasses now askew upon his face. He slowly got up with help from Sirius, and fixed his black robes._

_A group of first years giggled and pointed at the two on the floor, while the boy with the sandy hair got up and glared at James._

_"How was I supposed know you had forgotten how to walk properly?" said the boy, annoyed._

_James frowned at the boy, but he just sneered at him and walked away, talking to another group of students as they made their way to their seats._

_"Oi! You alright?" said Sirius, as they sat down at a large table. Once the rows were all filled up with eager and excited first year students, the Headmaster made his way to the podium._

_Albus Dumbledore was making a welcoming speech, while James nodded slightly and carried on whispering to his friend._

_"Yeah, I'm fine…" said James, looking around the other new students. He saw the boy with the sandy hair talking to a few others, consorting and laughing._

_"You know who that is?" Sirius asked James, noticing how the be-speckled boy stared at the sandy haired boy with utter distaste._

_James shrugged and shook his head slightly._

_"No, do you?"_

_Sirius shook his head in response to James, and nodded towards deputy headmistress Minerva McGonagall, who was reading off the new students' names one by one to take their place on the sorting stool._

_"Looks like we'll find out soon enough…" said Sirius eagerly._

_A few names later, the Headmistress called out Sirius' name, and Sirius took a deep breath as he looked at James, James nodding hopefully at the young boy and crossing his fingers for him. The table with the green banner, Slytherin, murmured quietly as an uptight looking fair-haired witch, and her even fairer haired male prefect companion glanced at Sirius, a half smile donned on his face. Sirius saw them out of the corner of his eyes, but ignored them – after all, the witch was one of his cousins he absolutely hated._

_He took a seat onto the stool nervously as the hat was placed over his head._

_"Ahh a rebel in the crowd… I see I see…" the Hat said to Sirius, "Well, well. It may seem you possess something differently than those before you with which you share your name… GRYFFINDOR!"_

_Sirius sighed with relief, as audible cries of discernment came from the Slytherin table, mixed with applause from Gryffindor's red-bannered one._

_"Another pureblood wasted…" he heard the fair-haired prefect, Lucius Malfoy, say from the green table, as someone made room for him to sit at his new house, numerous Gryffindor students patting his back in welcome. He turned to notice his cousin Narcissa's face was twisted with in complete disgust._

_Sirius just smirked as he looked over at James who had given him the thumbs up. A few more names later, and the sandy haired boy that James had run into fidgeted in his seat._

_"Lupin, Remus!" yelled McGonagall, and the sandy haired boy grinned and walked over to the stool glancing, completely disregarding a vile look James was giving him from the unsorted lot._

_The Hat barely touched his head when it yelled, "RAVENCLAW!" out with apparent gusto, and the blue-bannered table applauded and cheered. Remus bounced off the chair, happy with his placement, and joined is fellow housemates at the long table._

_James glanced at Sirius and rolled his eyes, while Sirius stifled a snicker._

_Brainy but no bravery… please, who'd want that… thought James._

* * *

James snapped back into real time from his flashback of his first encounter with the boy he loathed more than anything in the school. Trying to get him out of his mind, James glanced at Slughorn, sloppily writing the potion ingredients onto a chalkboard.

"Well, at least you're my partner, maybe I'll have a chance passing potions after all…" said James slowly.

"If you're insinuating I do all the work, and you stand there looking like a dumb athlete, you have another thing coming, Potter," snapped Snape, opening up his book full of scribbled writing all over the sides.

"Oh come on, I'll even up the price if that's what you want…" said James, wiggling his eyebrows, "I bet you've got your eye on something at Hogsmeade… think about what the extra gold can get you…"

Snape let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes once before answering.

"Fine. 10 galleons, 8 sickles," said Snape flatly, getting out a writing quill.

"What?! Have you gone _mad_?! 10 galleons? _No way_… no way!" said James shaking his head defiantly, "Forget it… I'll just do it myself!"

Nearly an hour later and a cauldron full of a thick, lumpy and sickening looking brown liquid later (problematic since the potion he needed to create was supposed to be thin and a light lavender color), James threw up his hands in the air and cursed under his breath.

"Alright. 10 galleons it is," said James, slumping in his chair, clearly defeated.

Snape let out a small grin, "And don't forget the 8 sickles…" he said as he siphoned some of his perfect looking potion into a small flask for James.

James muttered something under his breath and paid Snape in exchange for the flask. He wrote his name on it, and placed it on Slughorn's desk before exiting the potions class in a huff.

* * *

_**A/N**: A long first chapter, I know it! So things are somewhat twisted in this new world. Remus is a Ravenclaw, apparently dating Lily and loathing James. Snape and James are civil to each other, not to mention Peter is feeling a lot more important to the guys. Well, let's see how it turns out!_

*****Edit: For some bizarre reason I was thinking that each house had their own head boy/girl like prefect ... so, Remus is head boy to avoid further confusion! :)*

_Thanks for checking out my first upload to the site! Hopefully I can get some feedback, and please be kind. I'm a first time uploader XD Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer**: I, of course do not own the characters of this story, as they belong to the great J.K. Rowling.  
_


	2. Chapter 2: Seeker's Revenge

**Chapter 2: Seeker's Revenge**

* * * *

"And…THERE!" yelled Peter, as he sat cross legged in front of the Gryffindor common room fireplace with Sirius, completely involved in a rousing game of exploding snap. Peter found a pair of matching cards just before they loudly snapped in a puff of smoke.

James was lying on the couch just behind them, levitating a book above his head with his wand, up and down up and down, just catching it before it hit him in the face.

"You know, Gryffindor will be useless against Ravenclaw with a damaged seeker," said Sirius, raising an eyebrow as he looked at James' attempt at trying to conquer boredom.

James huffed as kept on with his little game, "No worries mate, today will be the first day in a series of days of complete Gryffindor annihilation…"

It had been a few weeks since the start of 7th year, and with quidditch matches finally in session, James was determined to play to the best of his abilities and bring his house the first victory of the year. After all, it had been 3 years since Gryffindor last won the house cup, and he wasn't about to leave Hogwarts without bringing them then a final win.

"So what you're saying is that starting today, Gryffindor will be annihilated?" asked Sirius confused, looking quizzically at James.

James' eyes widened as he lost the concentration and the book he was levitating fell flatly across his face. Rubbing his forehead with a grimace, he sat up and looked at Sirius in the eye.

"No, I meant _we_ will be doing the annihilating… pay attention, Sirius!" said James, all joking replaced with seriousness in his voice.

"But you-" began Peter.

"But nothing. Forget it. Ravenclaw WILL go down," James said, his eyes bugging a little out of his head as he stared down his two friends, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some practicing to do!"

Peter and Sirius exchanged looks with one another and nodded curtly in James' direction as he sat upright and walked fiercely out of the common room.

"Wonder what's got his knickers in a twist," Peter muttered to Sirius as they continued their game.

"It's quidditch, mate," said Sirius, "When have you known James Potter to _not_ be defensive about quidditch?" and with that both Gryffindors chuckled softly.

"So, you up for another round Pete?" asked Sirius, shuffling the wizard cards using both of his hands.

Peter sighed and checked a tall hourglass that hung above the fireplace, and shook his head at his friend.

"Can't mate, Prefect meeting."

* * *

"You're here early," said James, addressing an approaching figure out on the quidditch pitch – a broom in one hand and a rather fidgety snitch in the other.

"Well I thought we might get some practice in before our game today," said the Gryffindor beater, "'sides, when Lupin catches the snitch in tonight's game, I don't want our house to look _that_ stupid with a huge defeat…"

The beater laughed as James punched the beater's arm playfully, "Very funny Abbott." He then looked very seriously at his teammate's face, "He's not going to catch it tonight… I am."

Abbott nodded his head slowly and smiled, "I hope so James."

The boys began practicing a few new moves and rolls to warm up, and James was careful not to exert too much energy in their pre-game session. He wanted to make sure that he was completely ready to defeat Ravenclaw for the first time in 3 years. He wanted to wipe that smug look off Remus Lupin's face when it would be him that caught the snitch, once again crowning him Hogwarts best seeker.

* * *

"Prefect, headboy and quidditch captain, how DO you do it Remus Lupin?" a fifth year boy was sitting down in a chair opposite Remus in an empty section of the library, with a quill and notepad in hand, ready to scribble down Remus' long awaited reply.

Remus shifted in his chair slightly, carefully deciding how to choose his words. He glanced behind the boy to see Lily Evans' emerald green eyes studying him carefully, a playful smile spread across her face.

This was no ordinary sit down; it was an interview with an editor of Hogwarts' very own student run newspaper – a little extra curricular activity that kept most students' mind off the dark changes that were occurring outside of their very school. It was no secret that someone who referred to themselves as "Lord Voldemort" was somewhere planning some very sinister things that would shake the wizarding world tremendously.

So, of course, what most would consider "trivial" things such as quidditch games and weekly pranks were brought more into the spotlight to deter attention away from such troubled times.

And, being one of Hogwarts' most popular students, Remus was asked quite frequently on what holding that title was really like, and most of the time he would come up with a witty comment that made everyone just like him more.

Everyone, that is, except James Potter.

"Well Theo, I don't think it's really that big of a deal. I just enjoy learning new things, and don't take my responsibilities lightly," replied Remus with a smile on his face, "And of course, quidditch keeps it all well balanced. It's a deep passion of mine, really."

Lily cleared her throat behind the interviewer, and Remus, obviously getting the hint from his girlfriend, smiled at the fifth year and replied without hesitation, "And another passion of mine without a doubt, my lovely and smart girlfriend, Lily Evans."

Lily grinned, feeling her cheeks blush slightly as the fifth year jotted down his notes carefully.

Several questions later, Remus and Lily exited the library hand in hand, and walked down to the Hogwarts grounds by the big lake. The autumn air had a slight chill to it, as they sat under a tree watching the leaves fall for awhile, just talking to one another.

"Well, I should probably head out to the quidditch pitch, the game will be starting fairly soon," said Remus standing up and stretching his limbs.

Lily stood up beside Remus, a stoic look on her face. Remus, noting her change in mood, gazed at Lily perplexed.

"What's wrong Lils?" he asked, slightly concerned.

Lily, who seemed to be in a daze, snapped out of it and shook her head lightly as she warmly smiled at Remus, "Oh it's nothing Remus… good luck…"

Remus laughed and embraced Lily tightly; "I know it's hard for you to cheer me on when I'm playing your house…"

Lily snickered as she wrapped her arms around Remus, "Of course, if I had to choose between cheering for you or cheering for Potter…" her voice trailed off, and Remus could tell that her dislike for the Gryffindor seeker may have been just as strong as his…

* * *

_"What's the matter Lupin? Forgotten that the stick you carry in your hand is a wand?" mocked James, getting a laugh out of some of his fellow housemates, "And here I thought Ravenclaws were supposed to be smart!"_

_Remus was in his third year, standing in the front of his defense against the dark arts classroom, his wand held tightly in hand, and having a loss of words as the boggart before him had transformed into a large wolf-like creature, with large menacing fangs and sharp claws, growling angrily at him._

_"Enough Mr. Potter," said their professor, who stood beside Remus as the creature lurked further towards Remus. After a few more moments of staring blankly at the creature with wide eyes, fear perpetuating through his body, the teacher had pointed his wand at the boggart and performed the spell to get him back into a locked wardrobe. He sighed heavily and dismissed Remus to his seat before writing out the day's homework on the chalkboard behind him._

_"Don't worry Remus, if the werewolf were real you'd probably already be eaten," said James chuckling, "Less time to stand there wetting yourself!"_

_The class roared with laughter as Remus shrank in his seat, clearly embarrassed at his failure to properly defeat a boggart._

_"God Potter, you're so obnoxious," sneered Lily Evans, who was sitting next to another Gryffindor girl, eyeing James and rolling his eyes, "Arrogant prat."_

_James looked at Lily and then back to Remus who looked less than enthused at Lily's defense of him, and laughed even harder, "Ha, getting your girlfriend to fight your battles?"_

_Remus angrily turned around in his seat and glared at James, "Watch it Potter…" threatened Remus, his wand pointed right between James' eyes. James, acting almost instantly, drew his wand and pointed it just as fiercely at Remus._

_"Both of you, detention Saturday, and 10 points from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw each," said the Professor, now averting his attention to the two boys, both looking like they were ready to hex each other into oblivion, "Now to the rest of you, you may leave after you copied the homework."_

_James and Remus exchanged heated looks of hatred, and withdrew their wands. James exited followed by a gathering of his friends, while Remus put his books away, muttering incoherently under his breath._

_"Well, was it worth it?" asked Lily walking up to him and raising her eyebrows at Remus. Remus looked at her and shook his head, "Potter and I are rivals… it's what we know…"_

_Lily crossed her arms and put her hands at her hips, a stance that she was quite infamous for._

_"How incredibly mature of the both of you, of course I'm not surprised, both of your egos the size of Neptune…" said Lily sarcastically, "Why not just let this go?"_

_Remus smiled at Lily and offered a small wink as he slung a bag behind him, "Like I said, it's what we know."_

* * *

"Remus? Hello?" Lily was waving a hand in front of his face, as it seemed her boyfriend's eyes were glazed over and his mind off in some distant place.

"Hmm?" Remus muttered, looking quizzically at Lily.

"You said you were going to go down to the pitch… then you kind of froze here for a minute," said Lily, placing a hand on Remus' forehead, "Are you feeling alright?"

Remus nodded and gave Lily a quick kiss on the cheek, "I'm alright. I'll see you at the game?"

Lily smiled in response as Remus jogged away from her and towards the pitch, a new kind of adrenaline surging through his body.

* * *

_**A/N:** I've decided to italicize the "past" so as not to confuse it with present time, even though the characters' sudden blank expressions may somehow help with the distinctions :) Thanks for the reviews I've gotten so far! And yes, no mistake, James is a 'seeker' and not 'chaser', but the reason for the change is upcoming ;)_


	3. Chapter 3: Quidditch & Cake

**Chapter 3: Quidditch & Cake**

* * * *

Lily was biting her lip nervously as she sat with her fellow Gryffindors outside in the stands, watching James and Remus battle to catch the snitch in the ongoing quidditch match. Of course they all knew she was dating Remus, which made some of them look at her with less than welcoming eyes, but nonetheless, she donned a scarlet and gold knit scarf, and held a small flag bearing a lion, Gryffindor's regal mascot.

"Go James! You can do it!!" yelled Sirius, sitting with his friends just a row ahead of Lily. Lily, seeing as no one was around her considered switching spots in hopes to better enjoy the game with others. She lightly tapped Peter, who was standing next to Sirius, on the shoulder. Peter, who was laughing and cheering as James had spoiled another chance for Remus to catch the snitch with a strategic sloth roll, turned around to face Lily.

"Hi Peter," Lily said, watching her own breath form clouds as she spoke, "Do you mind if I join you down a row?"

Sirius, who had perked up at the sound of Lily's voice, turned around and glanced at Lily before letting a small huff escape his lips.

"Aren't you sitting on the wrong side, Evans?" he said coldly, "Ravenclaws are supposed to be over there…" He pointed across the way to a blue and bronze covered box with cheering students, as Ravenclaw had just scored 50 points.

Lily looked somewhat hurt by Sirius' coldness, but the emotion was filled with anger in seconds, as the hot-tempered Lily Evans furrowed her brow.

"Just because you're mad that Remus is a far better seeker than Potter, doesn't mean you have to take it out on me, Black!" said Lily sharply.

Sirius smirked as Lily gave him exactly what he wanted.

"Well well well, bashing Gryffindor during a quidditch game, what did I tell you mates?" he said looking around at his friends who were murmuring things under their breath, "Lily Evans is quite the Gryffindor traitor!"

Several of the other students, wrapped up in the game, booed and yelled at her to leave the stands, while Peter shook his head at Sirius. Lily, feeling ganged up on and alone, turned around and walked out of the stands, hot tears forming in her eyes.

Peter watched her go, and jabbed Sirius hard in the side with his elbow.

"Ouch! What was that for?" asked Sirius, grabbing his wide and wincing.

Peter looked at him and rolled his eyes, "You didn't have to be such a…such a…"

"Arse?" Sirius finished, giving off his trademark grin, as he patted Peter on the shoulder, "Oh don't worry, I reckon she'll get over it, Pete." And with that he turned his attention on the exciting match in front of him.

Lily ran through the crowds of people in the stands and back towards the castle. Tears had starting streaming down her face, as she wiped them away with a gloved hand. She hated feeling like an outcast, but choosing to date Remus had come with consequences. It would have been alright if Remus had made an effort to get along with James, instead of continuing to play the petty role of fierce competitor, causing Gryffindors to side with their proud seeker. She could remember the day he was chosen…

* * *

_Lily giggled with her friends as she was watched a boy nearly fall off his broom during the Gryffindor quidditch tryouts from the stands. It was her fourth year, and seeing as one of their chasers and star seeker had graduated the year before, the Gryffindor captain was holding tryouts to hopefully find the next greatest players for the team._

_"You're gonna do fine mate, just shake off the nerves," Lily heard a voice say from the pitch below, as Sirius walked with a nervous looking James down to the field._

_Lily sighed as she turned her attention to a boy who was doing fairly well in trying out for chaser, making 4 goals out of a possible 5._

_"What if I'm not fast enough?" said James nervously, his voice slightly cracking, "What if he's right? What if he wins?"_

_Lily couldn't help but overhear their conversation, and her interest was suddenly peaked. She slowly scooted closer to the edge of the stand to be able to listen more closely, without her friends noticing her._

_Sirius let out a deep breath and grabbed his friend's shoulders, looking him square in the eye, "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, try out for seeker? I thought you always wanted to be a chaser, anyways?"_

_James took his arm out and grasped Sirius' shoulder as well, so it looked to Lily like they were about to do some kind of strange couple dance. She held back a snicker as she listened on._

_"Yes, I'm sure Sirius," said James, without a hint of waiver in his voice, "You saw him bragging in charms the other day about him getting seeker, and saying that I wouldn't be good enough, and I'm going to prove him wrong…"_

_Sirius dropped his hands and shrugged, looking at his feet, "I know, I know… it's just… well, I hate to say it mate, but he's a bloody good seeker… and you'd be such a great chaser, I know it…"_

_James wasn't feeling very reassured about his tryout, and considering he was next in line, he was starting to tap his hand nervously at his side. Sirius, noting that now was the time to go into best mate mode, changed his attitude completely._

_"But… you're right, you're going to prove him wrong," said Sirius confidently, "I know you'll be ten times the seeker Lupin is!"_

_James looked at him with doe-like, hopeful eyes, "Yeah?"_

_"Yeah! Now go out there and make us 4th years proud!" said Sirius, giving him a pat on the back, as James' name was called. James smiled gratefully at his friend, as Sirius watched with a little bit of apprehension in his eyes he dare not let James notice._

_Lily, upon hearing this conversation, turned her eyes to the pitch as James mounted his broom and began showing off his flying capabilities. There was no doubt he was one of the best on broom in his year, but as Sirius had said, she had always thought James well suited for chaser. But as the end of the end of tryouts neared, James had proven to be the best out of all applicants, and was awarded with the position of Gryffindor's new seeker._

_As the two boys began cheering and screaming fits of "I knew you could do it!" and "Didn't I tell you I'd make it!" towards one another, Lily smiled to herself, knowing the real reason James wanted to become seeker, and exited the stands with her friends._

* * *

As the castle was nearly deserted, Lily made her way to the library and figured she would study for her transfiguration exam while thinking of an excuse to tell Remus as to why she left the game so early. She walked to the back of the library and saw a familiar face dressed in green Slytherin robes, and was about to say hello until she noticed he was with company. A few other Slytherin students were talking to him about something that looked important, though she couldn't tell what. Recognizing them as Avery and Mulciber, she cringed at what their topic of discussion would be, knowing that she hated those two because of their passion for the dark arts.

Finally, the two left a contemplating Snape sitting alone at his desk, staring down at piece of blank parchment in front of him. Lily hesitated for a moment, before deciding to walk over and say something to him.

"Hi Severus," she said quietly, as Snape quickly jolted his head upwards, his black eyes meeting Lily's green ones.

"Oh… hi Lily," he said, breathing in relief as he looked over to his left to see the two classmates he was talking to had left.

Lily, noticing this strange look on Snape's face, furrowed her brows, "Is this a bad time?"

Snape widened his eyes and shook his head lightly, "No, no… I was just… studying… why aren't you at the quidditch game?"

Lily let out an exasperated noise and she fell into the chair opposite Snape, and put her hands to her forehead, rubbing her temples.

"I just… needed to get out of there," said Lily annoyed, "I hate being called a traitor by my own housemates."

Snape raised an eyebrow as his face twisted into a slight smile. He couldn't help but feel ecstatic that Lily was having problems with Remus, as he had made it a mission in life to completely detest him. "Well, you wouldn't have this problem if you had just been a Slytherin," he said lightly.

Lily looked at him and smiled, "Actually it would, because he'd still be in a different house. Gah! Why do boys have to be so arrogant and competitive? None of this would be a problem if Remus wasn't a Ravenclaw seeker…" She put her elbows on the table, and held her face in her hands.

"Again, another reason I don't bother myself with the sport, there are better things to do than fly around on a broom chasing enchanted balls…" Snape said lazily, the mere thought of quidditch irking him in unpleasant ways.

"I know! Why they take these things so seriously is beyond me," said Lily, sighing, "It's all they care about... quidditch and cake..."

Snape paused for moment before speaking, and closed an open book nearby and pushing it aside. He leaned inward on the table to get a little closer to Lily, before finally speaking up again, "Maybe the problem is Lupin. If it's bothering you so much, maybe you should just chuck him and… find someone else…someone who doesn't play quidditch…"

"He's a good guy, Sev," said Lily slowly, "I know he can be as arrogant as James at times, but he's really sweet and has a good heart…"

Snape sneered unknowingly and was resisting the urge to vomit as Lily talked about Remus, and he was the last person at Hogwarts - or perhaps even on Earth - who would want to hear about how "sweet' and "charming" Remus Lupin was.

"As much as I'd love to hear you dote on about Lupin, I'm afraid I have some work to do now, so…" Snape said matter-of-factly, and reopened the book he had closed earlier in an effort to look busy.

Lily just snickered and rose out of her chair, "Ok Sev, I can take a hint." She turned to walk away, but before she did, she turned to face Snape and smiled.

"Thanks for listening, Severus," she said warmly, as Snape looked at her and nodded once. As she walked away, Snape had to hold the book upright and in front of his face, just so he could hide his elated expression.

* * *

Lily spent the next hour going over some advanced spells in front of the Gryffindor common room, as a crowd of students suddenly poured in, cheering and celebrating. Lily closed her book and stood up in surprise to see her happy housemates.

"We did it!", "Finally a win!", "Potter did it!" were all chants that filled up the common room as students started uncovering their hidden butterbeers and chocolates, passing them around as a party broke loose.

Lily went up to the crowd in awe, "We did it? We actually won against Ravenclaw?"

Sirius, who had heard her first, turned around and engulfed her in a big hug, and twirled her around. "We did it!" he said happily, "See, I told you James could do it! He caught the snitch away from your precious little 'number TWO' seeker boyfriend!"

Lily swatted Sirius' hands and screamed at him to put her down. As soon as he did, she adjusted her clothes and rolled her eyes. He may have forgotten about their little exchange earlier in the stands, but she was still hurt and angry.

"You should have seen it Lily, right when it looked like Remus was going to grab the snitch, James comes out of nowhere and steals it from him – just like THAT! It was quite an upset!" said Peter, grabbing a butterbeer and opening it up.

As the rest of the students began toasting each other and singing victory songs, Lily managed to squeeze herself out of the common room and down the halls of Hogwarts in search of Remus. Students from the other houses began dispersing around the castle, and she had finally found Remus leaning against a goalpost - still out on the pitch in his quidditch uniform. Another one of his teammates was trying to console a visibly upset Remus, and as she noticed Lily approaching, whispered to Remus and started heading back to the castle.

Remus glanced up at Lily, who ran over to him wearing a sad expression, "I'm sorry Remus…"

Remus stood up straight and just looked at her, "Where did you go? I saw you leave during the game."

Lily was slightly confused. She was sure Remus wouldn't have known about her absence in the midst of a game, especially one against Gryffindor, "I'm sorry Remus, I just had to leave, I couldn't-"

"Couldn't stand to see your boyfriend lose? Figures…" he snapped he turned his back to her.

"What? No! I didn't leave because I thought you were going to lose!" said Lily defensively, a hint of anger in her voice, "If you had heard what they said-"

"Whatever… it doesn't matter, I'm going to go change," said Remus, and started walking towards the castle without looking back.

* * *

**_A/N: Hooray_**_! Three chapters up. So as it goes, each chapter tends to follow a different lead character right now, I hope this style is working out for you :) I can promise a lot more mixing up in the future. Again, many thanks for wandering to my page to check my story._


	4. Chapter 4: Planted Seeds

**Chapter 4: Planted Seeds**

* * * *

Severus Snape was in love with Lily.

Of course, to most with a keen eye, this wasn't that big of a secret. Snape had always been left somewhat outside the inner loop of his housemates as they frequently questioned why he would even bother talking to a "filthy mudblood" as they would call her. Almost every time this occurred, Snape would get angry and resist with extreme strength to send some kind of hex spiraling towards his fellow Slytherins. Usually, his resistance paid off, and they would let it go – allowing Snape to have his Slytherin friends and keep Lily in his life.

But, as the times were changing, he noticed many of them becoming more distant, and he had understood all too well Lily speech about not being able to fit in. He had suspected many of his friends to becoming death eaters, a group of Lord Voldemort's loyal followers. Snape had thought about being a death eater… all the power he could possess…power that may impress a certain someone he had been after for as long as he could remember.

And his meeting with Avery and Mulciber had confirmed his suspicions. They were asking him to join, Snape being one of the most brightest in the school – already on his way to becoming a master of potions, an adequate healer and accomplished legilimens. He would 'undoubtedly be a great asset to the Dark Lord' they had said. Of course, Snape needed time to think it over. He knew Lily would disapprove of him joining these dark forces, but he also knew that if he declined he would be an outcast – just like Lily. Except that Lily had Remus… and he was truly alone.

No, he would join them. He just wouldn't tell her yet.

However, Lily was a smart witch - she would figure it out eventually. But perhaps - he had thought - after awhile she would come to accept it.

Snape still sat in the library, apparently the last quiet place left in the castle now that the quidditch match was over and several students felt like broadcasting play-by-play details loudly in the halls. He let a sneer play across his pallid face as he thought about the two idiot seekers and their competition – silly games for silly _children_. He was much to busy for things of that nature.

Then again, he was never too busy to loathe Remus Lupin…

* * *

_"Severus! You'll never believe what just happened!" said Lily, walking up to Snape, who was sitting under his favorite willow tree by the lake, face deeply immersed in a sixth year potions book. He glanced up to see an over enthused Lily, bounding towards him giddy and full of joy, taking great leaps to reach her destination quicker. He face was flushed and she had a large grin plastered across her face – he had never her seen her quite this happy before._

_Snape, taking a quick scan of his surroundings (more importantly, to see if there was a lack of 'green' around), closed his book and watched Lily come closer, "Potter and Lupin have finally managed to kill themselves in a duel?" he asked, noting there may be a little too much eagerness in his voice._

_Lily stopped in front of Snape, catching her breath while plopping down next to him._

_"No silly," said Lily her smile as bright as ever, "Remus just asked me out to Hogsmeade this weekend!"_

_Snape's face fell and he felt his insides twist up unpleasantly. Through clenched teeth he managed an, "Oh?"_

_Lily started shaking her head up and down like a child who had been asked if they would want an ice cream cone. The fact that this moment made Lily that happy also bothered Snape immensely._

_"Yes! He just asked me not too long ago!" she said as she leaned against the tree, and looked up at the sky, "Isn't it just wonderful? I mean, I thought – well I knew, really – I fancied him, but I didn't know if he fancied me as well... we were only just friends you see…"_

_Snape barely listened to Lily go on and on about how much she liked Remus (along with listing various physical traits of him she liked the most), and what exactly had happened the moment he asked her, and what her other friends thought. In fact he had gone as far as thinking to cast a muffliato charm on himself, because the buzzing would be better than hearing Lily talk about Lupin._

_"Don't you think he's just too… full of himself?" Snape cut in amidst Lily's rambling._

_"Well… no, I don't think so…" said Lily slowly, biting her lower lip, "I see where you might think so, but I've gotten to know him over the years, Sev. It's all just that silly rivalry he's got going on with Potter. He's really not that bad. He's actually pretty funny and charming and-"_

_"Alright. I get it," said Snape, putting his book into a bag and standing up quickly, "Look, I need to head inside… I forgot my … parchment… and I need to finish our potions essay…" Snape started mumbling his words._

_Lily looked up at Snape puzzled at his hasty departure, "Oh… ok Sev. I'll talk to you later than…"_

_Snape wheeled around to face the castle and started walking, pounding each of his feet onto the earth and upset that a louder noise couldn't be made from them._

Stupid Lupin and stupid Hogsmeade_…he thought in his head as he reached the castle hallways, _Why on EARTH would she think I'd be interested in hearing about that, anyways?

* * *

The memory had hit him like a ton of bludgers to the face, as he remembered where most of his hatred for Lupin stemmed from. He shook off the memory and went back to looking up books on ancient magic, his goals to find new spells and get his mind of Lily Evans.

And, who better to help him keep his mind off Lily Evans than…

"Stupid competitive… conceited… thinks the world revolves around _him_…"

He could detect that high-pitched voice from a mile away. He groaned slightly as his attempts to block Lily from his mind were once again futile.

Lily stormed in there, visibly upset for the second time that day in the library. She received some questionable stares from other students who were quietly studying, but she ignored them all and once again placed herself in the seat opposite Snape. Snape sighed and looked at Lily with weary eyes.

"Something the matter?" he asked, a subtle hint of sarcasm in his voice. He was somewhat amused, but this fact he kept to himself.

Lily just looked at him before slamming her hands loudly onto the table.

"I've had it Severus! I've just about had it!" said Lily loudly, as people around them began clearing their throats suggestively and some even went as far as to usher a "shhh!" in their direction. Snape looked around, slightly embarrassed and leaned in closer to Lily, "You might to keep it down, lest you forget where we are…"

"If he just listened to me for ONE minute! One minute! Instead of being such a … such a…arghhh!" Lily was fuming and clearly ignoring Snape's warning.

"Don't you have someone you can talk to… maybe in your common room or dormitory?" Snape pleaded with Lily as he suspected the librarian would be over to kick them out at any minute.

Lily let out an exasperated sigh and collapsed her head onto the table.

"No… stupid party for the stupid team," said Lily's muffled voice from the desk.

Snape, against his better judgment, decided to stay in his chair rather than find yet another excuse to leave. Then as the wheels carefully began turning in his head, he had a brilliant idea. Perhaps he may be able to spin this situation to benefit him.

"It seems like you've been quite upset over this relationship Lils," said Snape, a new caring undertone in his voice, "Are you sure you're alright?"

Lily looked up at Snape and blinked a few times before sitting up straight.

"I don't know Severus… you of all people know how much Remus means to me…"

"-But you hardly ever seem happy anymore" Snape cut in, as he feared the conversation may take a path he'd try his best to avoid.

Lily started blankly at an invisible spot that looked like it may have been just beside Snape, and noticing Lily's strange expression, Snape looked next to him to see if she could see something he couldn't.

"But I-" she began, but Snape was determined to cut her off yet again.

"But nothing, Lily!" said Snape firmly, "Have you two argued like this before you were … dating?" He said the last word as if he had tasted some completely disgusting potion.

"Well… no-" she started slowly, the stillness of her eyes giving off the feeling that she was lost in thought.

"No! Exactly…" said Snape, "Maybe this is a sign, Lily. A sign that you and Lupin-"

"Remus…" said Lily lazily, her eyes not moving from this fixed spot. She hated how boys would constantly use last names as a sign of disrespect to talk to one another.

"Remus…" Snape continued, taking another imaginary sip of that awful tasting potion, "A sign that you and _Remus_ may not work out so well after all…"

Bah. Love. He hated talking about 'feelings' and love, and he had put his best 'sensitive' face on and spewed as much about it as he possibly could without getting physically sick.

All he had to do was plant that seed of doubt in her head.

Lily just stared. They sat in silence for a good moment, the sound of shuffling parchment, quills busily scratching and an occasional cough, were the only sounds surrounding them in the library. Snape waited, an eager look in his eyes.

"I…" Lily finally began, he eyes finally locking with Snape, "I think you're right."

* * *

_A/N:__ Thanks for sticking with this, I'll have more to update very soon! :)_


	5. Chapter 5: Perfect Prefect

**Chapter 5: Perfect Prefect**

* * * *

Peter groaned as the sun through the window of his dormitory hit his face. His head was pounding from too much butterbeer from the night before, but it was still no excuse for him to miss class. Grudgingly, he rolled out of bed to see that James, Sirius and another boy, Henry Abbott, were already down in the Great Hall for breakfast.

Peter put on his Gryffindor uniform and walked over to a large dresser with a mirror in the room. He took his shiny prefect badge from atop the dresser and carefully pinned it onto his uniform…

* * *

_Peter was running – no sprinting – as fast as he could through King's Cross railway station pushing a luggage trolley that held his trunk, as he glanced a large clock on the wall that read 10:56 a.m. Cursing under his breath, Peter pushed on forward until he saw the familiar passageway at platform 9¾ , and without hesitation, rammed right through._

_The collision was almost expected, as Peter's trolley crashed into an unsuspecting third year, who had doubled over onto the ground crying out in pain as a result._

_"Sorry!" was all Peter yelled without stopping as he headed straight for the Hogwarts Express, ready to depart at any minute. He couldn't be late. Not today._

_This was no ordinary day; this was his first day being Peter Pettigrew, Gryffindor prefect. As soon as the badge had arrived by owl, Peter had not let it out of his sight the entire summer. He was actually surprised he was chosen – he had almost thought for sure that Frank Longbottom would have gotten it._

_Peter sighed with relief as he boarded the train and stored his trunk away. He strolled down the aisle of the train, looking for his friends when he heard a familiar laugh coming from one, and slid the door open. Sure enough he found the compartment holding several Gryffindor boys, including James and Sirius._

_"Pete! You made it!" exclaimed James, noticing the shorter boy's entrance, "Looks like I owe you 7 sickles, Abbott. I was sure he was going to miss the train!" The rest of the boys in the compartment laughed as Peter turned a shade of pink from embarrassment._

_"Hey guys," he said, hopeful that the subject would soon change. He could see by a pile of food in the middle of the compartment, the boys had wasted no time in sneaking to the front of the train to nick some of the trolley witch's snacks while she wasn't looking._

_"Peter, what are you doing here?" asked Sirius confused, unwrapping a chocolate frog with hungry eyes, "Aren't you supposed to be in one of the front cars?"_

_Peter's eyes went wide as he drew a palm to his forehead, smacking it a little harder than he had wanted._

_"Right! Sorry, well… I'll see you all later," said Peter as one of the boys, a muggle born, had already begun telling a story about a muggle transportation device that flies around in the air called an 'arrow-plain', while the other young wizards listened intently._

_Peter raced to the front of the train, and noticed that these compartments looked quite different from the other ones on the train. Instead of individual nooks, giant comfortable looking leather seats were sectioned off in four different areas of the car, each adorned with a different house banner, Slytherin and Hufflepuff towards the front of the train, and Ravenclaw and Gryffindor towards the back. Six large chairs – two facing the back, two facing the front and two facing the aisle – were setup in each section, and Peter made his way to the large red banner with the lion._

_Amazed at what he was seeing, he didn't notice the light giggling or the leg being stuck out on purpose from the Slytherin section, as his foot had caught it and he began to tumble forward. Just when he thought his face was going to smack the hard ground, he felt himself stop in midair, and a tug on his clothes behind him._

_"Whoa, you alright there, Peter?" asked a boy's voice from behind him. Peter found himself being lifted upright, and turned to face the boy._

_"Oh, yeah," said Peter quietly, the color flushing to his face once more, "Thanks, Remus."_

_Remus smiled at Peter and nodded before he walked past him and to the other Ravenclaw prefects. He looked over to the Gryffindor prefects already sitting down and waved to the other fifth year chosen, Lily Evans. Lily smiled and offered a small wave back, before turning her attention to Peter, and gave him a small wave over and a bright smile._

_Peter sighed softly, and after giving the Slytherins a glare (which he hoped was most effective), walked over to the other prefects and placed himself in the last empty seat._

* * *

Peter made his way to the Great Hall and found his two closest friends sitting down at the table; James was retelling his proud quidditch victory to a few younger students who looked like they were hanging on to his every word while Sirius sat next to him, a spoon in one hand and an open book in the other. Peter, found himself a spot in front of Sirius and looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"Since when do you like reading about…" Peter grabbed the book from Sirius and propped it up higher read its name, "… Magic and Mammals: Understanding the Animagus… what IS this?"

Sirius snatched the book back, throwing an annoyed look at Peter for making him lose his place, "It's a book about animagi… I always thought it was interesting and since we're talking about it transfiguration, I figure I'd study up for McGonagall's exam…"

Peter looked at him warily with a raised eyebrow, "Bollocks."

Sirius did a dramatic fake gasp and covered his mouth, "Do we need to clean your mouth out with soap, prefect Pettigrew?" He grinned and took a roll from the table and nearly shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

"Oh come off it," said Peter, "What is this really about?"

"Whmpf? Ey camph hamfp ga ewontrugh eyyn mmammahmef?" Sirius said, his mouth full as the words that came out sounded like gibberish.

Peter shook his head, and as he thought about it longer, a smile spread across his face, "This is about some girl, innit?"

Sirius rolled his eyes at Peter and mumbled something else that sounded like "git" and "library" before closing his book and standing up. He grabbed another roll and shoved it in his pocket before exiting the Great Hall.

Peter looked at him and chuckled softly, before turning his attention to James, who was now beginning to act out various scenes with his hands while adding different voices to tell his story.

* * *

_A/N__: This may be a little slow going right now, but the next few are going to move this story forward to show what happens to everyone as a result of these changes! And I promise, since he is the title character - More Remus! :)_


	6. Chapter 6: Hand Shakes & Failures

**Chapter 6: Hand Shakes & Failures**

* * * *

Remus entered the Great Hall looking glum. Seeing James reenact the previous day's match didn't help. Seeing Lily ignore him as he passed the Gryffindor table didn't help him either.

Remus took a seat at his table and let out a large sigh before beginning to pound his head on the table lightly, muttering, "Why?" over and over again.

When he started to get a little dizzy he stopped and covered his face with his hands. He was debating whether or not to come down to the Great Hall today, seeing as he wasn't even hungry, but sitting alone in his room was driving him mad.

"Hey, look it's Ravenclaw's seeker!" said a taunting voice from the Gryffindor table. Remus didn't need to lift his head up to see that it was James.

"Go ahead, rub it in Potter," said Remus, before turning to face him from his table. He let out a sly smile, "After all, it only took you, what… three years to _finally_ win?"

James just let out a chuckle, "Say what you want, Remus. You still lost."

Remus' smile faded and he put his head down. A group around James, obviously his loyal story listeners, starting snickering as James looked rather smug. Remus contemplated for a minute before suddenly getting up and rushing over to James. James, almost as a reflex seeing the fast approaching Remus, whipped out his wand and held it firmly by his side, thinking that Remus was going to attack him.

Remus looked at James' drawn out wand and anxious expression before letting out a small laugh. Instead of drawing his wand, like James had expected, Remus held out a hand.

"Good game James," he said, awaiting James' handshake, "Congratulations."

James stood looking confused for a second. This had to be a trick, right? Of course it was. This was Remus Lupin, after all. A Ravenclaw. He was smart…

But there was something in Remus' eyes that looked like sincerity. James hesitated for a minute before finally putting away his wand. He eyed Remus up and down before stretching out his arm and grasping Remus' hand, shaking it firmly.

"Ahh… good game…" he muttered, whilst his onlookers were whispering behind him.

After they shook hands, both boys stood there in a bit of awkward silence. Remus looked like he was going to say something, and glanced over at Lily. She met his gaze briefly, but turned her head quickly back to her friends, talking to them as if nothing had happened. Remus pursed his lips and shook his head, before he left the Great Hall almost as fast as he'd come in. James looked back at his fellow housemates and shrugged, sitting back down to eat more food before his first class.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sirius was creeping into the library, making sure that no one saw him enter. After all, he did have a reputation to maintain – how would it look if Sirius Black were spending his free time in the library?

He saw groups of students studying and reading at tables in the middle of the library, and dodged behind shelves of books not wanting to be 'caught'. He spotted the librarian, Madam Barnes, putting some books away down one aisle. Sirius snuck down the next aisle, and peered through an opening in the bookshelf

"Psst," he whispered softly, "Madam Barnes?"

The librarian, a plump round woman with a kind face, looked somewhat startled, "Who's there?" she said looking around.

Sirius let out a half smile, "Over here Madam Barnes." He waved his hand and caught Madam Barnes' attention.

"Oh dear! Mr. Black! How lovely to see you again!" she said, smiling.

Sirius' eyes widened and looked around to see if anyone had heard.

"Err... Madam Barnes, could you possibly…" Sirius started.

Madam Barnes frowned, but then softened her gaze when she realized why Sirius was looking so worried, "Oh, it's alright Mr. Black, I'll keep my voice down."

She let out a small laugh, "After all, we _are_ in a library."

Sirius smiled. He had never really talked to Madam Barnes much before, despite his 7 years at Hogwarts. He had grown quite fond of her, like a kind old grandmother who would spoil you with sweets every time you'd visit her.

"So, how did you find the book you checked out?" she asked Sirius, still shelving away books by hand.

"It was great Madam Barnes," said Sirius, a little bit of excitement in his voice, "Do you think you can recommend another one like it?"

"Of course… animagus was it?" she asked, scratching her head, "Follow me."

Sirius nodded and obeyed as Madam Barnes led the way to a section of the library dedicated to transfiguration. She paused for a moment and went down an aisle, scanning through different books. Using her wand, she would flick it occasionally at books as they came out from the shelf and formed a neat pile at a nearby table. After about 4 books, Madam Barnes turned to face Sirius and smiled warmly at him.

"There you go dearie," she said, "These are the last books I have on animagi that you haven't already checked out; they come highly recommended and one of them even goes through how to train the mind to become one. Quite fascinating."

Sirius looked at the librarian with grateful eyes as he piled them into a bag, "Thank you, Madam Barnes."

"Not a problem at all Sirius," she said, "Though I must ask, I never knew Minerva to hand out such work on animagi… you're probably one of the first students to actually take a look to check out _all_ of these particular transfiguration books…especially over the span of almost two years!"

Sirius swallowed slightly, "Umm, yes… well, I hoped that I could try and raise my final grade by writing an intensive paper about them, and I thought if I spent two years researching it, Professor McGonagall would really appreciate my work…"

He looked down at his feet. He hated lying to someone as sweet as Madam Barnes, but he couldn't tell her the real reason why he was checking out these books…

* * *

"_Now, the process to become an Animagus can be rather difficult," said Professor McGonagall to her class of sixth year students, "It takes great skill to accomplish this successfully. It is why there are hardly any registered animagi. We glazed over this subject earlier, and we'll cover a little more now and in your final year here…"_

_Sirius was sitting, bored out of his mind as usual, next to James, who appeared to be asleep, as he could here him beginning to snore. Sirius snickered to himself before jabbing him in the side, causing James to jerk awake._

"_But mummy, I'm your little bun bun!" he exclaimed loudly, before realizing where he was. The class roared in laughter as James looked sheepishly at a rather annoyed McGonagall._

"_That is quite enough!" she said in a raised voice, as the laughter died down to a few silent giggles and snickers, "And Mr. Potter, since you quite enjoy sleeping during my class, perhaps you'd like to come down here Saturday and clean the desks, seeing as how you've already managed to drool all over yours…"_

"_Yes Professor," said James reluctantly, giving Sirius a death glare. _

_Sirius just grinned and replied to James' glance, "Careful James, we wouldn't to inform your mum that her little bun bun has become Hogwarts new cleaning lady!"_

_The quiet class again erupted in laughter, but stopped as soon as McGonagall stared at them to settle down or 'else'._

"_Well Mr. Potter, what a surprise," said McGonagall sighing, "Looks like you'll be having some help from Mr. Black on Saturday."_

_Sirius' face showed disappointment, but when he looked at James, his eyes clearly showed he was pleased with himself. James let out a sly grin and shook his head at his friend – at least now, he wouldn't be bored during detention._

_As class ended, Sirius took his book on transfiguration and shoved it into the bottom of his book bag. He headed down to the common room with a few friends, before spotting a familiar someone out of the corner of his eye. He was a fifth year boy with similar features as Sirius, wearing a Slytherin uniform and black robes, talking to some other older Slytherin boys, and he could easily guess what they were talking about. Sirius waited until the older boys left the younger boy looking somewhat troubled, and Sirius made his way over to him._

"_Are you stupid or what, Regulus?" said Sirius grabbing the younger boy's arm, a harsh, accusatory tone in his voice, "You know what those two are involved in isn't childs play, it's a death sentence."_

_Sirius' younger brother looked into Sirius' grey eyes with his own, and glared._

"_What's it to you, blood traitor?" said Regulus coldly, jerking his arm away, "Mum burnt you off the tapestry when you left, you know. Consider yourself officially disowned."_

_Regulus was about to walk away, but Sirius stepped in front of him._

"_Gee Regulus, thanks for letting me know, the hundreds of howlers from her and dad weren't a clue or anything," said Sirius sarcastically, rolling his eyes, "And they say you're supposed to get wiser with age…"_

"_You're pathetic, you know that?" began Regulus, sneering at someone he had used to revere as a young child, "A disgrace to our name."_

"_Wow Reg, you sound like just like them, looks like the brainwashing was successful," Sirius replied sardonically, "That kind of backwards thinking is exactly why I left."_

_Regulus scoffed at Sirius, "Yeah, I can see that worked out so well for you. Tell me Sirius, exactly how many classes are you failing? And my friends tell me you've just landed yourself another detention. I wonder if your new family is as proud of you as mum and dad are."_

_Regulus started to walk away, but before he did he turned to face Sirius once more, "Face it_ 'big brother'_, you're a __loser_ and_ a __complete failure__… I would worry about myself if I were you. Then again, if _I_ were you, I'd probably jump off the astronomy tower then spend another day as a good-for-nothing, waste of space."_

_Regulus walked away from an angry Sirius. Sirius stood still for a while, with his fists clenched ready to punch a hole in the wall. He started walking at a rapid pace towards the common room and pushed his way through the portrait hole after muttering the password to the fat lady._

"_Hey mate, we were wondering what happened-" James began as he saw Sirius enter the common room, but before he could finish his sentence, Sirius stormed up the stairs to the boys dormitory, and James could hear the door slam from all the way downstairs by the fireplace._

"_Wonder what's eating him?" James said to a group of friends who all shrugged back at him puzzled._

_Sirius threw his back at his bed and began pacing his room and cursing loudly. The room was devoid of his other roommates, lucky for him – or perhaps for them - as he would have most likely ended up in Azkaban for strangling someone in a blind rage._

_Frustrated, Sirius sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. The thing that bothered him the most was that Regulus was somewhat right. He did feel like a failure._

_He was nearing his last years at Hogwarts and he hadn't even tried his hand at anything special. In the beginning, he was a promising young wizard, but after he ran away from home, he began resenting the magic – he barely put any effort in his classes anymore. He imagined his mother, father and Regulus sitting around the dinner table, talking about how he was a good for nothing… laughing at how he was incapable of doing anything great with his life. _

_Sirius flopped backwards on his bed, and let out a small yelp of pain as his head hit something hard. Reaching behind him, he pulled out his transfiguration book in his back. He sighed and was about to throw it across the room in until he suddenly stopped, and sat upright on his bed._

"Now, the process to become an Animagus can be rather difficult..."

_He recalled Professor McGonagall's words in class earlier as he opened up his book, thumbing through the pages._

"It takes great skill to accomplish this successfully…"

_The words he passed off as another boring lesson now hounded him with extreme interest. He felt a rush of excitement flow through his body as he thought of the prospect of becoming an animagi._

_But it wasn't going to be easy. He had to want it more than anything._

"You're a loser and a complete failure…"

_Sirius inhaled deeply as he looked down in his book at the chapter about animagi. _

_Oh yes. He wanted it._

* * *

"Dear?" asked Madam Barnes, an apprehensive look on her face.

"Hmm?" asked Sirius, who had spent a moment too long in a daydream.

"I asked if there was anything else I could get you?" said Madam Barnes with a gentle smile.

"Oh no, thank you Madam Barnes," replied Sirius, as slung his now heavy bag over his shoulder, "Thanks again."

"You're welcome, dear," she said sweetly before heading off to finish her book arranging, "Good luck on your paper." There was an odd glint in her eyes, and for a minute, Sirius thought that maybe the librarian had suspected what his true intentions were. Nonetheless, Sirius nodded to her and began heading to exit.

Just as Sirius went to push the door of the library open to leave, it opened widely and there stood Remus, with a surprised look on his face.

"Black?" he said looking around before meeting Sirius' eyes, "You do realize you were just in the library?"

Sirius rolled his eyes at Remus, "Blimey, and here I thought it was the boys bathroom... you may want to avoid aisle 5 in ancient runes." Sirius said with extreme sarcasm and a wink before heading back to the common room. He could hear Remus mutter, "Charming..." under his breath before entering the library, and smiled to himself.

Sirius had about an hour before his next class, and he intended to use all of that time to finalize the last steps to becoming something he never thought he could be.

To becoming a skilled wizard that could transform into a specific animal at will.

To becoming a success, instead of living like a failure.

* * *

_A/N: __Well... I really don't have one (!) Alright, maybe a little one. Some things to think about - Have James and Remus stopped their competing ways or is something else going on? Are Lily and Remus over? Will Snape still be a death eater, now that Lily is having doubts? And will Sirius successfully be an animagus or is it too late to teach the 'old dog' a new trick? (sorry, that was bad. haha.) Stay tuned for answers and of course, more questions :)_


	7. Chapter 7: Breakups and Breakdowns

**Chapter 7: Breakups and Breakdowns**

* * * *

Remus entered the library, feeling somewhat alone.

Obviously on the outside, Remus didn't seem like the type to be alone. In fact, there was hardly ever a moment in his day when he wasn't surrounded by other students, some younger ones – much like the ones James had – who followed him around in adoration. There were those who were in his year, with a mutual respect for their prefect and star athlete.

And then there were those who would be around him, only out of spite and jealousy, waiting for him to trip up or make a mistake, so they could publicize it in front of the whole school.

One such person was Severus Snape.

However, Snape wasn't particularly interested in antagonizing Remus today, although with the recent quidditch loss it would have been rather easy.

Snape was sitting in the library, often called his second home – busily working away. His thoughts on Avery and Mulciber's proposition had kept interfering with his assignments, as he would find himself constantly wondering if he should in fact join the death eaters. Almost instantly, Lily's face would pop up – what he would tend to call his greatness weakness – and he would shake the thought off. He was torn.

As Remus walked through the aisles, he noticed Snape studying near the back, gloomy area of the library. Remus glanced at Snape in near wonderment, never fully understanding what Snape's obsession with darkness always was.

But then again, sitting alone in the dark didn't seem like such a bad idea to him at the moment.

Somewhat nearby, Remus found another deserted area with a small single desk and chair, and placed himself in it. He sighed deeply as he thought of the past few hours, which turned into the past few days, and then past few years…

* * *

"_Expelliarmus!" shouted Remus confidently as he stood facing Sirius, his fellow classmates looking on with large eyes. He received a smattering of applause as Sirius' wand flew out of his hand and landed about 4 feet behind him._

"_Very good Mr. Lupin," said the DADA teacher proudly, walking to him and giving him a right pat on the back, "Excellent pronunciation and timing is always of the utmost importance…" he looked to a defeated Sirius who stood with a look of embarrassment and shame on his face and offered a smile, "Wouldn't you agree Mr. Black?"_

_Sirius nodded timidly and jumped off the raised platform on which he and Remus stood for their dueling demonstration._

_As class ended, a group of students congratulated Remus, and some even went as far as shaking his hand, which made Remus feel completely elated. He was proud of his performance in defense against dark arts, especially since it was the subject in which he struggled the most. Finally in his sixth year, he felt as if he were getting a proper knack for it._

_He looked over to Sirius, who was being consoled by James and Peter on his loss, and Remus couldn't help but feel smug._

"_Better luck next time Sirius," he called out, while the group surrounding Remus snorted with laughter._

_Sirius just looked at Remus and sneered, but it was James who spoke up in Sirius' defense, "Guess you're lucky it wasn't a boggart, Lupin. Oh wait! I think there's a werewolf behind you! Look out!"_

_James gave Sirius a high five and laughed mockingly at Remus, whose smile had faded. Peter looked on at the two and mentally groaned. Remus just rolled his eyes, "Didn't know you changed your name to Sirius, Potter…" he said, obviously not known for his comebacks._

"_Just sticking up for a friend, Reemsie," said James, "That is what Evans calls you, right? I hear you two are a pair – the odd thing is I don't know who to feel more sorry for!"_

_Sirius chuckled at James' retort and the two just stood there laughing like idiots while Peter shifted uncomfortably, unwilling to become involved._

_Remus, although was smart and witty like any Ravenclaw should be, couldn't think of anything better to say to them, and turned to the crowd that was around him. Some of them slowly shrank away, and one just looked at Remus and shrugged his shoulders before walking away, "Sorry mate, I don't want to be on the bad end of James' hex, see ya around."_

_Remus stood alone._

* * *

Forrest, MacDougal, Boot…

Remus was beginning to list off various Ravenclaws that he considered his friends in his head, but was coming to the same conclusion that he didn't really know any of them.

Well, of course he knew their first and last names, and some even spoke about their annoying little brother or their theories on how the new gamekeeper might be related to giants. But other than that, he didn't really _know_ these people at all. All they ever spoke about was class, or quidditch… or quidditch or class. Come to think about it, he never seemed to have the time to talk to his 'friends' because he was so busy with class and quidditch – trying to be his best.

His memory of the DADA class last year made him think about how even though he had friends in victory, he seemed to always be alone in loss.

* * *

"Ouch!" yelled Lily, as she held her right hand in pain. Blood began dripping from her hand and onto the floor as she looked at a long, deep gash on her right palm. Samantha Chase, one of her dorm mates, look at her with concern, "Are you alright, Lily?"

Lily looked back at Samantha with a pained look in her eyes, "Yes, I'm fine I think, I just cut myself on a glass – I was carrying something in my bag, and it must have broke."

"What broke?" asked Samantha, now confused.

Lily felt her face grow warm as color rushed to her light as porcelain face, "Umm… well… it's kind of… a … a … hair tonic… for volume," Lily managed to sputter out.

"Hair tonic?" Samantha said loudly, causing some nearby students to look at them with interest, "But, aren't there spells for that? I read about one in Beauty Witch Tricks."

"Yes, well where do you think I got the tonic?" said Lily exasperated, "Advertisement in the back of the magazine…"

"Ohhh…" said Samantha slowly while nodding her head.

"Yeah…" said Lily before getting up and grabbing her bag with her non-damaged hand, "I'm going to the lavatory to wash up." With that, Lily picked up and left the Great Hall, and to the girls bathroom, nearly bumping into a peeved looking Emily Dunnwick, who was making her entrance into the hall and right towards James Potter.

* * * *

"James Potter!" said a fast approaching girl making a beeline straight for James.

"Oh great," said James softly with a sullen look, as the crowd around him began to disperse, mostly out of fear.

Emily's long blonde hair whipped around her heart shaped face as she strode up to James, before finally stopping and placing her hands on her hips. Her large brown eyes bore into James' hazel ones as she spoke, "Well? Do you care to explain?"

James looked perplexed and his eyes began skimming around at the emptying Gryffindor table for his friends, but found that all of them – including a fearful Peter – had left the vicinity.

"What are you talking about?" asked James nervously, standing up to face her, his hands shoved in his pockets.

Emily rolled her eyes impatiently and crossed her arms, "I'm talking about why you've been avoiding me. You didn't even say 'hello' to me at the party yesterday! In our own common room!"

"Well I-" began James, but was cut off without surprise.

"And now I find you sitting here, wasting time by regaling your _heroic quidditch tale_ to your housemates instead of finding me and giving me a solid explanation?" said Emily, the mere mention of quidditch further enraging her. Emily was quite the petite girl, so to most people the sight of her turning red hot with anger was amusing. Luckily, they hadn't actually felt the wrath of Emily before, and James would attest to that being quite lucky indeed.

"How did I know I was supposed to give you an explanation when I didn't even know I needed to be explaining anything in the first place?" said James, going into Plan B mode: 'Confuse Emily and Run' (seeing as how Plan A: 'Avoid Emily At All Costs', didn't seem to pan out very well for him).

"Don't play that game with me, Potter!" yelled Emily (ahh, she was a smart one), "I'm in no mood for your childish games!"

"Quidditch is not a game!" said James defensively, "Well, I mean it is… but it's hardly childish! Do you realize the amount of sk-" James was yet again cut off.

"Save it! I don't want to hear about your quidditch anymore!" said Emily, "You aren't even that good!"

James looked as if he were a stag caught in headlights. He even went as far as to dramatically take a step backwards, as if Emily had actually taken a swing at him.

"Don't… don't say things you don't mean," he said quietly.

Emily shook her head and let out a loud 'Urghh!' in frustration, "See, that's your problem, James – you act like quidditch is the only thing in the world! When are you going to grow up and realize how pathetic that is! What are you going to do in a year from now, James? Live off your daddy's inheritance most likely? Or maybe play for the Chudley Cannons? Wait, who are we kidding, even THEY wouldn't take you!"

James felt the anger rising within him, and took a step forward and furrowed his brows, "Just because I'm not Mr. Perfect doesn't give you the right to change me! If you're so frustrated, why don't you just leave?" He yelled the last sentence almost as loudly as she had, and his voice had echoed throughout the Great Hall, as every single person left in there had stopped talking to listen to the conversation.

"Fine!" yelled Emily, "Another useless thorn in my side removed!"

With that Emily turned around and whipped back out of the Great Hall, leaving a flustered James and a crowd of murmuring students. James waited before leaving the Great Hall. He ruffled his hair roughly, each strand on his head doing a victory dance of defiance against the heavy gel that had held it down. James, feeling more angry than upset at his break up with Emily, headed for the boys' dormitory.

* * *

Lily had patched up her hand well enough to stop the bleeding, but her mind seemed to be elsewhere. Remus had made eye contact with her earlier in the Great Hall, but said nothing to her. Yes, she had looked away – but she had thought for sure he would come up to her and apologize for the way he yelled at her after the game yesterday.

Lily needed to find someone to confide to, and she knew just the person. And, fortunate for her, she knew just where to find him.

She walked to the library and swung open the large door, entering quietly. She found the usual population of students inside, looking up books and studying, and started heading towards the back of the library, knowing exactly where to find Snape.

She found him sitting alone at a table, and walked up behind him, gently patting him on the shoulder.

Snape nearly jumped out of his chair from the unexpected contact, and turned to face Lily.

"Sorry!" said Lily apologetically, "I didn't mean to startle you – are you busy?"

The truth was, Snape was always busy. But a bigger truth was that he would always make time for Lily.

"Oh just some work for class," said Snape slowly, a little embarrassed by his reaction, "What's bothering you?"

Lily took a seat at the table, and didn't see the figure a few tables away beginning to stir at her appearance.

Remus had perked up at Lily's voice, and saw her sit down with Snape. Looking mildly puzzled, he pulled his hood over his head and leaned a little closer to them, wishing that someone would invent some kind of expandable hearing device that would let people hear conversations from far away, because all he could hear were slight murmurs. He relied on just watching them now, his gaze never faltering from their direction.

"Everything," said Lily, sighing.

Snape raised an eyebrow and nodded for Lily to continue.

"I've just been thinking about what you said, Sev," said Lily slowly, "Maybe you're right about Remus and I… he's just been distant lately, with quidditch and class. I understand the NEWTS are a big deal to him, as they are to me – but I think there's something else wrong and he won't tell me. Instead he just fights with me."

Snape couldn't help but smile slightly, but quickly regained composure as Lily looked at him with a worried expression.

"So yesterday wasn't the first time, then?" asked Snape, as innocently as he could.

Lily shrugged and looked down at the table.

"I know that I shouldn't worry about such small things in times like these when our world is under such a terrible threat," said Lily, speaking of Voldemort and the growing danger – the reference making Snape fidget in his seat slightly, "But it's _my_ world, and forgive me for sounding so … so …" Lily's voice trailed off.

"Selfish?" asked Snape trying to finish her sentence for her, "You think you're being selfish because you're worried about losing the things that make you happy? Because you feel like you don't deserve to be happy when people around you are suffering? And the one thing that's making you feel like such an 'outsider' may be the one thing that's keeping you from going completely mental?"

Snape cleared his throat slightly as he realized how much he'd just said to Lily. It was clear that Snape wasn't just talking about Lily when he said what he did, but he hoped that she wouldn't notice.

"Well… yes… that's exactly how I feel," said Lily slowly. She was slightly in shock, as she didn't recall a time where Snape ever spoke with what she thought was such passion. She smiled and brought her hands up to the table, and winced slightly as her bandaged hand made contact with the hard surface.

"What happened to you?" Snape asked curiously, noticing the bandage.

Lily brought up her hand and took off part of the bandage to show Snape, "I cut myself this morning."

The wound still bled slightly, and Lily was thinking how she was going to be able to write anything in class, as she didn't think she had time for the nurse to take a look. But she noticed Snape's face light up, almost like a child's at Christmas time, as he examined her hand.

"I could heal it for you," he said, slight excitement in his voice, "I'm fairly well trained on it."

Lily looked at Snape with wonderment and smiled gratefully, "You could? That would be so great, Sev! I would really appreciate it!"

Snape held Lily's hand, and admittedly began feeling a little nervous with the contact, and started to bring his face closer to her hand to mutter a healing spell. Lily could feel his hot breath on her palm and nudged closer to him – her eyes riddled with astonishment.

She definitely didn't see the figure approaching their table, as Snape held her hand firmly.

She did, however, see Snape fly backwards in his chair and onto the ground as the figure leapt at him like a hungry wolf leaps on his prey.

* * *

_A/N:__ Dun dun DUN! My first sort of mini-cliffhanger! gasp! Though, the update will be soon :) Thanks very much to the reviewers and any other readers who remain silent - I'm happy that you've stopped by and decided to check this out. I apologize in advanced if there are some mistakes - I've been working fast to get these up! :) Enjoy!_


	8. Chapter 8: Brains and Brawn

**Chapter 8: Brains and Brawn**

* * * *

James stormed through the common room, getting a few glances as he stomped his way up the stairs to the seventh year boys' dormitory, barreling through the door and into his room.

Sirius, who was lying on his stomach on top of his bed reading through one of his latest library books, looked up, startled at James' loud entrance.

"Try and change me, will you…tell me I'm not good enough… I don't even care," James was grumbling to himself, "Thorn in my side, eh?… yeah well, you were like the sword of Godric Gryffindor in mine!" James had paced the room while ranting, and stopped at the foot of his bed and began rousing through his trunk, and every so often would come across things he'd look at with disgust and toss behind him.

Sirius just observed James' actions for a while, and after he realized that the things James chucked out were things that Emily had either given or made him, Sirius closed his book and sat upright on his bed.

"You get into to it with Emily, then?" he asked, feeling more like he was obligated to ask – rather than actually wanting to know – especially since James was clearly still fuming.

James, still on his knees in front of his trunk, whipped himself around to face Sirius, "She's impossible! It's a wonder how I lasted this long… she's always on my back about what I should be doing, and even tells me how my hair should look -"

"Yeah, I can see that it looks like you stuck your head out the window of the Hogwarts Express, " said Sirius slowly, chuckling to himself.

"AND, she had the blinking nerve to tell me I wasn't that good at quidditch!" said James blatantly ignoring Sirius, and looking slightly crestfallen as he said that.

Sirius' eyes widened as he now realized the seriousness of what had happened. Insulting James' quidditch skills was just a low blow.

"Yeah well what does she know? She's hardly ever at any games," said Sirius in his finest 'best-friend' voice, and paused for a minute before quickly adding, "And you're great at quidditch, everyone knows that!"

James looked up at Sirius from the ground with encouraged eyes, "Really?"

"'Course!" said Sirius, swinging his feet down and sitting at the edge of his bed, "Why'd you all fight now anyways?"

James sighed and walked over to the edge of his bed and sat down as well across from Sirius, "She thinks I was avoiding her-"

"Were you?"

"No! I bloody well wasn't!" said James, but Sirius raised an eyebrow at James suspiciously and James exhaled, running his fingers through his now messy hair, "Alright, alright. I _may_ have found myself not able to be within proper distance of her at times…"

"Why?" asked Sirius confused and a little upset that James hadn't mentioned anything to him earlier, as they usually share everything to one another.

"Because, mate," said James, dropping his hands to his side. He stood up and started to pace again, as Sirius' eyes followed him back and forth, "She's always criticizing me, nagging me about what I should do with my life after Hogwarts… she acts like she's my mum or something…" James' voice trails off, as both boys stood in awkward silence for a bit. James shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the wall, while Sirius shifted around on his bed.

Finally, Sirius spoke up, "Well… maybe she has a point…"

* * *

"_Mr. Potter, please take a seat," said Minerva McGonagall from behind a desk, as James slowly entered her office, beads of sweat running down his face from his nervousness._

_It was his sixth year, and Professor McGonagall was doing her routinely necessary work of sitting down with the students to discuss what career paths the students must take, and what classes are needed. James' nervousness was fueled by the marks he'd received from his O., and he yet again cringed at thinking of them, especially when he thought about the disappointing looks on his parents' faces when he showed them his results._

_McGonagall carefully studied a piece of parchment on her desk with a grim look on her face, as James stood in a tiny chair across from her, tapping his foot anxiously. Finally, she sighed and took off her glasses to look at James square in the eye._

"_What exactly are your plans for the future, Mr. Potter?" she asked gently, as James could detect a hint of sadness in her voice._

"_Um...well… I know that I haven't got enough O. to become an Auror or anything," said James slowly._

"_James, I'm afraid at this point, you don't have enough to even become a Hit Wizard," she replied, shaking her head slightly, "A T in divination, two D's in history of magic and astronomy, three P's in herbology, ancient runes and charms, two A grades in defense against the dark arts and transfiguration and finally one E in potions."_

_James winced as she read each of the class results, until she got to the three O. he actually did get. To be honest, he was pleasantly surprised he could muster up an acceptable in potions, he was sure he was going to fail._

"_Is there… anything I can do?" James asked hopefully._

_Professor McGonagall rubbed her temples before glancing at James with concerned eyes, "I'm afraid I'm torn at the moment on whether to admit you into transfiguration or not. 'Acceptable' is not going to work, as the coursework is much harder…" McGonagall's voice trailed off, as it seemed to James that this speech was something she'd given often to her students._

"_I guess I'll be taking DADA and potions…" said James, his voice as soft as a whisper._

"_What's the real issue here, James?" asked McGonagall abruptly, "Because I know if you really pushed yourself, you would have walked away with a handful more O. than you currently have."_

_James just shrugged, "I guess I've been busy with quidditch and things…"_

"_I enjoy quidditch as much as the next witch, Mr. Potter," said McGonagall firmly, "But that's still no excuse to be lazily going through your studies. I've always thought of you as one of my students with the most potential…"_

_James fidgeted in his seat uncomfortably. He just wanted to get out of McGonagall's office and somewhere where he didn't have to think about his miserable O.W.L. results anymore. He'd gotten enough lectures from his parents; he just wanted to be left alone._

"_I don't know," James mumbled, "I'm sorry."_

_McGonagall sighed and sat back in her chair._

"_Merlin help me, I can't believe I'm doing this," said McGonagall slowly, "But seeing as you were a mere point away from a E in transfiguration, I'm going to allow you to take the class only – and this is a severe only Mr. Potter – if I have you do some extensive extra work and your word that you will try your best."_

_James nodded at McGonagall, and his mind drifted elsewhere. He was always so busy plotting pranks and competing with his rivals, that he didn't seem to spend a lot of time studying like he should have. When he thought about his friends and what they all did together in their spare time, he couldn't honestly remember a time when any of them said "Hey, let's get an early start on our paper for ancient runes" or "Let's head to the library and work on our potions homework"._

_James realized that if maybe he had friends who were a little bit more concerned with their grades, perhaps he would be more concerned as well._

* * *

James was somewhat surprised by Sirius' response, and looked at him as if he were some kind of strange being, "Come again?"

"Look, all I'm saying is that we haven't really done anything that amazing in our time here," said Sirius defensively, "I mean James, all we've ever done was prank people and get detention – don't get me wrong, they were some of the best times I've had – but we haven't even tried dabbling in any intermediate magic…"

"Where is all this coming from?" asked James, a little bit perturbed at Sirius' willingness to agree with a girl that just told James off.

Sirius grabbed the transfiguration book he was looking at showed it to James, as if that were the answer to all their problems, "You know I've been reading up on this animagus stuff… I really think I'm ready, and you should try it with me…"

James glanced at the book before shoving it away, "You're only doing this because you got ticked off at your loser brother… what next Sirius, you gonna start showing me pamphlets on 'how to become a death eater in a fortnight'?" He glared at Sirius, who was now starting to feel just as annoyed as James.

"Christ James, it was just a suggestion," said Sirius coldly, throwing the book back onto his bed, "How thick can you get?"

James grabbed his bag that held his books for his next class, and slung it over his shoulder, "Well according to you and Emily, pretty damn thick it seems."

With that, James stormed out of the room while Sirius rolled his eyes and slammed the door behind him. James, angrier leaving his room than going in, made his way to his charms class – not caring in the slightest that he was going to be early.

* * *

Lily jumped up from her seat and covered her mouth in shock with her hands, as she finally recognized the stranger that tackled Snape was none other than her boyfriend, Remus.

"You keep your hands off her!" she could hear him yell as he cowered over Snape, holding onto the front of his robes tightly. Snape, flabbergasted by the sudden blur of Remus that attacked him, grabbed onto Remus' wrists and tried to push him off.

"Remus! Get off him!" said Lily finally trying to take control of the situation. Other students who were in the library started forming a circle around the trio, as they realized a fight was happening. Madam Barnes, upon hearing the commotion from the other end of the library, started making her way towards them, a right look of worry on her face.

"Get off ME!" yelled Snape, and even though he was trying to muster up all his strength, he was no match for Remus. Remus just held onto his robes and glared at Snape, and the students gawking at them began placing bets on whether or not Remus was going to punch him or whip out his wand and hex him.

Lily ran around the table to where Remus was standing over Snape, his knuckles white from holding onto Snape's robes so hard, while Lily grabbed onto Remus' shoulders and tried pulling him off, "Remus! STOP!"

Remus had fire in his eyes, and his jealousy was an ugly side of him that Lily had never seen before – it was so unlike him to be like this. Finally, Remus let go of Snape's robes, shoving forward as he did so to push Snape to the ground. He turned to Lily with anger and disappointment in his eyes, "So this is why you ignored me in the Great Hall? Because you were running around with… with…" he looked at Snape with utter hatred and disgust in his eyes, "_Snivellus_?"

A few of the other students giggled at the newfound 'nickname' Remus applied to Snape, while Lily looked at Remus with anger. Snape's eyes narrowed as his hand had found his wand.

"Sectumsempra!" Snape roared from the ground, his wand pointed at Remus' face.

A large gash appeared across Remus' cheek, and he held his face in pain while some of the other students gasped. Lily, stunned from Snape's outburst on Remus, turned her anger at Snape, "What did you do? What kind of spell was that?!"

"I'll tell you what – it's dark magic!" spewed Remus angrily, as blood began dripping from his face and onto his Ravenclaw uniform.

"Keep away from me, or I'll do worse, Lupin," sneered Snape, picking himself up with one hand, while his wand wielding hand remained firmly pointed at Remus.

"Dark magic?" whispered Lily softly to Snape, "You've been practicing dark magic?"

Snape clenched his teeth as he looked from Lily to Remus, as Madam Barnes finally appeared from the crowd of students, followed by Minerva McGonagall.

"Oh dear!" said Madam Barnes worriedly, looking at the wounded Remus and the blood coming from his gash.

"What is the meaning of this?" McGonagall said loudly, looking at the scene in front of her. Her eyes danced from Lily to Remus, and finally landed on Snape as he was still holding his wand at Remus. Her eyes widened in anger, "Put your wand away this instant!"

Snape grunted slightly and did as he was told, but he didn't erase his look of hatred from his eyes, and Remus didn't either.

This was too much for Lily. She couldn't stand it anymore, and grabbed her bag of books – wincing as she did it with her still injured hand – and pushed her way through the crowd of students, exiting the library. She was hurt by their actions, but mostly enraged at Remus' attack and Snape's deception.

She walked down a long corridor, not knowing where to go. She didn't want to go back to the common room or her dormitory, she didn't want to go outside and she had even thought about a broom cupboard, just to yell angry obscenities into the air. She could have headed for class early, but she didn't know if she would be able to control herself in an empty classroom and not break everything in sight.

She turned a blind corner as she walked on fast, and didn't see James coming the opposite way and bumped into him with great force and speed, causing both of them to topple over.

"Blimey, why can people NEVER watch where they're going?!" yelled James angrily, "Am I wearing my bloody invisibility cloak or what?"

"Oh shove off Potter, I'm in no mood for your idiocy right now!" said Lily, her bright red face almost matching the color of her hair, as she climbed up from off the ground and dusted her clothes off.

That was _the_ wrong thing to say.

James picked himself off the ground and whipped his wand out so fast, Lily barely had time to blink as she found herself in direct aim of whatever hex or curse James was going to throw at her.

"I don't usually hex girls, but I've got a bat-bogey hex with your name on it," said James, in a dark serious tone.

Lily stood her ground, and placed her hands on her hips, "You wouldn't dare."

"You want to test me, Evans?" said James mockingly, "Hope you're not afraid of bats."

Lily's face distorted from angry to puzzled as she snorted at James, "You do realize that there are no actual bats in that hex, right?"

James looked around for a second in confusion, and even scratched his head before finally throwing up his hands in defeat, "FINE! I give up! I'm an idiot! I don't even bloody care anymore!" James groaned as put his back against a wall and slid down it into a miserable lump.

Lily let out a small laugh, but then looked at James and almost felt a little sorry for him, amidst the arrogance and absurdity.

"What? James Potter gives up?" said Lily in mock astonishment, "This certainly must be the day hell freezes over."

James just looks up at Lily and rolls his eyes, "Go ahead, have a laugh. Whatever. I don't care." The sound of defeat in his voice ached Lily's brain – she really couldn't remember the last time James ever gave up in an argument.

As much as Lily thought she should just take in this moment to rub it in his face for all the times James had been so cocky before, she couldn't help but feel sympathetic, being a little broken herself. Remus was changing into a person she couldn't recognize, and the one other person, her best friend and confidant, turned out to be involved in something she hated more than anything else in the world.

Before she realized what she was doing, she found herself sliding down the same wall, and sitting next to James, letting out a heavy sigh. James barely lifted his head to acknowledge her, and went back to sulking.

"Life's just peachy, isn't it?" asked Lily sarcastically, staring up at the ornamental ceiling of the corridor.

James didn't reply, but Lily decided to continue anyways, "One minute you're happy, having laughs with your friends and then you find yourself sitting in a deserted hall - a pathetic looking ball talking to the ceiling because your boyfriend is a stranger, your friend is deceptive and the person sitting next to you probably hates you – and that person who remains silent probably wishes he'd actually gone through with the hex, just to shut the other up from talking too much about herself and her stupid little problems when so much worse is happening in the world – but she doesn't care because she just needed to get that out because that's just the bloody type of person she is."

James shot Lily an awed looked – not because of what she said exactly, but just that she was able to ram all of that in without taking a single breath.

"Well… are you going to say something?" asked Lily, throwing her hands up in the air.

James stared at her for a few seconds before finally frowning, "What happened to your hand?"

Lily looked over at her hand, still bandaged, and hadn't noticed that the weight from the bag had caused it to bleed again. She could now feel the pricks of pain around the wound, as she was too distracted by her rage earlier to notice too much.

"Oh, I cut it earlier," said Lily softly, "Snape tried to heal it, but was… err… _interrupted_…"

"He tried to heal you?" asked James with one raised brow. He looked at Lily's cut more closely under the bandage, and not noticing any kind of healing process in motion said sarcastically, "Looks like he did a fantastic job…"

Lily pulled her hand away and just shook her head at James, "I said he tried… he didn't really get to it…" James eyed Lily as she winced in pain slightly before starting to wrap her bandage back up.

"Wait!" said James, and it looked as if a light bulb just flickered on above his head, "I have something that can help…"

James took his bag and stuck his hand deep inside, rummaging around for something, his tongue sticking out of his mouth slightly creating a comical expression on his face and Lily smiled slightly as she noticed this. Finally, James pulled out a small brown jar and unscrewed the lid, holding the contents in front of Lily's face for approval.

"What's that?" said Lily, making a face as she sniffed the licorice smelling pasty concoction in the jar.

"This, Ms. Evans, is the best stuff for cuts and scrapes," said James, "It's like a healing spell in a jar – it works instantly."

Lily looked at James skeptically, "Are you-"

"Don't ask me if I'm sure, because I'm positive," said James quite straightforward, "I should know… you've seen me out on the quidditch pitch…"

Lily nodded slowly, as she reluctantly dug a finger into the jar, sifting some out and applying it onto her cut. She felt a slight tickle on her palm, and sure enough – almost as quickly as she put it on, her cut was healed without even a scar to show for it.

"Wow…" said Lily, holding her hand out in front of her face, "That's brilliant, James! Where on Earth did you get that stuff?"

James grinned and suddenly got all bashful before screwing the lid back on the jar, "Well, err… I kind of… made it…"

Lily looked amazed at James' confession, her jaw even dropped slightly, "You _made _it? Since when were you so brilliant in potions?" Lily thought that her question may have came out wrong, but James just smiled.

"I'm not, really," said James, "At least when it comes to stuff I'm not interested in… but like I said, if you've seen me out on the quidditch pitch, you'd know how _interested_ in this stuff I'd be…"

Lily smiled at James softly, "Well see Potter, seems like you're not an idiot at all. Thank you."

She hugged James, joyful that she wouldn't have to grimace painfully while using her quill in class and quickly pulled away. James, taken aback by the sudden display of emotion went a little pink in the cheeks and readjusted his glasses (even though they hadn't moved at all). He cleared his throat slightly, "You're welcome, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes when James referred to her as "Evans" but just let out a small expression of amusement before standing up and walking into the nearby classroom that was now beginning to fill up with students. James shoved the jar of his 'magic healing paste' back into his bag before standing up as well. Just as he turned around, he saw Sirius approaching him, a surrendering look on his face.

"Look James…" he started, but James put his hand up to stop him.

"It's okay Sirius," said James, "I overreacted. Let's just forget it." He let out a small half smile and looked at Sirius hopefully. Sirius returned the smile – glad that something had changed his sour mood around – and they both walked into the classroom, laughing and joking like always.

* * *

_A/N:__ I'm working on updating at least one chapter a day, hopefully I can make it two ;) But, on another (happy?) note - this is my longest chapter so far! Huzzah! :)_


	9. Chapter 9: Fears, Wants and Needs

**Chapter 9: Fears, Wants and Needs**

* * * *

"Well… what do you two have to say for yourselves?" said Minerva McGonagall, eyeing the two students in her office with what most would consider "The Death Glare." Remus was afraid to look her in the eyes as if she were a basilisk, while Snape just stared at the wall angrily.

"I don't know why I'm here," said Snape finally, "I was merely defending my self against this… this… _animal_."

Snape twitched slightly as Remus shifted in his seat abruptly at Snape's insult, but McGonagall was having none of it. She stood up suddenly and leaned over her desk giving both of them a menacing glare.

"25 points each from Ravenclaw and Slytherin," said McGonagall icily, "And I'll be seeing you both in the library Saturday morning for detention. You'll be helping Madam Barnes organize her books…"

Snape and Remus looked somewhat relieved – this hardly seemed like a punishment to them at all. They both spent a lot of time in the library anyway, so they weren't extremely output by the idea.

"…And you will be there for every Saturday for two months," continued McGonagall.

"Two months?" said Remus wide eyed, "Professor McGonagall, don't you think that this is a little too extreme-"

"I believe attacking students in the library is extreme, Mr. Lupin!" McGonagall replied as her eyes wandered from him to Snape, "Be it by hand, or by wand."

Snape mumbled something under his lips that McGonagall couldn't really make out, and looked up at her from his seat, "Are we free to go now?"

McGonagall waved them off, as both Remus and Snape stood up to leave McGonagall's office. Snape moved quicker and cut in front of Remus, his black robes whipping at Remus as he made his hasty exit.

Remus scoffed at Snape, "This is all your fault, you slimy git."

Snape turned around and stared at Remus, a scorned look etched in his pale face.

"You attack me and you have the nerve to test me again, Lupin?" Snape said through clenched teeth, "Would you like another scar to match the other one?"

Although they had just gotten out of McGonagall's office, Snape was so angry he didn't think about further consequences. He just wanted to hurt Remus. Badly.

"You'll stay away from Lily Evans if you know what's good for you," said Remus sharply, before turning his heel and walking away, leaving a very bitter Snape alone in the hallway.

Snape contemplated hurling a hex at Remus' back as he walked away, but resisted. It was bad enough that he'd gotten in trouble because of him, but when Remus was tried to tell him – no _threaten _him – to stay away from Lily, he was ready to blow his top.

"Snape!" called a voice from behind, and Snape whipped around to see two figures approaching him. It was Avery and Mulciber.

They both looked relatively happy as they walked up to him, two large and intimidating Slytherins.

"We've just got word about your little … _situation_ in the library…" said Avery as Mulciber nodded in agreement, "Yes, we heard you performed quite a hex on Lupin…"

Snape, still angry over his confrontation with Remus, just nodded slightly.

"Well, we just wanted to know if you've thought about what we've asked you before," said Avery slowly, "It would be nice to have you on our side… think of the benefits."

Snape looked at Avery and Mulciber with interested eyes as Mulciber spoke up, "Yeah – problems like Lupin would be squashed like the insect he is…"

Of course Snape was angry, angry enough to strangle Remus himself, but he was a bit hesitant at the death eaters' offer. As a moment of silence passed, Avery shifted a little as he exchanged a knowing look with Mulciber.

"Of course, if you're worried about what your little mud-err-_muggleborn_ girlfriend would think…" said Avery, a mocking tone in his voice. Snape's eyes narrowed as he bared his teeth in a sneer.

"I don't care about her," Snape said coldly, as if Lily was the source of all his problems. He paused for a quick second before nodding slowly to Voldemort's two cronies.

"Alright, I'm in."

* * *

The defense against the dark arts class was moving slower than normal, but James was a little more attentive than previous classes, and his friends were starting to take notice.

"What's with James?" Peter whispered to Sirius from a table he was sharing with another Gryffindor.

"Long story, mate," said Sirius, before they were hushed by the Professor.

Peter frowned and sat back in his seat as he saw Sirius whisper something to James, and then both of them chuckling with one another. He was starting to feel out of the loop, and it irked him.

"Mr. Pettigrew?" said a voice from the front of the classroom. The Professor had called on Peter to answer a question that Peter was clearly not paying attention to.

"Hmm?" he asked, looking around nervously, as he shot look towards Sirius and James.

"I asked you where the Opaleye is from," said the Professor, crossing his arms expectedly and raising his eyebrows at Peter.

"Umm… well…" Peter began, as he looked to his friends for help. Sirius was trying to mouth something to Peter while James was making some strange hand gesture that looked like some kind of bird, "Ahh… Opaleye… Opal Island?"

Sirius smacked face-palmed himself while James threw his hands in air, shaking his head.

"Opal Island?" asked the Professor, as students in the class began laughing, "Anyone else think the Opaleye is from… Opal Island?"

Peter slid down in his seat as his face flushed with embarrassment. Even James and Sirius started joining in on the laughter, and Peter shot them angry glances.

After class was over, Peter walked over to them angrily, "Gee, thanks for the help, mates." He sounded more than a little peeved, which Sirius and James found very amusing.

"I tried Pete," said Sirius, shrugging his shoulders, "I guess you're not good at reading lips."

"Or reading very descriptive hand movements," added James, putting his index finger up in the air.

Peter rolled his eyes and mimicked James' wild movements, "And how was _this_ supposed to help me? The Opaleye comes from fairyland?"

James shook his head, "No, I was trying to say it's a dragon," he started making the hand movements again, "See? Flying? Like a dragon?"

Peter groaned and left the classroom, leaving the other two standing there in bewilderment.

"Blimey, wonder what's up his bum?" asked Sirius as the two started packing up their materials.

"Don't know, and honestly, don't care," said James with a stupid grin on his face.

Sirius raised one eyebrow at him, "Why so cheery?"

James just shook his head slightly, and continued to grin on, "No idea what you're talking about."

Lily, who had her things packed, came up to the two boys and looked at James, feeling somewhat shy, "So, by the by… umm… I guess I never really had a chance to tell you… congratulations on the quidditch win," she finally managed to spit out.

James reached his hand behind his head and played with his hair slightly, "Oh, umm yeah… thanks…" he said, taken aback by Lily's newfound niceness to him.

Sirius stood perplexed, looking back and forth between them as if he were watching an interesting muggle tennis match. There was a moment of silence between them, until Lily heard Samantha calling her from the doorway.

"Oh, well, that's Sam," said Lily slowly, "I'll see you around?" She didn't really mean the last part of her words to James to come out like a question, but now that it had, Lily felt like she needed to stay until he replied.

James smiled slyly as he responded, "Yeah, I'll see you."

Lily returned a small smile before heading out of the door with Samantha. James watched Lily walk away, while Sirius just stared at James dumbfounded.

James, feeling Sirius' eyes bore on him, turned to face him and shrugged, "What?"

"Lily bleeping Evans?" asked Sirius in an accusatory tone, as if James had committed some kind of crime in which the only acceptable punishment would be a life sentence in Azkaban.

"Oh come now, I hardly think bleeping is Lily's middle name," said James with a smile.

"Don't try and shove this off," said Sirius, well, seriously, "You like her?"

"No! No way!" said James defensively raising his arms, "She's just not as bad as we always thought, is all."

"Mmhmm," said Sirius coyly, as the boys left the classroom and headed to the common room to spend their free period, "Well I guess that's best, otherwise Lupin'd probably have it out with you if he found out."

Sirius' words made James stop abruptly, "Wait, what did you say?"

"Just that if Lupin knew you liked Lily, he'd probably be all protective and what not," said Sirius slowly, "You know … with the whole rivalry thing."

James smiled a mischievous smile at Sirius, and in almost an instant Sirius knew what James was thinking.

"You're not…" started Sirius, "Are you thinking… no…not even you-"

"Oh yes," said James, "It would be bloody brilliant!"

"There's no way you could pull off a prank that big," said Sirius, now eyeing his friend with an almost idolizing look in his eyes, "You can't be serious."

James resisted using a bad pun joke, and instead just grinned at Sirius.

"Yes. I'm going to make Lily Evans fall in love with me."

* * *

Peter, still slightly ticked off at his friends, but more so being left in the dark about a lot of things lately, walked off outside by the lake on the Hogwarts grounds. He wanted to avoid the common room, knowing full well that Sirius and James would most likely head there. He sat down against a tree and closed his eyes, banging his head against the tree a few times.

Suddenly Peter heard a few whispering voices nearby, two male students sounding very urgent. He gripped the tree and pushed himself against it, as if it were going to help him be less visible – and remained as quiet as a mouse.

"The Dark Lord will be happy to hear that he's finally joined up," said one voice, a bit of resentment resounding in his voice.

"I don't see why we need Snape, we're fine as is," said the other, also sounding bitter.

"Alls I know is that I'm not going to be the one who questions him," said the first voice again, "When the Dark Lord rises, everyone who stands in his way will be-"

Peter stood wide eyed behind the tree as the boy didn't finish the sentence, but rather made a whooshing sound, and Peter could imagine him pulling his finger across his throat. Peter swallowed deeply.

"You have that right," chuckled the other voice, "Anyone would have to be daft not to join up now!"

"Yeah, well at least they won't have to live with their idiocy long," laughed the other voice, as both of the boys started cackling darkly.

The voices started diminishing, and Peter could tell the boys were walking away. His limbs were frozen as he stood in place without moving for a good five minutes, just breathing heavily against the tree. Finally, when he was able to pull himself away from the lake, he raced inside the castle, and towards his dormitory – never feeling more scared in his 17 years of life.

* * *

As soon as Remus left McGonagall's office, he spent his free time in the Ravenclaw common room staring at the fire in the fireplace, too frustrated to be able to concentrate on studying. He had considered heading out to the pitch to practice some quidditch by himself, but his mind wandered onto his loss a few days prior and struck that idea out of his head almost immediately. After all, there was only one thing that he wanted to do.

He wanted to talk to Lily.

He knew she was still angry with him for blowing up at her after the quidditch game, and the library incident just added more fuel to the flame-haired fire that was Lily Evans. And then when he thought of Snape, grabbing her hand and comforting her – and that adoring smile she had on her face when she looked at him – he thought he was going to vomit.

It's not like he was an overbearing boyfriend, at least, that's what he kept telling himself. Sure, Lily would garner looks from other boys as much as he'd get looks from other girls – and it was all in good fun, he knew that. But there was something about Snape, something sinister that he couldn't quite place, that made him feel threatened.

It was after all Lily. Lily had always been there for him, even when times were most awful…

* * *

_It was near the beginning of sixth year, and Remus sat on the steps outside the entrance of Hogwarts, his knees pulled up to his chest as he curled into a ball, slightly rocking. He clutched a muggle picture in his hands, his eyes red and puffy. It had felt as if his whole body had dried up from the amount of crying he had done, and there were no more tears left in him._

_He didn't want anyone to see him like this. The star quidditch captain, the prefect, the hero… he didn't want them to see him vulnerable and anything less than extraordinary._

_But he wasn't alone. She always knew where to find him._

_"Remus?" asked a soft voice from behind him. Remus turned his head to see Lily standing a few stairs up, looking worried and sad. He could have even sworn her eyes were watering up, as if she felt his pain._

_He turned his head back, and remained silent. He didn't know what to say because he still hurt so much._

_"Remus," Lily began again, as she took a few steps towards him, "I heard about what happened… and I'm so sorry."_

_Remus just nodded his head slightly, and Lily took that as a sign to sit on the step next to him. He showed her the picture he held in his hand, of a woman smiling brightly at a young child she held in her arms, maybe 3 or 4 years of age – with sandy colored hair and amber eyes. It was a picture of Remus and his mother._

_Hot drops of water started to spill from Lily's eyes as she looked at the picture, her heart breaking for her friend. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him so tight, as if trying to squeeze the grief and sadness out of him. Remus wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He needed this closeness right now._

_"How… how did it happen?" she asked, almost afraid to bring it up._

_Remus sighed and looked into her green eyes as he spoke, "It was a muggle car accident. She… she was the only family I had... Dumbledore said that I could stay here in the summer if I needed to… She didn't have her wand with her… she didn't like using magic much."_

_He had thought about what would have happened if she did have her wand with her, if she lived a life like a normal witch, instead of them pretending to live like muggles._

_He thought that if maybe she just embraced magic more, she would still be alive._

_"Oh… Remus…" was all Lily whispered._

_She wanted to tell him that she was sorry, that she knew what he was going through because her father's death had been a tragic accident as well. She wanted to tell him that as his friend, she would always be there for him. If he ever needed someone to listen, she would listen. If he needed someone to just sit beside him so he wouldn't be alone, she would be there. She wanted to tell him all of these things._

_But she didn't need to. He already knew._

_Remus placed his head on her shoulder, and she lovingly placed hers on top of his head, still embracing him closely._

_And they both just sat there in silence, not saying a word._

* * *

Remus felt a sudden pang of sadness run through him as he recalled the night he found out his mother had died. Lily had been there for him, and he knew from then on that his love for her would always run deep, no matter what little arguments they had. It was only a little while after this, Remus asked Lily out to Hogsmeade, and the two officially became a couple. Remus smiled, remembering how nervous and excited he was when she said had yes.

He felt a rush of energy, as he stood up and checked the time – Lily's class was just over. If he hurried, he could catch her and talk to her before his next class started.

Remus bolted out of the common room and started running through the halls, as various other students he passed looked at him in confusion. He didn't care how he looked in front of them anymore. He wanted to talk to Lily.

He _needed_ to talk to Lily.

* * *

_A/N: __Sorry for the wait on updating this, but I had a few breakthrough ideas while writing this that hopefully you will all approve of! So there are a lot of things going on in this chapter, as everyone made an appearance! There's the possible Lily/James, the scheming of James (& Sirius), Snape's joining of the death eaters, Peter's fears and Remus' emotional moment all crammed into one chapter for ... umm... convenience? Haha, well, I hope you all enjoy, and I'll keep you posted. _

_Oh and on to some more news, this is all headed somewhere, as I just wrote the ending (of course, there may be some changes depending on new story ideas, but there is definitely an end in sight!) Thanks all and sorry for the long A/N :)_


	10. Chapter 10: Apprehension & Easy Deals

**Chapter 10: Apprehension & Easy Deals**

* * * *

A crowd of students, mostly Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, came barreling out through a classroom door as Remus ran down the hallway. He looked through the crowd, until he found Lily walking towards him with one of her friends, smiling and happy as if nothing had happened before.

Remus sighed slightly, rethinking his plan about talking to her – she clearly was in a good mood, and he didn't want to be the one who kept spoiling it. But he knew he wouldn't be able to avoid her forever, and finally mustered up enough courage to walk up to the both of them.

"Hey Lily," he said, as the girls' eyes landed on him, "Can we talk?"

Lily's smile dropped and she looked over to Samantha, who nodded briefly at her before setting off down the hall alone. Remus shifted uncomfortably, and stuck his hands in his pockets nervously, "Maybe we can walk down to the lake?"

Lily just nodded in reply, as they walked through the halls in silence, to the outside grounds, and finally to the lake. They both stood there, staring out at the dark water before Lily finally spoke up, "What did you want to say, Remus?" The words had come out a little colder than she had planned, however, she still gave him an intense stare letting him know she was still angry about the fight.

Remus took both of his hands and grabbed Lily's, holding onto hers gently as he spoke, "Look, Lily… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted that way-"

Lily took back her hands, and cut him off, "What's going on, Remus? This isn't like you. You don't go around attacking students for no reason-"

"I know," Remus said, though he wanted to tell her the reason was because of Snape, but he didn't want to make it worse, "I've just been dealing with a lot of things-"

"What kind of things?" asked Lily, furrowing her brows.

Remus sighed and looked to the ground, kicking a patch of air in front of him. Lily softened her gaze and Remus, and placed a hand on his shoulder lightly, "You know you can talk to me…" Remus looked into her understanding eyes and smiled faintly.

"I guess I feel…" Remus hesitated, but Lily nodded for him to continue, "I feel… sort of lonely…"

"Lonely?" asked Lily softly, "I'm not exactly sure what you mean… I mean you're always surrounded by so many people-"

"Yeah, I know," said Remus, thinking about how ridiculous he must sound - there was always someone hanging around him. But losing the quidditch game just put in perspective how no one had really been there for him when he was feeling low – except Lily – but he had just shunned her away out of frustration, for reasons he didn't even let her explain.

"Thank you for always being there for me, Lils," Remus said softly, smiling brightly at Lily.

Lily returned the smile and started to blush, "Of course."

Remus pulled Lily into a hug, and while Lily hugged him back she felt an unfamiliar feeling rising within her. It was like something had changed between them, but she didn't know what.

"Are we okay?" Remus asked as he pulled away from her and looked at her with optimistic eyes.

Lily pulled him back into a hug and whispered, "We're okay."

She didn't want to tell him that the reason she pulled him back into a hug was to avoid eye contact with him, because hers were laced with uncertainty.

* * *

"So, how exactly are you planning to make Evans fall 'in love' with you, when she has super Ravenclaw Remus for a boyfriend?" asked Sirius, lying on his bed with his second transfiguration book. He looked over to James who was sprawled across his bed with a fluttering snitch in his hand.

"Well, I was thinking," said James, sitting up suddenly and looking around carefully before speaking again, "Amortentia?"

Sirius looked skeptically over at James as if he had just gone crazy, "Amortentia? As in love potion?"

"Very good Sirius, you want a knickerbocker or something for guessing correctly?" James said sarcastically, shoving the snitch into a small wooden box and placing it in his trunk.

"Alright, first of all, where are you going to get it?" began Sirius, "Because if you make it yourself, I'd be very worried that you may inadvertently poison Evans…"

"Let's just say that I know someone who may be able to provide me with some," said James slowly, "For a price."

Sirius slammed his book shut and sat upright, "Snape?"

"Don't worry about it," started James waving his hand at Sirius, and got up to stretch his limbs, "I've got it sorted."

"Riiight," said Sirius, eyeing James suspiciously, "So why Lily Evans?"

James paused a moment and shrugged at Sirius, "Well, one – she's dating Lupin – which will call for hilarious results, and two – I think she sort of likes me already, which helps."

"Not that seeing Lupin's face when Lily confesses her love for you won't be priceless or anything," said Sirius, "But you aren't doing this because you like her too and think that this might be a way for her to like you back, are you?"

It was James' turn to look at Sirius like he'd gone crazy, and he scoffed at him, "Please Siri, when have I ever said I fancy Lily Evans?"

* * *

_It was approximately 11:02 a.m. when James felt the Hogwarts Express pull away from the station, heading on its way to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was anxious and excited ever since he'd received the owl telling him he'd gotten accepted to the school, and stared out of a window in amazement like any first year would, waving goodbye to his proud parents on the platform._

_James had found himself a compartment that was already occupied with three other boys his age, and a girl – all having mixed expressions of excitement and nervousness on their faces._

_The girl with dark red hair was looking out the window, as well as one of the other boys who had short brown hair and wore a somewhat goofy expression on his face – both waved and smiled out the window, like James had. The boy that sat next to the girl had black hair that looked greasy, took a quick glance out the window and then started staring at his feet._

_The boy sitting next to James – also with black hair – looked down at his feet too, but it seemed more with annoyance rather than with sadness._

"_I'm James," James introduced himself to the boy, who looked up and half smiled, "James Potter."_

"_Potter? I've heard that name before," said the boy with the short brown hair, "I'm Longbottom. Frank Longbottom." He extended a hand to James, who shook it, while the boy he was originally talking to reached out his hand as well._

"_I'm Sirius," said the boy, "Sirius Black." Sirius said his last name with a little hesitance, but as he uttered his name, the boy with the greasy black hair perked up._

"_Black?" asked the boy, "As in the Black family?" The girl gave the boy a confused look._

"_You've heard of him before, Sev?" she asked, as the boy nodded._

_Sirius let out a small sigh and went back to slumping in his seat, "Yeah, that'd be the one."_

"_Why so glum?" asked James, while Frank also gave him a questioning look._

"_Nothing, just family issues," said Sirius, disdain in his voice._

"_I know what you mean," piped up the girl, "My sister is right jealous that she can't come too. My name's Lily Evans, and this here is Severus Snape."_

_James eyed Lily curiously – there was something about her that intrigued him – and he chuckled slightly as Lily introduced the boy next to her as 'Severus', thinking that his parents must truly hate him to name him something so… _severe_._

"_So what's so bad about your family?" Lily asked Sirius, as she gave him a pointed look._

"_Everything," Sirius muttered, "Not to mention that because of them, I'll probably end up a Slytherin… sort of runs in the family."_

"_That sounds like _good_ news," said Snape, looking cheerful at the name of his future house, "Who wouldn't want to be in Slytherin?"_

_James scoffed at Snape and rolled his eyes, "Me, for one! I'd jump off a bridge if I got sorted into Slytherin. I'm going to be in Gryffindor, like my family."_

_Snape sneered at James, but Lily looked at him even worse, "Well, how do you know – maybe you'll be the black sheep of the family," she said, quite matter-of-factly._

"_If you knew me, you wouldn't say that," James replied arrogantly, "I'm everything a Gryffindor is destined to be – I have all the traits: bravery, chivalry…"_

"_Apparently modesty isn't one of them," said Lily rolling her eyes._

"_Well, you and your friend here seem right fit for Slytherin, so good luck," said James sarcastically._

"_What's your problem?" said Lily defensively – and James could tell she was not someone who took bad attitudes lightly, "You don't have to be such an-"_

"_Chocolates? Sweets? Any of you?" came a voice, knocking on the compartment door and interrupting Lily. Frank lunged to the door and swung it open, looking at all of the items with large eyes. James joined him, greedily eyeing everything on the tea trolley as the witch began uncovering all sorts of goodies._

"_I'll have 8 chocolate frogs, 3 pumpkin pasties, 1 licorice wand… no, make that 2 licorice wands, 5 cauldron cakes and a pumpkin juice!" said James, whipping out a handful of money to pay the witch._

"_Careful now, you eat that all at once and you'll get ill," said the witch, handing James the various treats._

"_Right, right," said James, ignoring the advice and taking the food, spilling in onto the open space between him and Sirius. Frank and Sirius also bought a few items off the trolley, while Snape shook his head no when the witch politely asked him. Lily thought about buying something, but when she saw James stuff an entire cauldron cake in his mouth and swallow it down with a swig of pumpkin juice, she changed her mind feeling utterly repulsed._

"_How can you eat without chewing?" she asked, her face twisted up in disgust._

_James glanced at her and snickered, "Practice. What's it to you?"_

"_It's disgusting," Lily replied, "Didn't your parents teach you any manners?"_

"_Sorry not everyone is uptight as you, Lulu," laughed James, taking a large bite out of a chocolate frog that was trying to escape James' clutches with great effort._

_Lily turned red in anger and stood up and walked to the compartment, "That's Lily, you foul little… Come on, Sev – let's find somewhere better to sit!"_

_Snape nodded as they both walked out, while James yelled back at them, "See ya around, Loony!" before slamming the door shut. Frank and Sirius looked at James with dumbfounded expressions on their faces._

"_What?" he asked, already opening up another chocolate frog._

"_Loony?" asked Sirius raising an eyebrow, "That's the best you came up with?"_

"_Ah, shut it," said James, grinning arrogantly, "She'll be crazy about me in a few years, you'll see."_

_Frank and Sirius busted out in laughter, in which James joined in as the train rode on._

* * *

"Just because you haven't noticed her in 6 years, mate," said Sirius smugly, "Doesn't mean you can't start to like her now, especially when you're all being civil to one another."

"Yeah, well, I don't," said James, making a face, "Lily's too _dull_ for me, she wouldn't know the first thing about having fun – like us."

Sirius sighed and reopened his book, "Whatever you say, Jamsie." Sirius grinned and James cringed at the nickname – Emily had called him 'Jamsie' for the entire length of their relationship, much to his dismay. James mentally checked off another reason as to why his breakup with her was an excellent event.

"So how's the animagus thing coming?" James asked curiously, now getting his potions things ready for their next class, along with slipping some extra gold in his pockets for his little 'purchase' later.

"It's going well, I think I'm ready to try it," said Sirius, a sudden excitement in his voice.

"Are you sure about that?" asked James, a bit of worry in his voice, "I mean, it can be dangerous I hear… and if McGonagall found out, she'll hang you upside down by your toenails during class…"

"I'm ready," said Sirius sternly, "And she won't find out – don't worry. I just wonder what kind of animal I'll be."

"Hmm… I can see you as a…" James put his finger to his chin and concentrated for a little bit, before smiling and blurting out, "Hare."

"Hare?" Sirius asked, looking somewhat offended, "You mean like Peter Cottontail?" Sirius imagined himself hopping around with a little fluffy tail and long ears, and shuddered. No, a hare was not a very manly animal at all.

"No, not a rabbit, a hare," said James, "They're quick, very fast and probably smart and-"

"Probably end up as someone's dinner," said Sirius shaking his head, "No, I'm not going to be a hare."

"Well, you can't choose these things," said James, "Maybe you're inner personality screams 'HARE'."

Sirius threw his book at James, which James skillfully dodged as and fell on his bed laughing, "I can see it now, they'll call you Sirius Blackrabbit! Geddit? Like jackrabbit?"

Sirius rolled his eyes at James and packed up his bag with his potion supplies and book, while James did the same. They walked out the room and to their class, James still snickering as they strode down the halls about Sirius' new nickname.

"Cheer up mate," James chuckled, "You could be a llama. I hear they spit."

Sirius ignored James as he found himself an empty table right in the middle of the class. James looked towards the back, and already saw Snape sitting in his usual spot in the furthest corner – James had always wondered what his obsession with darkness was.

He grinned coyly at Sirius before heading to the back. Snape looked up to see James walking towards him with a big smile on his face, and plopping into the seat next to him.

"Can I help you?" Snape asked coldly, with no actual intention to help James of course.

"What? I can't sit next to my favorite potions partner?" asked James slyly, wiggling his eyebrows.

Snape stared at him with a slight look of scorn, and then around the practically empty room.

"Look Potter, I know you want something," began Snape firmly, "The only way you would _want _to sit next to me is because you need something from me – and the only time _I'd_ want you to sit next to me is never." He looked at James intently, but James just smiled back.

"Alright, alright," said James, "I imagine that you may be slightly better at potions-"

Snape scoffed, interrupting James mid-sentence, "Imagine? Please Potter, you couldn't prepare draught of living death if your life depended on it."

"Yes, well…interesting choice of words," James continued, "Anywho, I need a potion brewed up, and I'm willing to pay for it as always."

Snape looked at James with a little interest in his dark eyes, "What kind of potion?"

James leaned in closer to Snape, much to Snape's dismay, and whispered softly, "Amortentia."

Snape pulled back and glared at James. He wasn't sure whether he should laugh at the ridiculousness of it, or look at him like he belonged in St. Mungo's Mental Ward. James could sense the apprehension on Snape's face and leaned back in his chair. He knew just how to handle this.

"But if course, you can't do it…" said James, his voice trailing off. He waited.

"What? Of course I can do it, don't be daft Potter," said Snape, finally speaking once his abilities were questioned. James tried to hold back a gleeful expression of victory.

"Great! So I need it today, think you can do it during class?" asked James, "I've already figured it out – you make it in my cauldron, while you make today's assignment in yours. I'll pay more than double the rate, since you'd be doing double the work…"

Snape stood thinking about it for a moment. It was true that he could create both potions in one class period – the assignment would take him less than half the time most other students spent. And being in the back of the class had its benefits – Slughorn hardly ever came to the back, always knowing Snape had potions well under control – so they would most likely be able to get away with it.

"Fine," Snape agreed, "But I want 25 galleons for the love potion, as well as 15 for today's."

James, unlike previous times where he'd argue with Snape about his inflating prices, just grinned and pulled out his gold, "Deal."

Snape was somewhat surprised by James' quick agreement, and was even prepared to argue with him. He thought that James must have been really desperate, and a he almost felt a wave of pity to the poor target of James Potter's amortentia.

*

Meanwhile Sirius was already bored, his elbows propped up on the table with his chin in his hands, staring out across the dark dungeon of a classroom. As a few minutes passed, more students started entering the classroom, and when Remus and Lily entered looking cheerful and happily taking a table together, Sirius tried his best to stifle a knowing laugh. He started daydreaming about how ridiculous Lily would look, fawning over James, but his attention drifted elsewhere as he noticed a very squirmy looking Peter had walked in and sat in a chair next to Sirius – sliding down in it nervously as if he were trying to hide from someone.

"Hey Pete," said Sirius suspiciously, "What's wrong?"

"Hmm?" replied Peter, his voice squeaking, "Did I say something's wrong? Nothing's wrong! What makes you think something's wrong? It's nothing!"

Sirius looked at Peter with skepticism but just shrugged it off, "Alright, then."

Peter turned to face Sirius and frowned, "Why aren't you sitting with James?" Peter asked Sirius with a bit of resentment in his voice, but Sirius remained obtuse.

"He's ahh… _working_ on something with Snape," said Sirius, a mischievious smile on his face.

"_The Dark Lord will be happy to hear that he's finally joined up."_

Peter recalled the words he had earlier about Snape outside by the lake, and cringed with uneasiness. He started thinking that maybe James knew about Snape joining the death eaters, and that Sirius and James, both being powerful purebloods in the eyes of Voldemort, were going to join up too. His mind started racing as he started jumped to various conclusions – they were secret death eaters and kept it from him because he was unworthy.

Peter started feeling panicked, and began to breathe heavily – his eyes nervously looking around the room. If they were not going to ask him to join, than this surely meant that he would be killed.

"No!" Peter yelled out, gripping onto the table tightly – his knuckles turning white from the strength he applied – as if he thought he might be blasted away if he let go.

Sirius, who was sitting next to him paying no attention, jumped at Peter's outburst, nearly falling out of his chair.

"Dammit Pete!" yelled Sirius, whipping around to face him, "What the bloody hell is wrong with you? And if you say nothing, I swear I'll engorgio your head so large…"

Peter shook the thoughts he had out of his head – there was no possible way that Sirius and James would join Voldemort. They hated the dark arts and possessed a great hatred of all known death eaters. Peter figured that James didn't know about Snape, and it was just another potions class he was trying to blow off by getting Snape to do the work as always.

But why had Sirius been so secretive about it, why wouldn't he just tell him? They couldn't be death eaters.

Could they?

Peter shrugged at Sirius without saying anything, and Sirius just muttered something under his breath, as the potions professor entered the classroom and started another rousing potions class.

* * *


	11. Chapter 11: Former and Loyal Friends

**Chapter 11: Former and Loyal Friends**

* * * *

Something was different, and Remus could tell.

Potions went as normally as it usually would – that wasn't the problem. There was just something about Lily that Remus thought wasn't the same. She would occasionally smile at him and start up small conversations, but she was different. It was like the usual brightness in her had been turned down a notch, but he thought that it was only reasonable that Lily would still be a tad upset about earlier events.

But then one class turned into a few days, and a few days into a fortnight – and before he knew it, fall had turned into winter – and the coldness outside was nothing compared to the coldness Remus noticed in Lily's behavior towards him, and he wanted to know what exactly what was going on.

However, it was defense against the dark arts class for Lily, and Remus lay on his bed contemplating what he was going to say to her when he finally managed to drag himself down to the class once it was over. Remus even considered holding quidditch practice out of boredom, but seeing as how their next match with Slytherin wasn't for another couple of months, he figured most of his teammates wouldn't be too thrilled about the idea.

So here Remus lay, staring up at the bright blue and bronze canopy – not in the mood to study, not in the mood to talk to anyone else – just in the mood to stare. Stare in silence.

Although, being a school with busy students, staring in silence would only last him so long before he would be interrupted.

"Hey Remus," said a wired looking boy, as he entered the room. There were noticeable bags under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days and he seemed rather fidgety as he dug through his trunk frantically, "Have you seen my potions book? I can't find it anywhere, and there's at least a few chapters in there I haven't memorized yet!"

Remus sighed and sat up on his bed, focusing on the frantic looking young man.

"John, have you taken a break lately?" asked Remus, "You look like you haven't slept in days… come to think of it, I can't remember the last time you were in here to sleep…"

John whipped his head around and looked at Remus with very frigid eyes, "Sleep? Are you mad? We can't sleep! The N.E. are only 5 months away! How do you expect me to get a job in the ministry if I can't pass the N.E.!"

Remus rolled his eyes before flopping back down on his back, "You'll be fine, John."

"Easy for you to say, you're head boy!" yelled John, slamming his trunk closed after finally finding his book, "And I _have_ to get a job at the ministry, it's been my goal since I was young…it all started when I was a little boy…"

Remus groaned slightly as John began telling Remus his life story, causing Remus to turn onto his stomach and cover his head with his pillow, trying to drown out the seventh year's rambling.

* * *

"_I can't believe this traffic!" yelled Remus' mother, honking on the car horn repeatedly, "Honestly, how is that people have forgotten how to drive overnight?"_

_Remus was 15 and was about to enter his fifth year at Hogwarts – that is, if he was going to catch the train. It was true they were a little behind schedule, but Remus' mother was intent on getting Remus at the train station on time; especially it was his first year as Prefect._

_She honked on the horn and yelled a string of verbal obscenities out the window that made Remus blush slightly in the passenger seat._

"_I'm sorry, dear – just these bleeping drivers…" she sighed as traffic came to a dead halt, "I just don't want you to be late, especially on a day like this."_

"_It's alright mum," said Remus, offering her a faint smile, "I'm sure we'll be fine, don't worry."_

_His mother let out a small laugh and looked adoringly at her son, "You're always the calm one in these instances – grown up so fast." Remus shrugged sheepishly at his mother and reached into his pocket to pull out his prefect badge. He held it in his hand, and he could see an exaggerated version of himself reflecting from it._

"_My son! A Prefect!" his mother exclaimed proudly, "And I know you'll make captain this year, Remus! Ravenclaw is so lucky to have you as a seeker!" Remus smiled at his mother, who looked so elated as she talked about him – he was happy he could make her happy._

"_I hope so," said Remus slowly, "I hear McKinley's got a new Cleansweep…"_

_Remus' mother pursed her lips slightly, and stepped slightly on the gas as traffic started up again, "You know if we could afford it-"_

"_No! Mum! That's not what I meant!" said Remus quickly, turning in his seat to face his mother, "I didn't mean that I wanted to get one, I understand money is hard to come by, and you've made enough sacrifices as is, I don't need a new broom, the one I have is perfect."_

_Remus' mother reached out a hand and rubbed Remus' head gently, smoothing down his hair, "I know dear, I just wish I could get you these things sometimes. I just want you to be happy."_

"_I am happy, mum," said Remus softly, "I'm fine without those things, and I'm just happy you're happy." He offered a small smile to his mother, as she gazed at him adoringly._

"_And to think, with how well you're doing in class, you'll be able to secure a job in the ministry without a problem," she said hopefully, "My son will be the best auror the Ministry of Magic has ever seen!"_

"_If I do well on my O.W.L.s…" began Remus, still clutching the prefect badge tightly in his hands._

"_Of course you'll do well," his mother said matter-of-factly, "I know you can, I have faith in you. I always do."_

_His mother smiled back at Remus, and as she cupped his face with her one hand, a hint of sadness now appeared in her eyes, "You look just like your father."_

_Remus' smile turned into a frown as he turned away and looked out the window at the other cars, also stuck in traffic. He started fidgeting uncomfortably and cleared his throat in the silence that filled since his mother had last spoke._

"_Remus, he would be very proud of you," his mother continued, noting Remus' sudden shift in mood, "As am I."_

"_Thanks," Remus mumbled, but wouldn't turn his gaze away from the window. His breath fogged up against the glass, and he drew his finger across it, drawing a snitch._

"_I mean this, Remus, please look at me," his mother said loudly, rubbing the side of his head gently, "I'm the luckiest mother in the world to have a son as brilliant as you. You know this, right?" _

_Remus inhaled slowly and turned his head to meet his mother's gaze._

"_I know mum."_

* * *

* * * *

"You know that you're actually supposed to have her ingest that, right?" asked Sirius lazily, sitting next to James in their defense against the dark arts class.

James, who had been playing with a bottle of liquid that had mother-of-pearl sheen to it underneath the table, nearly dropped the bottle at Sirius' words.

"Quiet!" urged James, looking around the room. He turned to take a glimpse at Lily, who made brief eye contact with him, and quickly looked back at her friend, looking slightly timid at the exchange.

"Relax, it's not like she could hear me," said Sirius rolling his eyes at his friend, "But it's been weeks since you got that stuff from Snape, do you even plan on using it?"

James shrugged and carefully put the vial back into his bag, "Yeah, I just need to find a good time."

"Again, you've been saying that for awhile," said Sirius, raising an eyebrow at his friend, "Beginning to have second thoughts?"

"No! I still say this is the best prank yet," said James defensively, "It just has to be properly executed."

"Right," replied Sirius, leaning back in his chair, "Like how you 'properly execute' flirting with Evans while Remus isn't around?"

James kicked Sirius' chair hard, causing him to topple over and fall to the ground loudly, causing most of the students and the now irate professor to look at him, the professor glaring at Sirius pointedly for interrupting his class. Sirius muttered an apology as some of the other students laughed, and he gave James a dirty look, while James just smirked back at Sirius.

A couple hours later, class had ended and James walked over to Lily with a slight bounce in his stride. Sirius made a fake gagging noise behind him, which James ignored completely.

"Hey Ev-ah, Lily," said James with a smile, as he stopped in front of Lily.

Lily looked up at James somewhat confused, "Um, hi James. What brings you by?" Lily scowled at herself for the near failure of a response.

"I just wanted to know if you were planning to go to Hogsmeade this weekend?" he asked confidently, messing up his hair with his one hand as he spoke to her.

Lily exchanged a look with her friend beside her and shrugged at James, "I don't know, I think so – if Remus is up to it."

"Right, well, if Remus isn't up to it, would you still go?" he asked, clearly taking Lily out of her comfort zone, as she began to blush.

"Of course I'd go, if I wanted to!" she replied strongly, "Why wouldn't I? It's not like I sit around waiting for orders from Remus! I can do what I want, you know!"

Lily's hotheadedness may have gotten the best of her, and her friend Samantha jabbed her in the side to let her know she was sounding a little crazy, which shut Lily up.

"It's alright, I wasn't accusing you of anything," said James with a laugh, "Well, maybe I'll see you there?" James smiled Lily a 100-galleon smile, and she returned a small one back.

"Sure, I guess," said Lily, "See you."

James nodded and took off with Sirius, who was waiting for him by the doorway, shock ringing through his face.

"Did you just ask another guy's girl out to Hogsmeade?" asked Sirius bemused, as they walked out.

"Yep!" replied James triumphantly, "And, here's the best part, she said… yes!"

James guffawed with Sirius as they walked down the halls. Sirius couldn't help but be a little weary of James' 'plan'.

"And what happens with Remus finds out?" asked Sirius slowly, "You do know the last time someone talked to Lily like that, they were attacked."

"Aww, I'm not worried, mate," said James shaking his hand at Sirius, "First, he won't find out, and secondly… well… actually there was just that one point."

Sirius put a hand to his forehead and rubbed it in frustration, "Alright mate. Your funeral."

"We'll see about that," said James as he stopped walking and looked at Sirius, "Hey, you need more books from the library?"

Sirius shrugged and shook his head, "Na, I think I have all I need from last time, why?"

"I was thinking about heading down there to catch up on my classes… you know, for the N.E.," said James rather seriously.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow at James, "Okay, who are you and what have you done with James Potter?"

"I'm being serious," said James, but smiled slightly, "Well, I'm not being Sirius, cause that'd be you, but I'm being James when I say I want to study."

Sirius groaned and rolled his eyes. James had known Sirius for 7 years now, and for 7 years Sirius had to put up with James' sorry excuse for a bad pun as it never ceased to amuse him.

"Ok, let's go then," said Sirius dragging his feet as he moved to the library, "It's not like I have anything to do now anyways."

"Brilliant," said James cheerfully, as they both walked to a side of the school they'd rarely walk by until the most recent of days.

* * *

Lily was exiting her defense class, still a little befuddled by James, as Peter walked up to her with a worried look on his face.

"Peter? Is something wrong?" she asked, looking at the boy in front of him, taking in his face pale with dark circles under the eyes.

"I just wanted to know if I could ask you something," Peter began slowly.

"Wow Lils, two in a row, you're Ms. Popular today!" joked Samantha, as Lily shot her a look. Peter glanced between the two of them, looking confused while Lily just shook her head and told Samantha she would catch up with her at lunch in the Great Hall, so she could talk to Peter.

"What is it Peter?" she asked softly, as the two of them walked together towards the common room.

"Well, I saw James talking to you earlier and I was wondering if he mentioned anything about…" Peter leaned in closer to Lily, "death eaters?"

Lily stopped dead in her tracks and gave Peter a bewildered look, "What? What on earth are you talking about? Why would he talk to be about death eaters?"

Peter shushed Lily, as a few students were starting to look at them, and he was beginning to get uncomfortable.

"I just thought he was asking because you used to talk to Snape, and he was talking to him before-"

"Wait," interrupted Lily, putting her hand up, "What does Severus have to do with death eaters?"

Peter gave Lily a quizzical look, "You mean you don't know? I thought you were friends?"

"Know what?" Lily crossed her arms, and raised her eyebrows at Peter, "Please explain."

"Well…" began Peter slowly, "Snape is a death eater."

* * *

James and Sirius found a table at the library and emptied the contents of their bag – except for the vial of amortentia – on the table, going through various homework assignments and class books.

"Wow, can you believe what we're doing?" laughed Sirius softly, "It only took us 7 years to formally study in a library…"

"I know, sometimes I wonder if I'm being imperioed," James joked back, as the two started on a defense against dark arts paper.

They accomplished less than a fourth of an inch each, mostly because they'd constantly break the silence of studying by cracking jokes with one another, when the library doors burst open, and a fuming red head angrily paced through the library, looking around for someone.

"Whoa, did you slip her some of that potion?" asked Sirius, noticing Lily's entrance, "Because if you did, I don't think that was amortentia."

"No!" replied James, a little fearful at the look Lily possessed, "If this is what she's like when she's in love..."

Lily's eyes narrowed in on the person she was looking for. He wasn't sitting in his normal spot in the back this time, but he was alone as usual, going through his work like he always did – and he hadn't noticed her entrance.

"Snape!" Lily yelled rather loudly for being inside a library, causing a few people to look her way.

Snape raised his eyes at Lily confused at her outburst. She hadn't exactly talked to him since the fight with Remus, and admittedly, he's been a bit busy with recent events.

"Evans?" he replied questioningly, surprised she'd called him 'Snape'.

She walked over to the table he was sitting at, and slammed her hands on his table. Sirius and James eyed one another and crept closer to the two, hiding behind a bookshelf, to get a better look at what was going on.

"How could you do this?" Lily yelled at Snape, her eyes angry and disappointed, "I thought you were different!"

Snape sighed and stood up, "What are you on about?"

"I know you're a death eater," said Lily accusingly, "How could you join them, Sev?"

There was a bit of pleading in her voice, as if she was trying to save her friend from making a terrible decision – which, in her mind, she was.

"I hardly think this is any of your business-"

"I knew from the minute you were talking to Avery and Mulciber that you'd join," Lily said with disgust, "Those two are absolutely foul, and now that you're … you're… _one of them_…" her voice trailed off, and her eyes started to well up. She was angry that Snape was joining Voldemort, but also saddened that she was losing her friend.

"I knew you wouldn't understand," Snape said coldly, "Little Lily Evans sitting in her ivory tower, looking down on the rest of the world. I'm sorry to inform you that nobody cares about your stupid love problems while there's more important stuff going on."

Lily's jaw dropped slightly, she had never heard Snape talk to her like this before. The sadness that was in her was now replaced with a mixture of shock and hurt.

"Hey, that was a little uncalled for," said a voice behind Lily, as James walked forward to stand beside her. Lily didn't turn to acknowledge him, still reeling over Snape's last remark.

"Stay out of this Potter," said Snape menacingly, "It doesn't concern you."

"How dare you?" said Lily slowly, "And I thought we were friends, you choose your stupid little death eaters over me? They're evil…"

Snape just glared at Lily and James, as more people crowded around, Avery – his fellow death eater, watching him closely – ready to report anything Snape may say back to Voldemort. Snape closed his eyes for a moment and grimaced, before speaking again. He knew what he had to say, his whole body shaking – as if to discourage him.

"They were right about you, Evans," he began slowly, emotion drained from his voice, "You're just a pathetic little mudblood-"

Snape didn't get to finish his sentence, as a hex was hurled at him – throwing him back several feet and knocking him into a bookshelf, causing various books to pile up on top of him. He shoved some books aside and looked surprised to see that the hex wasn't cast from Lily's wand.

Lily was just as shocked as she turned her head to see an agitated James with his wand withdrawn and pointed at Snape. Sirius stood behind him with others looking just as stunned as Lily and Snape.

"Take it back," was all James whispered in a low, serious voice.

"Or what?" sneered Snape, shoving the books that covered him aside, and standing up.

"Take. It. Back," James repeated, pausing between each word to show Snape he wasn't kidding.

Snape looked back at the crowd, and saw Avery still looking at him with interest, and Snape slowly drew his wand, pointing it back at James.

"You shouldn't have gotten involved, Potter," said Snape threateningly.

"Better watch it Snivellus," said Sirius, now standing beside his friend with his wand drawn as well, "Two against one hardly seems fair."

"Can't see that I'm surprised to see you beside him, Black," Snape replied coolly, "Loyal as a dog, and just as stupid as one too it seems."

Sirius emitted what sounded like a low growl from the back of his throat, as he stepped forward, warning Snape not to test him.

"Stop it!" yelled Lily finally out of a daze she seemed to be in for the last few minutes.

She turned to face James, and put a hand on outstretched arm softly, "He's not worth it."

James took his eyes off Snape and focused on Lily, gazing at her softly. The touch of her hand on his arm sent a tingling sensation through his body, and he quickly lowered his wand.

Lily sighed softly, and turned to walk out of the library. She was feeling lightheaded by the events that had just occurred, and thought she needed to leave before she passed out in front of everyone.

"Lily! Wait!" yelled James, as he took off after her.

Snape and Sirius exchanged looks of hatred with one another, as they both put their wands away, causing those who were watching to slowly go back to their seats, now that the fight had died down. Snape was the next to exit the library, while Sirius just went back to his table – still cluttered with his and James' books, and fell into the seat. He had an unshakable feeling that everything around him was about to change.

* * *

_A/N: __Oh la la! More to update, soon! ;) Thanks for the views! :)_


	12. Chapter 12: Between Life and Death

**Chapter 12: Between Life and Death**

* * * *

"Lily!" yelled James again, chasing Lily down a hallway towards the Gryffindor common room, and she didn't stop until she reached it, throwing herself onto a couch.

James, vigilant in making sure she was alright, followed her and stopped in front of the couch, panting slightly.

"You're… very… fast…" said James between breaths, as he bend down, his hands on his knees.

Lily looked up at him from the couch, tears streaming down her face, "You didn't need to follow me, James. I'm fine."

"Oh I wasn't following you," said James looking away, "I was just going for my usual afternoon jog through the halls to the common room. I find it quite energizing, really…"

Lily's troubled face broke into a small smile as she looked at James, disheveled and out of breath, "Oh, I see. Well, looks like it's really working well for you…"

"Yeah," replied James, and moved closer to the couch, "You mind if I sit down?"

Lily shrugged and made room for James next to her, sliding over delicately. James smiled and plopped himself down less gracefully than most, and leaned back in comfort.

"You shouldn't have done what you did in the library," said Lily, as if she were scolding him, but then she softened her face and smiled appreciatively at him, "But thanks."

"Well I couldn't let him stand there and call you that," said James scratching his head with one hand, "He was out of line."

"We were friends since we were kids," said Lily sadly, "I knew we both wanted different things and this time would eventually come, but it feels like I'm losing everyone close to me lately…"

James perked up a little bit and shuffled his uniform around casually, "Oh?"

"Yeah…" said Lily, pausing for a minute before continuing, "But Snape was right, my stupid love problems are not exactly important right now."

"Snape's an idiot," said James dismissively, "Especially if he's involved with death eaters like you said."

Lily turned to face James, and looked very serious, "You wouldn't be involved with death eaters and You-Know-Who, would you?"

James nearly jumped back a foot and looked at Lily with wide eyes, "What? Have you gone mad? Me? Death eaters?"

"Yeah, I didn't think so," said Lily quickly, before James had a heart attack, "I knew you wouldn't be interested in that kind of stuff – I should have known."

"Damn right I wouldn't be," said James firmly, but then smiled at Lily, "Wait, how would you know I wouldn't be… I mean, it's not like we're friends or anything…"

Lily blushed slightly as she spoke, "Well, erm… I guess because you don't seem like the type… you seem… well… like a good person."

James leaned back on the sofa, smiling. He was flattered by Lily's admission, and he couldn't help but feel a little flustered in front of her now – he knew it must have been hard for her to admit this to him, especially since they weren't always on the best terms. Nearly a year ago, he couldn't stand to be in the same room as her.

"Well… cheers," said James bashfully, drumming his fingers on his leg.

"You're welcome," said Lily softly, "You know you're not so bad when you're not arrogant." Lily chuckled and James grinned slyly at her.

They sat in silence on the couch together for a few moments, while the only sound in the room was the crackling from the fireplace in front of them.

"Hey Evans?" James whispered, as if he were telling her a secret.

"Yes?" she whispered back, not even caring he didn't call her 'Lily'.

"You're not so bad yourself."

* * *

"And then there was the time when I thought I got an E in Potions, but it turned out I had gotten an O, and there was something just stuck to the paper…"

Remus was drifting to sleep as his roommate, John Dawlish, kept droning on about his life, and being as polite as he could, Remus just endured it.

The door to their room swung open, and two other Ravenclaw boys were talking loudly some interesting event that had happened in the library earlier, causing Dawlish to look at them irritated as they interrupted his story to Remus.

"Oi, Remus!" one of the boys said, "Did you hear about Potter and Snape in the library?"

Remus pulled the pillow that was covering his face off and rolled up on his bed, "Do I even want to know?"

"Well, yeah, Lily was talking to Snape-"

Remus suddenly perked up, and glared at the boy telling the story, "Wait, what? Lily was talking to Snape again?" Remus gritted his teeth and he began to breath heavily, "Go on."

"Yeah, well not so much talk, but they were fighting," the boy continued now a little nervous at Remus' disposition.

"Snape called her a mudblood!" said the other boy, unable to contain himself.

"HE did WHAT?!" yelled Remus. If a person could burst into flames for being so angry, Remus would resemble an erupting volcano.

"Yeah," the second boy continued nonchalantly, "She was upset and didn't say anything, but then all of a sudden Snape was thrown back into a shelf of books-"

"Yeah and it was James Potter who did it!" finished the first boy, "He sent him hurtling after he called her that. It was wicked, I never knew those two even got along!"

Remus was also puzzled, as far as he'd known Lily and James got on just about as well as he and James did. Perhaps he'd misjudged James after all these years.

Remus picked himself off of his bed as the two boys talked about what part of the fight was the best, and bolted down to the library. He was worried about what kind of state Lily was in, and he knew that despite the newfound estrangement in their relationship, they were still best friends, and she must need him now after all this.

* * *

Sirius thought about leaving the library, but figured James would want time alone with Lily. Whether or not he it was part of his plan, Sirius thought James was starting to fall for her, except he didn't realize it just yet – and this amused Sirius greatly. He pondered what Lily would do in the situation, as he felt she was starting to like James back, but there was that little problem of having a boyfriend. In all honesty, he would even feel a little bad for Lupin...

* * *

"_And… NOW!" yelled James as he and Sirius hid in a broom cupboard, with 3 dungbombs in their hands, eagerly waiting for their target to arrive - just another regular day in their 5th year at Hogwarts. Luckily James had spot him turn the corner, and they both threw open the door, pelting their victim – a large, burly Slytherin chaser - with the dungbombs, and began sprinting down the hallway before they could retaliate._

"_Split up!" yelled James, as they came to a division, Sirius running down a corridor on the left, while James ran down the one on the right, both promising to meet back in the Gryffindor common room to discuss how brilliant their prank went._

_As Sirius turned the corner, he ran down an unfamiliar corridor and began looking around frantically, wishing he had some kind of map of the school with him._

"_You might as well not try and run anymore," said a voice from behind Sirius, "I saw the whole thing."_

_A figure approached him, and there stood Remus with his shiny prefect badge placed on his robes proudly._

"_Oh great," said Sirius rolling his eyes, "Look what the banshee dragged in."_

"_Well, Black, it looks like 10 points from Gryffindor for that prank on Montague," said Remus, imagining the hourglass in the Great Hall turning back 10 for Gryffindor. He smiled smugly, "Though I really must thank you, hopefully he'll be too self conscious about his odor to play well in the quidditch match tomorrow – another easy win for Ravenclaw."_

"_I don't know what you're even talking about," said Sirius shrugging his shoulders innocently, "I was just going for a jog down the halls."_

"_Nice try, but I saw you on my map," said Remus snidely, pulling out an old folded map that appeared to be enchanted with magic._

"_What? A old sodding map told you what I was doing?" asked Sirius with a laugh, "I swear it Lupin, you're mental."_

_Remus shoved the map closer to Sirius, and mumbled a few words as he opened it up. Sirius took a closer look at it and noticed that there were small moving dots scattered around the map, each with a little tag bearing a name on it. As he peered at it longer, he saw two dots labeled 'Remus Lupin' and 'Sirius Black' next to each other in what looked like a dark corridor on the 3__rd__ floor._

"_How…" Sirius said, still gazing at the map in astonishment, "Where did you get that?"_

"_Never mind that," said Remus, tearing the map away and shoving it back into his robe pocket. He wasn't about to tell him he made it in his fourth year, not unless he wanted Sirius to run around telling Dumbledore or McGonagall about it, "Getting back to the issue on hand…"_

"_It was just a prank," said Sirius unapologetically, "Gee Remus, lighten up."_

_Remus cocked an eyebrow at Sirius, "Still, I should tell your head of house about this."_

"_Go ahead, it's not like I care either way," said Sirius sighing, and leaning against a wall._

"_Really?" said Remus, a little annoyed he wasn't able to threaten him, "What about your parents? I bet they'd care that you'd keep getting detention."_

_Sirius laughed, almost maniacally, which caused Remus to take a step back._

"_You don't know my parents," said Sirius still laughing, "They don't care about me. They wouldn't care if I died." Although Sirius still laughed, Remus could detect a hint of sadness in his voice._

"_That can't be true," said Remus softly, changing his tone completely, "No one would say that about their children."_

"_Well… you don't know my parents," Sirius repeated, clearing his throat. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the floor, while Remus stood in front of him uncomfortably._

"_My dad left when I was young," said Remus, breaking the silence, "He was a muggle and got scared or something about me and my mom being a wizard and witch. I haven't seen him since."_

_The two boys stood in silence for a while, neither one making eye contact._

"_Families are rubbish," Sirius said finally, breaking the tension, "Who needs them."_

"_Well, my mum isn't rubbish exactly," said Remus pointedly._

"_Mine's a combination of a hag and a banshee," said Sirius laughing, "Really, when she's yelling, it just makes you wish you were born without ears."_

_Remus chuckled, "You know, if you weren't friends with Potter, you wouldn't be so bad, Black."_

"_Yeah, well since I am, I guess we'll never be friends," said Sirius sighing with a smirk, "Too bad, I bet you'd be bloody brilliant to copy homework off of."_

_Remus shook his head smiling and pointed down the hall, "Just keep going straight till you reach a one humped witch statue, take your first left and keep going, you'll eventually hit the back of the library – I take it you can find your way after that?"_

"_Yeah, cheers," said Sirius and started to head off down the dark hallway._

_Remus thought to go back where he had come from and patrol more hallways, but before he did, he stopped and yelled to the descending figure that was Sirius._

"_Oh, and thanks for helping that first year find her lost cat, and walking her to the common room so she wouldn't get lost," said Remus slyly, "That was really nice of you."_

_Sirius whipped around, a confused look on his face, "What are you-"_

"_10 points to Gryffindor," said Remus with a grin, and walked off._

_Sirius stood in place for a minute in awe at Remus' gesture and watched him walk away. He shook his head and laughed to himself, "You really are mental, Lupin."_

_

* * *

_

His mind hurt from thinking about it too much, and he needed to move on to another train of thought.

He picked up one of his transfiguration books, and looked around the library. A lot of people had left, and he was anxious to try it out – but he needed somewhere quiet, somewhere he couldn't be interrupted. Sirius scanned the library again, and his eyes fell on a dark, deserted area of the library. Sirius let out a triumphant grin and packed his things, slowly moving to the table. He had been studying and training his mind for over a year now, and he felt like he was ready.

Sirius took out a few of the books and spread them around the table, all of them open at different passages, so he could glance at them while he tried his transformation out. With one deep breath, he closed his eyes and let his mind guide him to become an animagi.

Remus burst into the library, hoping Lily was still there. Common sense told him that she was most likely gone, not wanting to linger in a place where her former friend had just called her something so vile. But he held onto the hope that maybe she'd be there, waiting for him.

After searching down deserted aisles of the library, Remus was about to give up.

Then, he saw someone in the corner of his eye, in the dark area of the library. Remus remembered the last time he was in the library in that very location, and his mouth formed a snarl as he saw someone with dark black hair sitting there, apparently concentrating fiercely on something – Remus had thought that Snape was sitting there in his usual spot, going on about his day like what he'd said and done hadn't mattered to him in the slightest.

Remus ran full force towards the figure, and grabbed onto the back of their robes.

Sirius, who was mid-transformation, broke his concentration abruptly and felt a great shock of pain run through his body.

Remus pulled Sirius around, and was surprised to find Sirius, not Snape, and let go of his robes immediately.

"Oh, sorry," began Remus slowly, "I thought you were…"

Remus stopped talking as he watched Sirius writhe in pain in front of him, his complexion paled as he fell to the floor. Sirius was moaning, and his eyes rolled back in his head as his body spasmed and contorted into an unnatural shape.

"Sirius?" Remus gasped, and knelt down beside Sirius, "Sirius? Are you alright? Can you hear me?"

Remus heard sickening burst of crunching sounds, like that of bones being crushed coming from Sirius body. Remus started panicking and starting swearing under his breath, as he got up and looked around for someone to help. He couldn't find Madam Barnes anywhere, and the library was deserted. He looked at the table, and saw the open animagus books and he figured what was going on. He swore again.

"Sirius, listen to me," said Remus, who looked down at Sirius, whose eyes were closed.

"Sirius!" Remus yelled louder, and began slapping Sirius' face lightly, trying to wake him up, "Sirius! Please! Wake up!"

Sirius' body went completely limp, and he moved no more.

* * * *

* * *

**_A/N: Oh NO! _**

_I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to take a bit of a break, so I won't be updating for another 4 weeks or so... haha, just kidding :P It'll be coming shortly, no worries :)_


	13. Chapter 13: Lucky Dogs & Evil Libraries

**Chapter 13: Lucky Dogs and Evil Libraries**

* * * *

_It would be dark and rainy on the day of Sirius' funeral. There would be pictures of him posted up near his mahogany casket, and Dumbledore would cancel classes for the day, so those who knew him could mourn the loss of their classmate and friend. The staff would attend, and even the hard McGonagall would be showing a softer side, deeply saddened at the loss._

_Most all of the Gryffindors would attend to show their condolences, as well as many other students from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw – perhaps even a few Slytherin. Remus would be there, having been the one who had found him. Lily barely spoke to him while he was alive – and when they had conversed it was far from pleasant, but she would be there with flowers, tears streaming down her face and holding Remus' hand. Peter would be there, feeling ashamed that he had drifted away from Sirius during his final days alive._

_James would be the worst that day, completely broken up. He wouldn't be able to speak to anyone without his voice cracking in anguish. He would go through many stages of grief, and still may not fully accept Sirius' death for a long while._

_Even Regulus would contemplate going, but finally be persuaded by his family to not. Sirius' own mother would barely shed a tear for her lost son, to no one's surprise._

_Yes, this is what would happen if Sirius had died._

_Luckily for him, he was still very much alive._

* * *

Sirius felt his face was warm, and could see the lightness over his closed eyelids. He opened his eyes, squinting at the sudden brightness, and let a small whimper escape his dry lips.

Sirius could hear people stir around him, and he blinked a few times, focusing his eyes and taking in his surroundings.

"Wha…" Sirius choked out, and his vocal chords betrayed him, as he was unable to form even a single word.

"Shhh," murmured a soft voice, "Don't try and talk right away until you get your bearings, dear."

Madam Pomfrey handed Sirius a glass of cold liquid, and Sirius drank it down as if he had been thirsty for years. He cleared his throat and finally found he was in the hospital wing of Hogwarts, sitting upright on a clean white bed, the warmth on his face being the sunlight flitting through the window.

"It's good to see you're finally back," said Madam Pomfrey, a mixture of relief and victory in her voice, "You've had a few bad injuries, bones broken and such. All repaired mind you, but you still need time to properly recover."

"What happened?" Sirius was finally able to ask, as he began feeling the soreness throughout his body. His chest was covered in purplish bruises that looked like they had been worse before, but were now starting to heal.

"You don't remember?" asked Madam Pomfrey fluffing up his pillow, "Well I suppose a little memory loss when you wake up is normal…"

Sirius closed his eyes and thought about the last thing he remembered. He could remember a fight in the library between James and Snape, and then his mind suddenly picked up on him sitting alone in the back trying out his animagus. He could remember concentrating deeply on the transformation, and then everything going black.

Sirius' eyes widened at the thought of being found trying out this dangerous transfiguration without consent – he was sure he'd get kicked out of Hogwarts if McGonagall found out.

"Oh no," Sirius whispered.

"Indeed," agreed Madam Pomfrey, "Another reason why students should be more careful when practicing their magic with one another. Although that other Ravenclaw student, Remus was his name, was so upset about hurting you so badly – even though it was an accident."

Sirius crinkled his forehead in confusion, "Remus?"

"Yes, he told us everything," said Madam Pomfrey, "About how you two were practicing defense spells with one another in the library, and how he hit you with a spell, causing you to collide with Madam Barnes' heavy bookshelves. You looked like you were completely crushed by the weight! Terrible shape indeed!"

Sirius inhaled sharply as his jaw dropped slightly, "He… he told you that?"

"Yes, and of course it was my duty to inform the Headmaster and your heads of house," said Madam Pomfrey, "Poor thing, looked so pale with worry. I even felt bad for him when they stripped him of his prefect title."

Sirius couldn't believe it. His head was spinning as Madam Pomfrey told him all the detail of what appeared to be the last few days. Remus had covered up for him, and for what reason he had no idea.

"They stripped him of his title?" asked Sirius meekly, "But why?"

"Well, for the very fact that you were injured so badly! Not to mention dueling in the library is not permitted, _and_ that you must have a Professor's consent before doing so," said Madam Pomfrey so matter-of-factly, "He knew all these rules and yet chose to break them. Shame really, he's quite the talented student."

Sirius started clambering out of his bed, when Madam Pomfrey stood in front of him, pushing him down on the bed.

"Tut tut, I'm not letting you leave for another few hours," she said strictly, "You're much too weak to be going anywhere."

"But I need to talk to Remus," protested Sirius, "This isn't-"

"I'm afraid he's most likely in class, Mr. Black," Madam Pomfrey said assuredly, "I can let him know you're awake, but that's all for now. Get some rest, and we'll see how you're doing – maybe we can release you early on good behavior."

Sirius fell back onto his bed, defeated – a slight pain ran through his head as it collided with his pillow. He felt as if he was in a prison cell in Azkaban, and not the hospital wing. He sighed and stared out the window wondering if he was really dead and stuck in some kind of strange world between life and death – because nothing was making sense to him anymore.

* * *

After Remus had successfully transported Sirius safely to the hospital wing using a levitating charm as an aid, his mind began thinking up excuses for when he would surely be asked what exactly had happened to Sirius. He knew he could tell them the truth, but that would most likely result in some heavy trouble for Sirius, and truth be told – he had felt guilty for him getting injured in the first place.

Remus had thought if he hadn't interrupted Sirius, he would probably been successful at the transfiguration and wouldn't be lying in the hospital wing, unconscious for two days. So, he had thought up a wild story about practicing defense spells with one another, and how one of the spells had gone horribly wrong, deflecting onto a heavy bookshelf behind Sirius. He had even felt slightly bad about destroying one of Madam Barnes' shelves to make it look believable.

As he expected, he had gotten quite a tongue lashing from his head of house and McGonagall – while Dumbledore looked more disappointed than angry. That was what got to him the worst, he didn't even care too much about losing his prefect badge.

Once word had gotten around about his 'dueling' accident, people started acting a little differently towards Remus – most were unable to believe that Remus Lupin would ever break the rules.

Remus sat in a lone corner of the Ravenclaw table, away from everybody else during dinner in the Great Hall the night of the incident. He didn't want to be bothered with dozens of questions by curious students, and lucky for him many had picked up on this from his somber disposition.

All had, except James.

He walked over to Remus and sat down next to him, without bothering with greetings or the usual insult. He looked just as troubled as Remus, and looked at Remus very seriously.

"What _really_ happened, Remus?" James asked, getting to the point rather quickly, "Because I know you two weren't in some duel or whatever it is they're saying."

Remus glanced at James and replied with no emotion in his voice, "I don't know what you mean."

James pounded a fist on the table, more out of frustration than to intimidate him, and breathed in deeply before continuing.

"Please," James said softly, his eyes pleading with Remus', "He's my best friend."

Remus felt a twinge of jealousy as James spoke, as he had never known a kind of brotherhood like that before, even though he wished in all his years at Hogwarts he would have been able to bond with others similarly – to have the brothers he had always longed to have.

Remus sighed and ran his hand through his hair before answering.

"Alright," he started slowly, "I found Sirius in the library, I think he was trying out an animagus transformation…"

James' face paled as his eyes grew wide, "Oh no…"

Remus nodded and looked away. The table was full of delicious foods prepared by the elves in the kitchen, but he hadn't had the appetite to eat even a single dinner roll.

"Why did you lie?" asked James, deeply curious, "Why didn't you just rat him out?"

"Because I knew how much trouble he'd be in," said Remus shaking his head, as if he were unable to believe why he did it either, "And I felt kind of responsible… I interrupted him while he was doing it… he'd probably be fine if it weren't for me."

James sat there in silence, taking in all that Remus had said before finally getting up – ready to leave Remus alone. Before he did, he placed a hand on Remus' shoulder lightly.

"You're wrong, Remus," James said softly and gave Remus a warm smile – something that had never happened before in both their years at Hogwarts, "He'd probably be dead if it weren't for you."

Remus swallowed lightly, a little in shock, and offered a small smile in return as he watched James walk over to the Gryffindor table and sit with a group of his friends.

* * *

Two days had passed since the accident, and Remus was finding it hard to concentrate in his potions class. Lily hadn't spoken to him about the accident, which he found the strangest of all because she would normally have been giving him a great inquisition about the event, wanting details from beginning to end.

He had wanted to tell her the truth instead of letting her believe the dueling story was what happened, but because she never asked, he never brought it up. It was like she was in her own little world lately, and Remus figured she must most likely be worried about the N.E., even though they were months and months away.

As class ended, a Hufflepuff student, second year or so, approached Remus in the hallway outside of his class.

"Remus… Remus Lupin?" he asked timidly, knowing full well he was talking to Remus.

Remus nodded and the boy continued, "I was to tell you that, well Madam Pomfrey told me to tell you, you see I was down in the hospital wing for a rash, but that's not what I'm supposed to tell you, although it's an interesting story-"

Remus cleared his throat not to subtly to tell student to get to the point, which the Hufflepuff clearly understood and blushed.

"Sorry," he said slowly, "Sirius Black is awake and was asking to speak to you."

"Ohh… ahh, thanks," said Remus as the boy nodded to him and nearly ran away.

Remus headed to the hospital wing, and entered the room lined with beds. The room had slightly smelt of licorice and peppermint, and he saw Sirius sitting up on one of the beds, reading an issue of the school newspaper. He walked over to his bed slowly, and made a slight noise to alert Sirius of his arrival.

Sirius peered over the newspaper to see Remus standing before him, and put it down immediately.

"Remus," said Sirius surprised, "You're here."

"Yeah," Remus nodded slightly, "They said… that … erm… you wanted to see me?"

Sirius looked around and noticed that Madam Pomfrey was in her nearby office, and most likely unable to hear them. Finding that it was okay to talk, Sirius straightened up in is bed a little bit before continuing.

"Thanks, I suppose," said Sirius unabashedly, "For everything, for saving my life and keeping the animagus thing a secret…"

Remus shifted uncomfortably, and played with his tie, "Yeah, don't worry about it."

"So, are you going to tell me why you did it?" asked Sirius curiously, "Why you covered for me and all that?"

Remus shrugged and looked down at his shoes, "I don't know really. I guess because you would have probably got into trouble-"

"So?" said Sirius shaking his head, "So what if I got in trouble? What do you care?"

Remus seemed a little miffed that Sirius wasn't exactly as accepting of his answer as James was – but then again, this didn't exactly happen to James.

"I don't!" said Remus defensively, "I mean, I… I don't know… I guess because we're seventh years, so close to graduating, and I thought maybe you would do the same for me?"

Sirius laughed, "Really? Because _I'm_ not so sure_ I_ would."

"Yeah, I know," said Remus shaking his head, and sitting down in a chair next to Sirius' bed. He let out a small laugh as well, "Guess I'm an idiot."

"Yeah maybe," said Sirius, a playful tone in his voice, "You had to give up your prefect badge-"

"It's only a bloody badge, no big deal," Remus mumbled, "Personally I was growing a little tired of the responsibility."

Remus stood back up from his chair in one quick motion and walked over to a near window, gazing out of it, staring at nothing in particular.

"Do you ever feel like everything around you is changing?" asked Remus, and turned around to face Sirius again, "Whether you want it to or not – and you can't change it??"

"Well, everyone says a great change is coming," began Sirius.

"No, I'm not talking about Voldemort, just…" Remus' voice trailed off, and he couldn't find the words to form his thoughts, especially not to Sirius who looked more than puzzled at him.

"I guess what I'm saying is that I'm done with all of it," said Remus waving his hand in the air, "I don't want to be that arrogant git everyone says I am-"

"Hey, you're not as bad as James," said Sirius laughing.

"Hey! I resent that!" came a voice from the doorway. James was smiling as he strolled in through the hospital wing, "Heya Remus, Sirius – good to see you're back, finally!" He seemed bright and cheerful, much less worried than Remus had seen him a few days prior when he last spoke to him.

"Jamsie!" said Sirius, fake gasping at his arrival, "I didn't see you coming… but let's face it, you are more arrogant that good ole Remus here." Sirius grinned as James came up to him, and pulled him into a light headlock.

"I'm willing to look past the 'Jamsie' because of your _condition_," started James, letting Sirius go while messing up his hair, "But I doubt I'm more arrogant than Lupin here." He elbowed Remus playfully, and Remus just raised his eyebrows at James.

"You feeling alright, James?" questioned Remus; slightly confused by the newfound camaraderie James seemed to be showing him.

"Just brilliant!" said James happily, "I was just told Sirius was awake, I'm managing to pull much better grades in defense against dark arts, and I've come to realize that maybe a truce is in order between us, Remus."

"A truce?" asked Remus skeptically, "Really?"

"Well yeah, it's not like I'm asking you out to Hogsmeade or anything," James joked, but as soon as he had said those words, the thought of Lily popped up in his head, and James began to feel an immense feeling of remorse rush over him. Sirius, who apparently had been thinking the same thing, looked slightly apprehensive at James.

Remus had also thought about Lily, but instead of noticing the exchange of looks between James and Sirius, he looked very sincerely at James.

"That reminds me, James…" Remus started, and as he said his name, James gulped deeply – worried that maybe he had heard something about him and Lily.

However, Remus didn't seem angry; he seemed grateful.

"I heard about what you did in the library earlier," Remus continued, "You stuck up for Lily… and I wanted to thank you. I wish I had been there…"

James nervously put a hand behind his head and started ruffling his hair, all while unable to make eye contact with Remus. If he had known the real reason why he'd been so quick to defend Lily, he was sure he'd be the one laying in the hospital bed and not Sirius.

"Erm, yeah," James replied softly, "No worries."

Remus smiled and looked between the two, who had gone unusually quiet, "So I guess I better get going, I have some work to do before next class."

James and Sirius nodded in Remus' direction, and Sirius shot Remus an appreciative smile for visiting. Remus headed towards the hospital doors to exit, when Sirius yelled out after him.

"Oi, Remus! One word of advice before you go!" Sirius said, with a sly grin.

Remus turned his head at the door and glanced back.

"Stay away from libraries. They're evil."

* * *

**_A/N_:** _Hope this was an enjoyable chapter ~ seems the boys are starting to grow up. Ahh, it happens so fast *tear* :) As you might have noticed, there isn't the usual flashback in this chapter, as I thought the little 'Death of Sirius' fake out scene in the beginning might have been enough dramatizing for one chapter! :)_


	14. Chapter 14: Hogsmeade Part 1: If Only

**Chapter 14: Hogsmeade Part 1 - If Only**

* * * *

"_The main ingredient in swelling solution is what?" asked Lily, sitting in a chair across from Snape, both of them tucked away in a quiet part of the library._

"_That's easy, it's puffer-fish eyes," said Snape victoriously, leaning back in his chair, "Come on, I thought this was going to be hard."_

"_Well, not everyone's as good in potions as you, Sev," said Lily smiling, "Honestly, you should be a professor or something."_

_The two of them were second years, studying for their midterm quiz in potions. Although, in honesty, both of them hardly needed to study, being the best students in the class for two years straight._

"_You're just as good as me," said Snape, raising an eyebrow at Lily, "'Sides, being a teacher would be boring – you have to deal with bratty students all the time."_

_Snape made a sour face, and Lily giggled, paging through her potions book. They were always in the library these days, of course, being from different houses there were hardly any other places they could meet up and study. It was like the library was their place._

"_What do you want to do when we graduate?" asked Lily curiously, now fiddling through her book bag for a quill and parchment to take notes._

_Snape shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know yet, I guess."_

_Lily smirked, still searching for a quill, "You could be anything you want, Sev. You know more spells than most of the older students!"_

_Snape looked down shyly at the floor, the inside of him doing flips of excitement from Lily's compliment. He reached into his bag and pulled out a beautiful garnet colored quill, barely used. He had bought it from Diagon Alley before the start of school, using money he had earned from tutoring other students in his first year at Hogwarts – especially one young Gryffindor who seemed to be terrible at potions but had quite heavy pockets._

"_Here," said Snape, passing the quill over to Lily carefully. Lily's eyes widened as she took the quill gratefully in her hands._

"_Wow, Sev," said Lily, examining the quill carefully, "It's very beautiful – I promise, I'll be careful with it."_

"_Don't worry about it," said Snape waving a hand dismissively._

"_You're lucky to find one this bright and perfect," said Lily in awe, as she tested it out on her parchment, smiling triumphantly as the ink that magically poured from it was smooth and crisp._

_Snape glanced between the quill and to Lily's face, "You know, if you want it…"_

_Lily's emerald eyes got even bigger as she looked at Snape in shock, "No, I can't. It's yours! I couldn't… I won't."_

"_Consider it an early birthday gift," said Snape quickly, "It saves me a trip back down there, now anyways. Please, just take it."_

_Lily smiled and got out of her chair to walk over to Snape's side of the table, and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a gentle hug. Snape was a bit surprised by the affection Lily displayed and patted her back awkwardly._

"_Thanks, Sev," said Lily softly, "I love it! It's the best present I've ever gotten."_

"_You're welcome," Snape replied, his voice slightly squeaking as he spoke._

"_Look," said Lily excitedly, still gushing over Snape's gift, "It's almost the exact color of my hair! Isn't that a weird coincidence or what?_

_Snape nodded slowly and cleared his throat as he pulled another quill, this one much older, out for himself._

_If only she knew._

* * *

Lily was in her room, kneeling in front of her trunk holding a red quill, less beautiful than it had originally been from being used so frequently. She had been sitting there for nearly 15 minutes straight, contemplating deeply about what she was going to do with it. On one hand, she loved that quill – it was her favorite, and she had deemed it her lucky quill that she had used on all her major tests, including her O., in which she partially credited her quill for her fantastic results.

Then, on the other hand, every time she looked at the quill, it made her think of Snape, and she was still livid at him for earlier events – especially after being called a mudblood. She never thought someone she had been friends with for so long could just turn on her in an instant; and she was rightly broken hearted when he had.

Without dwelling on the matter further, she stood up with the quill in her hand, walked over to the nearest garbage bin and tossed it in – exhaling deeply as she did.

Today Lily was cleaning out more than just the clutter in her room, but also the things in her life that she knew she could no longer hold on to.

* * *

"So, are you still going through with it or not?" asked Sirius quietly, as he was walking with James through the halls and to breakfast on the early Saturday morning.

James looked at Sirius gravely and shook his head, "I don't know mate. We called a truce and everything. I guess I'd kind of feel bad, it'd be like going back on my word, and James Potter does not go back on his word."

Sirius nodded in agreement, knowing that when James used third person to describe a situation, he was serious. As they both reached the Great Hall and strode in, they saw that it was bright and sunny outside this November day, as it was shown from the enchanted ceiling, and the Hall was somewhat packed with chattering students, all anxious and happy it was yet another Hogsmeade weekend.

"Well, what are you going to do with that amortentia in your bag then?" asked Sirius curiously, eyeing James' book bag.

James laughed as they took a seat at their table, and clasped a hand on Sirius' shoulder, "If you want to use it on some poor girl, it'll cost you. It wasn't cheap, _Snivellus_ the bloody…" James' voice trailed off in disgust as he piled a load of food onto his plate.

"No, I don't want it, and personally, I don't need it," Sirius replied with a wink. He elbowed James and urged him to look down a few seats at a group of Gryffindor girls who were eyeing the boys dreamily. James gave them an award-winning grin, causing a few of them to giggle, and he looked back at Sirius with triumph.

"Well, apparently neither do I," James said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah, well I reckon they like you because they heard about the library incident with Lily and Snape," said Sirius chuckling as took a bite off a sausage and pointing the rest of it at James as he spoke, "Chivalry is one of the qualities girls look for in a bloke, I hear. Next to good hair of course."

James took a hand to his hair and fussed it up a bit, so it was sticking in various directions. He had not missed Emily with her properness and love of gelled hair, and he was most certain his hair didn't miss her either.

"I'm a Gryffindor, chivalry is what we do," said James proudly, and Sirius raised an eyebrow at James as he could have sword James puffed up his chest slightly like some sort of super hero.

The Great Hall doors opened, and Peter walked in, talking to a group of boys in Slytherin, which was most unusual for him, and Sirius and James who had noticed this, stared at him in bewilderment.

"Why is Peter with _them_," Sirius whispered to James, the loathing in his voice made quite clear.

"No idea," said James scratching his head with hand, "He's been a little off lately, you notice?"

Sirius shot James a concerned look and nodded as Peter took a seat next to him.

"Hi guys," he said nervously, grabbing a piece of toast, "How… how are you?"

"Pete what are doing with those guys?" asked Sirius up front, pointing to the group who went to sit at their own green and silver table, "You never talked to them before?"

"Yeah Peter, what gives?" asked James, also curious and a little bit angry.

"What? I'm not allowed to make new friends, is it? All I should have are you lot and I'm supposed to sit around and wait here while you two go off and share secrets and what not without me, am I?" Peter said in an angry outburst, leaving the other two shocked and confused, "I'm supposed to be ignored until you two decide I'm worthy enough of your time? Well just… just bugger off!"

With that, Peter stood abruptly from the table and stormed out of the Great Hall, leaving James and Sirius more bewildered than when they had seen him arrive. They sat there in silence for a moment, staring at the doors of the Great Hall, as if waiting for the doors to do some kind of trick, before slowly turning back to their food.

"Okay then," said Sirius slowly as finished off another sausage, "Nice chat, Pete."

"You think we've been ignoring him?" asked James frowning at Sirius.

"Na, he's losing it, I'm telling you," said Sirius, waving his hand, "It's probably the whole N.E.W.T. thing that's got him all bothered. Let him be, he'll cool off, I'm sure."

* * *

Peter wielded a corner around a corridor at breakneck speed, needing to get away from everything at the moment. He was pretty sure that he just made a fool of himself in front of his friends, or perhaps now – he thought – his former friends. He was worried about being shut out, about being completely powerless and abandoned, he didn't realize that what he was doing was going to leave him exactly in the position he didn't want to be in.

Peter stopped dead in his tracks, as he saw a figure looming in the shadows of a nearby hallway. It was a younger Slytherin, who was looking at his left arm with curiosity and another feeling Peter couldn't really place. Immediately realizing what it was, Peter slowly made his way towards the figure.

"R-Regulus?" Peter stammered, causing Regulus to drop his arm quickly to his side and jump back.

"What do you want?" Regulus sneered, trying to hold himself back from cursing Peter upon seeing his prefect badge pinned on his chest.

"It's o-ok, I'm not t-trying to get you into t-trouble or anything," Peter continued, inching closer with his hands up.

Regulus stared at Peter coldly, but remained silent.

Peter broke the silence, "I noticed you were looking at your arm-"

"So? Is there some rule against that? I was just looking at scratch I got earlier…" Regulus stated, his voice trailing off. He looked menacingly at Peter, refusing to show him any fear or subordinance.

Peter sighed and dropped his hands, "Look, I-I know what it is. And I was actually wondering something…"

"What?" Regulus asked hastily, as if he had somewhere more important he needed to be.

Peter shifted uncomfortably as all his past thoughts cam rushing to his head in a blurry instant.

"I want to join…" Peter hesitated a moment before finishing his sentence, "Voldemort."

Regulus looked wide-eyed at Peter, who stood frozen in place.

"Very funny," said Regulus rolling his eyes, "You and your idiot friends can go prank someone else, because I'm not interested in your stupid jokes." Regulus tried to push past Peter, but Peter stood his ground.

"NO!" said Peter loudly, "I'm not joking! This is not a joke, and I'm not one of those idiots anymore!"

"Oh?" asked Regulus, now intrigued.

"I know things are changing, a war is coming, and I want to be on his side," Peter exclaimed maniacally, "He's more powerful than all of them! And I want to join, so... tell me what I have to do!"

Regulus looked at Peter who he thought was speaking mostly out of fear. Regulus changed his attitude slightly and softened up a bit – something that had caught Peter off-guard.

"Are you sure you really want to do this?" Regulus questioned Peter, his eyes showing a glimpse of feeling – almost heeding a warning, "Because once you're in it… there's no turning back…"

Peter inhaled slowly and nodded, "I'm sure."

* * *

Remus was waiting for Lily outside the Gryffindor's portrait of the Fat Lady, who had been eyeing him up and down, a slight smirk on her face making him feel uncomfortable.

"I promise, I'm not trying to sneak in," he said slowly at the Fat Lady.

"Pity," said the Fat Lady slyly, giving him a wink. Remus turned his head away and thought very seriously about meeting Lily elsewhere, when all of a sudden the Fat Lady's portrait swung to the side, and out popped Lily, looking very somber.

"Thank Merlin," muttered Remus walking up to her and planting a kiss on her cheek, as the Fat Lady gave him a playful pout, "How are you, Lils?"

"Alright," Lily sighed heavily as the two walked to the Great Hall for breakfast together.

"What's wrong?" asked Remus, furrowing his brows and grabbing Lily's hand gently.

Lily looked up at Remus and raised her shoulders slightly, "Nothing's wrong."

"Oh," replied Remus, as they walked the rest of the length to the Hall in silence. They entered the Hall and Lily followed Remus to the Ravenclaw table and sat down beside him and a group of others who began chatting with Remus. She took a few items of food from the table, but didn't have much of an appetite.

"So…" started Remus, "Have you decided on Hogsmeade?"

Lily looked down at the floor, remembering her conversation with James a few days earlier about Hogsmeade and felt a little bit of color rushing to her cheeks.

"I don't know," said Lily, "Sam will probably want me to go with her, get some sweets at the shop or something…"

"Ah," said Remus softly, "Sounds good. Wish I could come."

"Yeah," Lily replied in an even softer tone.

Remus and Sirius were not allowed to go to Hogsmeade until after Christmas break as part of their punishment for their library incident. Remus didn't think too much of it, however seeing as how he was supposed to be helping Madam Barnes during Saturdays as punishment from the earlier scuffle he had had with Snape. At the rate he was getting into trouble in his last year at Hogwarts, it was no surprise to Remus why he'd had his prefect badge taken away.

"Well, I hope you have fun," said Remus sincerely, placing his hand over hers on the table. Lily smiled at him apprehensively, and turned her head towards the Gryffindor table.

She saw James talking with a group of other students at his table, laughing and having fun and she envied them – wishing that she could be in a mood to do the same. She thought about when she had talked to James in their common room, and two had gotten on so well, with what she thought might have been a hint of a spark between them.

She sighed deeply, understanding that maybe she was mistaken, and there was no spark. She turned her head back towards Remus and the rest of his friends, as she sat in silence, trying to null the sounds around her for some peace and quiet with her thoughts.

If she had only held her gaze longer towards the Gryffindor table, she would have noticed James' eyes fall completely on her. She would have seen him notice her hand held by Remus' at the table, and seen the laughter from James face disappear in almost an instant. If only she had kept looking instead of turning her head back, she would have seen him quickly leave the Great Hall.

If only she had.

* * *

**_A/N: Sorry for the wait between chapters, I had a few things going on - but I was very excited to write this chapter (Hogsmeade!). But, seeing as how I waited so long, I decided to split it up into 2 parts, so those who were waiting for an update can see what I've got so far for it :) Enjoy and thanks for the views and reviews as always! :)_**


	15. Chapter 15: Hogsmeade Part 2: Seeing Red

**Chapter 15: Hogsmeade Part 2 - Seeing Red**

* * * *

Remus had never hated the library more than today of all days. Lily was going off to Hogsmeade with her friends, and he was stuck in detention with Snape, cleaning the forgotten shelves filled with books swimming in dust for Madam Barnes – half of the titles he couldn't even pronounce.

He wouldn't normally have loathed it so much but after what Snape had said to Lily, it took him a great amount of self-control not to hex the old, worn pants off of him anytime he caught a glimpse of him in the hallways or in class. They ignored each other throughout most of their detentions, but even Snape seemed particularly antsy during this one – as if he could read Remus' mind, full of ways to slowly and painfully torture him.

"Okay, today we'll start in the restricted section!" said Madam Barnes excitedly in front of the two boys who were standing nearly 10 feet away from each other, trying not to make eye contact. She was a little over enthusiastic about having help cleaning her library, she didn't even mind that it took the destruction of large, old shelf to get it to be this way.

"Am I late?" said a voice from behind them, as she turned to face Sirius, who had just entered the library, fumbling with his bag and a bit out of breath.

"Just getting started, dear," said Madam Barnes gently, acknowledging his entrance. Sirius had felt terrible that Remus had to break one of Madam Barnes' old shelves to help him with their lie, and what made him feel worse is that she was still as sweet to him as ever.

"What's _he _doing here?" interrupted Snape, his eyes glowering on Sirius like he was some sort of unwanted parasite; to Snape, that's just what he was – now along with Remus and James.

"How about you keep your giant nose out of my business, _Snivelly_?" replied Sirius cruelly, and shot Remus a smirk. Remus returned the smile and chuckled while Snape looked ferocious.

"Now now boys, we'll be having none of that," said Madam Barnes sternly, "Mr. Snape, why don't you go work on reorganizing the transfiguration system while Mr. Lupin & Mr. Black start on the restricted section for now."

Snape snatched a list of books from Madam Barnes and stormed off to work on his section, while Sirius and Remus shrugged at one another as the nimble old librarian led them to a dark area in the back of the library, set off with a rope. Madam Barnes handed them each a bucket of cleaning supplies and pulled out a cart of unsorted books as she pushed them past the rope with a smile.

"Now just remember to stay away from the book that screams when opened," she said before trotting away, "It's really quite a nuisance."

Sirius and Remus exchanged uncertain looks as they slowly moved forward into the darkness.

* * *

James laid on his bed, a parchment in his hand and a quill tapping in steady beats against the scratchy paper surface. He was trying to write out an essay on magical beasts for class, but couldn't keep his train of thought. He would start something, and then often go off into a tangent.

_Dragons are extremely hard to kill because of the ancient magic that imbues their thick hides…One type of dragon is the Common Welsh Green... Green is the color of Lily's eyes…_

James shook his head vigorously and cleared his throat.

"Get it together, Potter," he said to himself quietly, paging through a book for a fresh start.

_Dragons, dragons… focus on dragons… Antipodean Opaleye. Absolutely fierce, iridescent and pearly scales, feeds on sheep and has a vivid red flame… Red like Lily's hair…_

James groaned and buried his face into a nearby pillow. He couldn't help thinking about Lily, and he couldn't comprehend all the new feelings wreaking havoc on him lately. He used to ignore the very existence of her until recently, and he didn't know why.

He just wanted to continue hating Remus and his precious little Lily and go back to the way things were when they were normal, when all he cared about was the next great prank he and Sirius would pull on their unsuspecting victims, and blowing off classes without a care in the world – except when of course he'd get that dirty little look from his professors, causing him to copy off of a friend's paper.

"Oi, Potter?" came a voice from the doorframe. James looked up, adjusting his glasses to see Henry Abbott standing there with a smile plastered across his face, "You going to Hogsmeade?"

James smirked before replying, "I'm flattered Abbott, but you're not really my type." He grinned his trademark cheeky grin while Abbott rolled his eyes.

"Bugger off," he mumbled under his breath, "Last time I do anyone favors…" James perked up at Abbott's words and yelled for him to stop before Abbott left the room.

"Wait, what do you mean favor?" James asked curiously.

Abbott smiled slyly before answering, "Oh nothing, you probably don't want to hear it…"

"Talk," James said more sternly, "Unless you want to play our next match in frilly knickers."

Abbott furrowed his brows, "First of all, I don't even want to know how you'd pull something like that off, and secondly…" he paused and went back to smiling, "I don't think I like your attitude."

"Come off it," said James sighing, "Tell me and… and… I'll buy you something at the quidditch shop."

Abbott smiled victoriously, "That's better. A girl wanted me to ask you about Hogsmeade. She's waiting down in the common room." Abbott turned to leave and before he did, he shouted back, "Oh and I wear a size 5 quidditch glove – oh and make sure it's the Italian leather, the imitation ones just don't cut it."

He left the room before James could ask who the girl was, and planned on putting a serious jinx on whatever he got Abbott at the quidditch shop as revenge. He picked himself off of his bed and got his things ready for Hogsmeade. He took one look in the mirror and messed up his hair roughly with his hand; he had come to the conclusion that the messy hair was a look girls went for – at least the girls who weren't Emily Dunnwick.

With a deep breath, James tore out of the room and bounded down the steps to the Gryffindor common room.

Upon entering, he noticed it was filled with students, all getting ready to take their trip to the village, and his eyes anxiously scanned the room looking for one person in particular.

"James?" came a soft female voice from behind him. James smiled and turned around immediately. He was expecting to be standing in front of Lily, but was surprised to be face to face with her friend, Samantha.

"Oh, err, hi Samantha," said James, though he couldn't hide the disappointment in his face.

"Hi," said Samantha brightly, "Henry told me you might come down – I told him to ask you if you were going to Hogsmeade…"

The excited feeling James had in his stomach as he came down the steps now completely disappeared, "Oh…"

"Yes, well are you?" she asked hopefully, her large brown eyes meeting his hazel ones.

James looked down and began shuffling his feet awkwardly, "I dunno, I've got a paper to write for class and… well… I'm kind of tired…"

James' mind started racing to find excuses to let down Samantha lightly. He didn't want to upset her, even though it was pretty obvious she hadn't been the one James had hoped was asking about him.

Samantha's face fell slightly, and she now too felt disappointed.

"Oh, well I guess that makes sense," said Samantha slowly, "Though I'm kind of surprised – I didn't really take you for one that does their homework so early…"

James let out a nervous laugh and adjusted his collar, "Yeah well, with NEWTs coming up I figured now or never, right?"

"Hmm," Samantha said, nodding her head gently, "I suppose so."

They together stood in silence while people started filing out of the room, leaving for Hogsmeade, both of them looking awkwardly at the ground.

"So you're sure then? You don't want to go at all?" Samantha asked one last time, inching closer to him, causing James to shove his hands in his pockets and take a large step back.

"Yeah," he said nodding, "So much work and all…"

"Right, well, good luck then," said Samantha as she turned and walked out of the common room, letting James exhale deeply in relief.

He had wished so much that it wasn't Samantha who asked him, but a particular red head who had apparently forgotten all about Hogsmeade. Reluctantly, James slumped back up the stairs and flopped onto his bed, too disappointed to do anything.

*

Samantha went back out the fat lady's portrait and into the hall outside the common room, a frown across her face. She found her friend, leaning against the wall and biting her nails nervously, looking like she was waiting for something. Upon seeing Samantha, her friend waved her over excitedly, but her face dropped when she saw the frown Samantha bore.

"Sam! So? Did you ask him? What did he say?" asked Lily, hoping the frown was about something else entirely.

Samantha shrugged and shook her head, "Sorry Lils, he said he was too busy to go."

"Oh," was all Lily said, let down by Samantha's answer.

"If I'm being honest Lily," began Samantha, a little hesitant at first, "I don't see why you're all that interested in him… I mean it's _him_… James Potter… you never really liked him – why the sudden change of heart?"

Lily looked sheepishly away from her friend and felt her cheeks starting to blush, "I don't really like him, I mean, he was nice in the library and all that… and maybe I was wrong about him is all, I was thinking we could possibly, maybe, be friends?"

Samantha raised her eyebrow at Lily and crossed her arms, "Really? Then why did I have to ask him out for you if you don't 'really like him', hmm?"

"Because! Well… I don't know…" started Lily, now furiously blushing.

"So what does this mean for you and Remus?" asked Samantha, more delicately.

Lily just shrugged and sighed, "I don't know that either."

"Well, for a head girl, you sure don't know a lot of things," joked Samantha, trying to lighten her friend's mood. Lily let a small smile escape her lips and she nudged Samantha playfully.

"Hey, I know a lot of things," started Lily, "Just not… boys."

"That's because boys are rubbish," laughed Samantha, "Haven't you learned that by now?"

"I am really starting too," Lily replied with a chuckle, "I guess this means I'll get an early start on my paper too."

Samantha frowned at Lily, "Aww, why? Come out with us to Hogsmeade, just the girls and no idiot boys to ruin it." She flashed her best and most coercive smile at Lily, but Lily shook her head.

"No, it's okay," said Lily, walking towards the common room, "I'm not in the mood, you all go out and have fun."

Samantha nodded and yelled out to Lily before she entered through the portrait hole, "I still think you should have asked him, he probably thought _I_ was trying to ask him out to Hogsmeade instead of you!"

"You?" Lily laughed, "Oh come on Sam, he's not _that_ daft."

The girls laughed as they parted ways and Lily waved as she walked through the entrance and made her way back up to her room.

* * *

Hours went by and James finally finished a halfway decent paper, his mood somewhat spoilt by the recent common room fiasco. He imagined the school was nearly empty, especially most all in his year, and lugged himself down the stairs to the common room, already bored out of his mind. Even the company of Peter would be appreciated now – hissy fit and all – though he was mysteriously gone as well; James most likely thought at Hogsmeade.

James entered the common room and saw it was deserted, except with one lone figure sitting by the fireplace. James chuckled to himself thinking that there was someone who was just as worse off as him, and inched closer to take a look at who it was.

He had taken no more than two steps when he felt his stomach do a strange leap and he stopped instantly in his tracks. He stood paralyzed, his eyes staring wildly at the person sitting by the fire, the orange flames dancing off of their dark red hair.

It was Lily.

* * *

_"You are __truly the most arrogant, self-centered, dimwitted…"_

_James watched boredly, barely listening as a fuming red haired 5th year named Lily Evans was going on one of her bi-weekly descriptive rants of what James called 'James Potter in 30 words or Less'. After enduring nearly three years of her ranting, he had found it nearly comical that she hadn't been able to find more interesting words to describe him and stuck to mostly the 'routine' words of 'arrogant', 'egotistical' and 'self-centered' for the bulk of it._

"…Care about nothing but yourself! Not even your own house, just about trying to rise a laugh out of everyone at some poor soul's expense-"

_"Is this going to take much longer? Because I'm really running late – I was supposed to meet my friends half past 4…" sighed James interrupting Lily, as he plopped down on the common room couch. A few others had stopped to listen to Lily give it out to James, but those who knew them better moved along, as it really was nothing new._

_Wrong move._

_This nearly made Lily's eyes bulge out of her head as she turned a lovely shade of purple, that James thought no person was ever capable of turning. He smirked proudly, clearly getting the reaction he had hoped for._

_"Do you even realize… Your friends… At a time like this… Not even listening…" Lily couldn't put her thoughts into one cohesive sentence, she was so angry, and took a deep breath before finally sputtering out, "I'm a prefect now, Potter! You have to listen to what I say!"_

_James raised an eyebrow at Lily and stood up again slowly, "My, my, my, looks like someone is letting that shiny little badge get to their head, aren't they?"_

_"What are you talking about?" Lily said through clenched teeth, her hands balling up into fists at her side dangerously, "I'm only doing my job, and right now, that's teaching you a bloody lesson! That poor second year-"_

_"What? You're talking about that Slytherin who was giving me attitude earlier?" said James frowning, "That little tosspot had it coming!"_

_"Just because someone doesn't like you doesn't mean you have the right to give them a bat bogey hex and scare the knickers off of him, Potter!" said Lily sternly, "Trust me – you'd get tired with all the hexes you'd have to do!"_

_"Pshh, don't know what you're talking about," said James dismissively, waving his hand, "Everyone loves James Potter. Those who don't are clearly jealous."_

_"Of what? Your stupid haircut?" asked Lily crossing her arms, "Or maybe it's the immense amount of humility you have," her sarcasm ripping though James like a knife._

_"Name anyone that doesn't like me and I'll tell you the reason in a heartbeat," challenged James confidently, looking up at Lily._

_Lily didn't have to think for even a second, "Remus."_

_James chortled with laughter, "Ha! Good one. Lupin is obviously threatened by my standing in the school amongst all the students, especially the girls, in our year… jealousy – like I said."_

_Lily's expression went from hard to amused as she nearly collapsed from bouts of laughter._

_"Remus… jealous… of you… oh that's hysterical…" Lily gasped between laughs, trying to catch her breath. James was not too thrilled._

_"Laugh if you want to, but you'll see I'm speaking the truth," said James, crossing his arms._

_"Alright, he's jealous of your charm," said Lily, still giggling as if she's said the most ridiculous thing in the world, "What about me?"_

_James smiled as he looked at Lily, "Again, another one that's so obvious."_

_Lily stopped laughing and raised an eyebrow at James, "Oh really? Do please… enlighten me."_

_James shrugged and looked at Lily with doey eyes, "You are clearly in love with me."_

_Lily rolled her eyes at James, "Right. Clearly."_

_"You are, Evans," said James puffing out his chest, "It's nothing to be ashamed of really, I can't blame you. Most girls will empathize with you."_

_"You really are thick and full of yourself… not a clever combination, Potter," said Lily tapping her foot, "Besides I would never date anyone like you." She made a repulsed face, and James wasted no time in returning the look._

_"Just because I said you were in love with me doesn't mean I fancy you, Evans," replied James coldly, "You're about as much fun as a wet sock."_

_"Yeah well, I wouldn't hold my breath if you're waiting for me to declare my love for you," said Lily harshly, "Or on second thought, please do – it's one way to get rid of a nuisance like you!"_

_With that Lily spun around, her hair whipping behind her fiercely as she did and stormed out of the room, leaving James to wallow in his thoughts._

* * *

James felt slightly tingly as he moved closer to Lily, who looked distracted as she stared into the flames and for a moment, James thought she might have been talking to someone through it. But when nothing but silence filled the room up, James cleared his throat slightly to get her attention.

Lily whipped her head to the side, taking in James as he moved over to the couch she was sitting on.

"James…" began Lily, a bit of nervousness etched in her voice, "What are you doing here?"

James shrugged and sat down on the couch in a quick movement, "Oh I just finished a paper and got bored sitting alone up in my room… why aren't you at Hogsmeade?"

Lily looked down at the floor while she answered him softly, "I didn't really feel up to it."

"Without Remus?" asked James bitterly.

Lily looked up at James, a little bit of her hotheadedness starting to rise, "Like I said before James, I can do things without him – like go to Hogsmeade – I don't need anyone's permission."

"I didn't say you did, calm down Lily," said James, putting his hands up in the air, "I just asked because you were seeing him is all…"

"Oh…" said Lily slightly embarrassed, "Well, no that's not the reason. What about you? Won't Emma be upset?"

"Emma?" asked James confused, scratching his head, "You mean Emily?" Lily knew what her name was, but pretended to play 'blissfully unaware' anyway.

"Right, her," she said looking away.

"Emily and I have been over for ages," said James with a laugh, messing up his hair as he did. It was almost a compulsive reaction at the mere mention of Emily.

"Really? Well I'd say I'm sorry," started Lily, looking at the smiling James in confusion, "But you seem to be taking it well."

"Well, she wasn't much fun anyways," said James, "Always so serious…"

"I know what you mean," said Lily slowly, "She never had much of a sense of humor. She's never even held a dungbomb in her hands."

James raised an eyebrow at Lily and leaned back on the couch, "And _you_ have?"

Lily scoffed at James and laughed, "Don't you always wonder why the boys' dormitory stinks particularly bad once a month, or do you all just expect it to be that filthy?" Lily laughed as James stared wide-eyed at Lily, his jaw dropping slightly.

"No way…" James said in a mixture of awe and newfound adornment, "That was you?"

Lily kept laughing, James' astounded expression making her laugh even more, "Well I can't take full credit, I have help. Don't act so surprised! I'm not always a 'wet sock' you know…"

James blushed fiercely as he looked down at his feet, "Oh you remember that."

Lily nodded and grinned, "I remember a lot of stupid things we've said."

"Well it _was_ stupid of me to say," said James looking at Lily softly, "I was a real git back then."

"Back then?" laughed Lily as James' face fell. Lily noticed this and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "Aww, I was only teasing, James."

"Teasing?" asked James curiously, "Who are you and what have you done with Lily Evans?"

Lily smiled at James and scooted a bit closer to him, "I'm right here, where I've always been. Just seemed to take you long to notice, is all."

James nervously swallowed as could almost feel her warm breath on his face, "Trust me… I've noticed, Lily."

He inched his face closer to Lily as she did the same, both their lips practically throbbing to connect with each other. Feeling reckless, Lily closed her eyes and pushed herself forward, as the inches between them seemed like several thousand kilometers, as everything seemed to happen at an achingly slow pace.

Just as James' lips were about to gently touch Lily's, a loud noise came from the portrait hole as a figure stumbled into the room causing both James and Lily to jump back from each other.

And there stood Sirius Black to ruin the tender moment.

There was no question about it. James was going to strangle him.

* * *

_A/N:__ My apologies for the long wait on this chapter! I've been somewhat busy, but no worries, I have no plans to abandon this (to those who may worry) - in fact I've already written an ending (much later of course), just have to sort out some things in between :) In lieu of Valentine's Day (to those of you who hate it, I again apologize) I thought it would be the perfect time to sizzle it up with a little romance. But to those of us who are less than enthusiastic about it (giggle), I award you with a "Sirius Black Ruins the Day!" moment! Ahh I always liked that guy - hehe :) Enjoy and thanks to those who keep on reviewing and viewing! ~Des_


	16. Chapter 16: Sparks and Lies

**Chapter 16: Sparks and Lies**

* * * *

Sirius walked into the common room, worn out from his detention and in much need for some entertainment. Little did he know that when he entered the portrait hole, he was going to get more than what he bargained for, making eye contact with an irate looking James and a bashful looking Lily.

"Umm… hi?" said Sirius, offering a small waves and looking between them, "Did I interrupt something?"

"No, I was just leaving," said Lily quickly, standing up in an instant. Without looking back at James, she hurried to the portrait hole and exited the common room, leaving just the two boys.

James watched her every movement silently as she left, and turned to face Sirius, who swallowed deeply in nervousness.

"So I reckon you two weren't talking about quidditch," Sirius said with a nervous laugh, ruffling his hair with one hand. His other hand, unbeknownst to James, was carefully near his pocket that held his wand – ready for protection in case James felt the urge to send something nasty his way.

James maintained an expressionless face, fighting with himself on whether or not to tell Sirius about what just happened or not.

"What happened in here?" asked Sirius, taking James' silence as a cue to press on.

James sighed and threw himself backwards onto the couch. He covered his face with his hands and groaned, "Nothing good, I can tell you that."

* * *

Detention for Remus didn't nearly go as badly as he had thought. While he hadn't considered himself friends with Sirius, he was far better company that Snape, and the two had surprisingly spent a good portion of the time joking and laughing – you would think they were old friends. It was apparent that things were definitely taking a large shift in their worlds, and Remus was both anxious at the new prospects and a little saddened it hadn't happened sooner.

After being relieved from Madam Barnes, Remus made his way to his common room through the empty hallways.

He spotted Lily walking fast towards the doors leading outside the castle and to the grounds behind. Noting the weather was chill this November evening, and that snow had begun to lightly fall, he wondered why she was in such a hurry to be out in those conditions. He had also wondered why she wasn't at Hogsmeade like most of the school at the present time.

Remus watched Lily quizzically for a moment before slinking along behind her, thinking to pleasantly surprise her when she finally stopped somewhere.

Lily walked out the doors and trudged through the grounds to a nearby bench and sat down. The surrounding trees and ground were covered in snow, and it was an eerie scene, as there was hardly a sound in the air.

But the silence wasn't a bad thing for Lily, as she needed it to think properly – the last few moments with James replaying in her head over and over again.

She had nearly kissed him.

She had never been happier and angrier to see Sirius, when he interrupted them on the couch – and dealing with these complicated emotions wasn't getting any easier.

Lily took a seat on the bench and hid her face in her hands. On the one hand, she had one of her best friends, sweet, loving & intelligent Remus, who had been her boyfriend for nearly a year now. On the other hand, there was James Potter – arrogant, pigheaded & overly confident – it seemed like no contest.

But then she thought about the other side of James she had seen recently, the kinder, noble and caring James – the side of James that rarely saw the light of day. The side of James that Lily was smitten by.

The side of James that Lily was sort of in love with.

"No, it's impossible!" Lily said out loud to herself, as if actually speaking the words would make it untrue. But there was no denying that there was something – a spark of sorts – with James that she had never had with Remus. Up until now, she had always rolled her eyes when people spoke about said 'spark', thinking it was all just rubbish invented by people who didn't know anything about true love. She had always deemed it as being 'young love' or infatuation, not honest to god love.

Maybe she was only infatuated with James. Or maybe, she was just wrong.

"What's impossible?" said a voice behind Lily, causing her to nearly fall from the bench in shock.

"Sorry!" said Remus, gently placing a hand on her shoulder, "I didn't mean to startle you."

Lily took a breath and shook her head lightly, "No… it's alright." She looked at Remus with troubled eyes, and it took less than an instant for Remus to know something was wrong.

"What's wrong, Lils?" asked Remus slowly, taking a seat beside her, "You didn't go to Hogsmeade?"

Lily looked down and shrugged, "Nothing's wrong, I just didn't feel like going is all."

Remus hated seeing Lily like this, but even worse when he couldn't do anything to make her feel better.

"Come on, talk to me," said Remus, taking one of her hands into his own.

Lily looked into Remus' eyes and smiled, "I'm ok. Really."

Remus nodded curtly and looked across the grounds, taking in the scenery, while thinking deeply.

"I'm sorry about ruining your Hogsmeade weekend," Remus started, "I hope it's not because of me you didn't go…"

Lily crossed her arms somewhat defensively, "No, that's not the reason – I could have went if I wanted to, but I just didn't want to. There's nothing else – no other reason."

The words spilled out of her faster than she could think, and Lily could feel her face grow hot. She didn't know how she sounded to Remus. She knew she was lying to herself and to him – but she hoped that he wouldn't realize it. She hated lying to him, but couldn't bear to see him hurt.

Remus sighed and put a warm hand up to her now chilled cheek, "Alright, Lils." He smiled warmly, "I believe you."

Lily felt like she was ripping apart on the inside, but returned the smile nonetheless, as Remus leaned forward and embraced her. Her head was on his shoulder and she felt a single tear roll down her face. Quickly, she wiped it away and the two just sat there in silence, not sure what to do next.

* * *

Sirius sat on the floor across from James in the common room; his jaw was dropped nearly the entire time, as he watched James regale his tale of what had happened earlier to him.

Finally as James had wrapped up his story, up to the very point of Sirius' untimely entrance and Lily's hasty exit, Sirius groaned and looked at James apologetically.

"Sorry mate," was all he could muster up to James, while James just shrugged.

"You didn't know," said James waving a hand at Sirius, "But what am I gonna do?"

"I never thought I'd see the day," started Sirius slowly…

* * *

"_What about that one there?" asked James, elbowing Sirius playfully, as he gestured to a rather frazzled looking Hufflepuff girl with slick straight blonde hair and bright blue eyes, "She's a looker, that one?"_

_Sirius looked over at the girl and nodded in agreement at James. The boys were in their 3__rd__ year, and as many young teenage boys in their year, had just started noticing girls._

"_Yeah she's alright," said Sirius softly as they sat in the Great Hall, scoping out possible girlfriends from their table, laughing and joking as they did._

"_But?" asked James raising an eyebrow at Sirius._

"_But…" started Sirius slowly, and scrunched up his nose, "She seems too… nice."_

_James sighed exasperatedly and took a giant helping of Yorkshire pudding and plopped it onto his plate, "Is there anyone you fancy?"_

"_Better question is there anyone who doesn't fancy him?" said Peter jokingly, who was sitting on the other side of Sirius._

"_Yeah, right?" said James, as he stuffed a large spoonful of pudding in his mouth._

_Sirius scoffed and stared at James with a smile, "You're one to talk – you know how many hot girls I get coming up to me and asking about you? It's not right!"_

_James laughed and puffed his chest out a little, almost instinctively._

"_Well, I reckon it's got to do with my rugged good looks," said James with a wink, pretending to pose for a picture._

"_And the fact that you made the quidditch team will probably help you," said Peter, between bites of roast beef, "Before you know it, you'll be as popular as Remus Lupin."_

_Peter laughed, but stopped as the other two looked at him with very serious eyes, especially James. Peter gulped slightly, realizing that it might not have been the best thing to say at the moment._

"_Lupin," James whispered menacingly, as he glared over to the Ravenclaw table, seeing that Remus had quite a few people around him as always, and sneered as he now noticed most of them were girls._

_There was an awkward silence that passed as James still stared silently at Remus, while Sirius and Peter exchanged weary looks._

"_I don't get why they're all over him," huffed Sirius, "Look at him – he's nothing special."_

"_Well, he's already made news making the quidditch team in his 2__nd__ year – 2__nd__ year! That's nearly unheard of! And he's already fantastic. And he's one of the smartest in the school, course that goes without saying – he is a Ravenclaw," said Peter matter-of-factly, "And don't forget, he's a pretty nice guy, but still maintains kind of mystery about him…_

_Peter's voice trailed off as Sirius started at him wearing a comical expression._

"_Gee Peter, were you planning on proposing tonight?" asked Sirius, to which James chuckled, "You didn't even tell us you'd bought a ring!"_

_Peter's cheeks flushed as his two friends sat laughing at him and mumbled a reply, "I was just saying…"_

"_Well, on the plus side – Emily Dunnwick was one of the girls that asked me about you," said Sirius nudging James, "Seemed really interested."_

"_Emily? Really?" asked James with wide eyes as Sirius nodded, a bit gravely. He seemed a little less than enthusiastic about Emily, but James ignored it full force._

"_See? I bet in no time you'll be just as popular with girls as Remus!" said Peter happily, causing Sirius to bring his palm to his forehead._

"_Oi, Peter! Have another sausage, eh?" said Sirius, picking up a sausage and shoving it into Peter's mouth. He turned back to James who looked grim again and gave him a reassuring look._

"_Lupin's rubbish mate, don't worry about him," said Sirius as James sighed._

"_Yeah, I know, you're supposed to say that," said James, but suddenly sat upright, "But I promise you, there'll come a time when I'll have everything he does," and he pointed his spoon at Remus, "_and_ more!"_

"_Mmhmm," replied Sirius, as he took a large sip of his pumpkin juice and avoided eye contact with James._

_Being supportive to a friend was one thing, but agreeing with him when he was speaking 'crazy', was another thing all together._

* * *

"See the day what?" asked James scratching his head.

"Just, well, that you – I mean – Lily is one thing, but Remus is… and," Sirius was tripping over his words, thinking hard on how to properly phrase what he was going to say.

"That Lily and I never used to get along, and she was dating Remus, and now there might be something between us?" James asked, tilting his head at his friend, "Yeah, trust me. I didn't see it coming either."

"Wow," Sirius replied and laid out on the floor, stretching his body, "So what are you going to do?"

James thudded his head on the back of the couch a few times before looking down at Sirius.

"I don't know," said James, "Nothing."

Sirius rolled to face him and propped himself up with an elbow, "Nothing? Are you sure? I mean, what if Lily's the-"

"Whoa, before you get ahead of yourself there, let me stop you," said James sternly, "We _almost_ kissed. That's all. She probably doesn't even fancy me. Probably just all 'girl hormonal' or whatever-"

"Umm… 'Girl hormonal'?" asked Sirius, holding back a laugh, "Do I even want to know?"

"I'll tell you when you're older," replied James sarcastically, "But not the point. The point is that whatever _happened_ between Lily and I didn't really happen, and she's with Remus, and I'm with… well… no one, but it's not Lily. End of story."

They sat quietly for a moment; the crackling flames of the nearby fireplace seemed to be uncharacteristically loud. Finally, Sirius spoke up.

"Is that what you want?" asked Sirius softly, staring up at the ceiling, "To just be nothing with Lily?"

"Yes," replied James sternly and almost immediately.

"Well, then," said Sirius, "Glad we got that all sorted."

Sirius picked himself off the floor and yawned. Dinner wouldn't be served until later, and he suspected most of the students would begin returning from Hogsmeade now. He decided to head off into their dorm to catch up on some work or take a nape – whichever came first.

"I'm going up to the room," said Sirius, as he walked to the stairwell to the boys' dorm, "You staying down here?"

"Yeah, just for a bit," said James, staring into the flames of the fireplace as they danced with one another.

"Alright."

Sirius walked a few steps, and turned his head one last time at James, "Oh, and James?"

"Hmm?" replied James, his eyes still glued to the fire.

"You're a terrible liar."

* * *

The dark shrouded figure loomed near Peter, who sat nervously in a chair. He was dripping of fear, and it wasn't so hard to tell – Peter was scared out his mind. The whole way to the dark abandoned building in Hogsmeade, Peter was debating on whether this had been a good idea or not.

All the thoughts of being killed brutally and his fear of death and of dying alone had pushed him over the edge, and he had finally snapped.

He was meeting Voldemort, and there was no turning back.

"So I hear that you are interested in pledging your allegiance with me," hissed the man in the cloak as he circled around Peter, "A wise choice, indeed.

"Y-yes, y-your Excellency," stammered Peter, not knowing how to address the intimidating man.

"I, as you may already know, am the Dark Lord Voldemort, and you may call me as such," said the man, and grabbed onto the Peter's chair firmly, tilting him back a little, "BUT… only if I deem you worthy."

"Y-yes, o-of course!" yelled Peter, holding onto his chair with both hands.

Voldemort let go of the chair abruptly, and stood in front of Peter, "Tell me. Why are you here?"

Peter sat confused for a moment, but thought it best not to leave the Dark Lord waiting for an answer.

"Because I-I believe that y-you, the D-Dark Lord, are the most powerful wizard of our t-time… possibly all time – and I w-want to join you in your b-battle for restoring the wizarding world to the w-way it should b-be," Peter choked out.

"And what way is that?" the man asked, somewhat skeptically of the frightened boy sitting before him.

"Pure bloods in power, no more mug- err, _mudbloods_ in Hogwarts," said Peter, looking at his feet, "And your graciousness at the most high level of wizarding office."

Voldemort looked at Peter and turned to face out the window, "You seem to have all the right answers, yet, there is something I don't quite… trust."

He whipped around and drew a wand, pointing it at Peter, "And trust is something I value deeply in a servant."

Peter's eyes widened, and he fell to his knees, "Please! Please, let me prove myself! I'll do anything – anything you ask! I'll do anything…" Peter begged and was breaking into frightened cries.

"ENOUGH!" said Voldemort loudly, causing Peter to squeak, as he pressed his hands over his mouth.

"Perhaps there is a way in which you will be useful," said Voldemort slowly, his face contorting into a wicked smile, "If you don't manage to blunder it up."

"I promise my Lord, anything," said Peter, he couldn't even recognize his own voice, "I won't let you down, I swear it!"

Voldemort held up a hand, and Peter was again silenced instantly, beads of sweat and tears dripping from his round face.

"You will be an informant," Voldemort said quietly, "A spy. Aside from young Regulus Black who has told me of your interest, no one else must know, and you will report to me any information I seek."

Peter nodded, "Yes sir, I will sir."

"Be warned Pettigrew, if they find you're working for me, especially Dumbledore, you will be of no use to me," said Voldemort coldly, "And must suffer those consequences."

"Yes sir, of course my Lord," said Peter, bowing down, "I will not tell a soul."

"I'm glad we understand each other, Pettigrew," said Voldemort, still smiling, "Now, off with you. And remember, I'll know if you've been deceiving me."

Peter nodded and quickly exited the room. He was practically drenched from the encounter with Voldemort; it had looked as if he had been shoved into the Lake.

He snuck out of the gloomy building, and headed back towards the castle – not needing, or wanting – to stop at Hogsmeade. He was only interested in one thing and that was to get back undetected and unharmed.

He felt the cold air sting him, and it felt even more brutal as he was wet. Peter knew he needed a change of clothes, and ironically for him – it happened to coincide with a change in character.

* * *

**_A/N: Sorry for the delay as always, I tried uploading last night and had login problems :P I'm going to try and move the next few chapters along swiftly, so we can finally come to our conclusion! (I say this, but who knows how many little mini stories will develop!) Any predictions? I'd love to hear 'em :) Thanks again for the reviews._**


	17. Chapter 17: An Order of Sorts

**Chapter 17: An Order of Sorts**

********************

It was nearing January as the bitter cold of winter stung at all of the students these days unwelcomingly. James had opted to stay at Hogwarts with Sirius during the Christmas break, and was nearly as surprised when Lily had also decided to skip family festivities in favor of staying at the school. Although, it's not much of a surprise in retrospect, as most of the 7th year students feel like spending as much time as they can with their friends before graduating and going their separate ways.

James sighed as he lay on his four-poster bed, thinking about all the memories he'd collected during his 7 years at Hogwarts. Admittedly, most of them were of him just being the typical rowdy teenage boy, wreaking unsuspecting havoc upon the castle dwellers with his best mates.

But now, in just one year, things had changed so much. His former acquaintances were becoming enemies, his rivals becoming near friends, and his friends – or rather, one friend in particular – was becoming a stranger.

Peter had popped into his mind lately, and ever since his blow up at Sirius and James, which he curtly apologized for numerous times – James noticed that he had this unwavering sense of fear that clung to him, much like wet fabric onto bare skin – and it irked him.

Even Sirius' patience with his friend was wearing thin, and would constantly refer to Peter as 'the Gryffie screw-up' or 'blubbering idiot' in most conversations.

A burst of quick knocks came from the door, and James peered his head up to find Henry Abbott at the door, covered in a good amount of snow and looking like he'd just been in a very enthralling snowball fight on the grounds.

"You coming to the game tonight, mate?" asked Abbott, not coming all the way inside the room.

James propped himself up on his elbows and let out a yawn, "Probably – wouldn't want to miss seeing Slytherin get it handed to 'em by Rav..."

Abbott laughed and crossed his arms, "Slytherin beat Ravenclaw? You're mental – I've put 12 galleons on Sly to take it tonight!"

James cocked an eyebrow at Abbott and snorted, "You're joking, right? Slytherin win? That'd be an upset of the season."

"Naw I think the upset of the season was when you finally caught a snitch in our game with Ravenclaw few months back," laughed Abbott, 'A lot of us still think you put something in Lupin's pumpkin juice that morning!"

James guffawed and stood up, "Hey! I'll have you know I'm a great seeker!"

"Yeah well…" said Abbott softly, "You lost me 20 galleons that night…"

James' jaw dropped as he stared accusingly at Abbott, who looked a little sheepish.

"You bet against your own team?!" yelled James, his voice nearly shrieking, "What were you thinking?"

"Well, not exactly," said Abbott, looking at the ground, "I didn't bet that we'd lose per say… I just bet that you wouldn't catch the snitch."

An awkward silence passed between them, until James finally spoke up.

"Great to know you're so confident in your teammates," said James sardonically, and sat back down on the end of his bed.

"Aww, come on Jamsie," said Abbott laughing, as he strode up to James and roughed his hair a bit, much to James' annoyance, "I lost the gold, you caught the snitch and proved me wrong – call it even?"

James glared at him and didn't speak, which caused Abbott to slowly back away, "Fine, fine. But you never did buy me those gloves you promised me… so I'd really say you're the meatball in all of this."

Abbott left the room leaving James sitting on his bed, scratching his head for a number of reasons – 1.) If he was really that bad a seeker his own team was betting against him and 2). Did he just get called a 'meatball'?

Shrugging to himself, he left the room, his stomach growling now at the sudden mention of food, as he made his way down to the Great Hall for lunch. However, Sirius interlined him before he reached the doors bearing a very worried look on his face.

"Sirius?" asked James concerned, "What's wrong?"

"James!" said Sirius, uncertainty in his voice, "McGonagall and Dumbledore have been looking for you…"

James looked wide-eyed at Sirius, but didn't speak, hoping that Sirius would continue with more information.

Sirius caught his breath, and looked at James with sad eyes.

"James… it's your father. He…he… had a heart attack."

* * *

The past few months had been slightly strange for Lily Evans. She had initially avoided James since their encounter in the common room, but having so many classes together – she couldn't avoid him forever.

And as if the Gods were playing a cruel joke on her – which Lily often thought these days – they had been paired up in their potions class for an exercise. The first few minutes were spent blushing and awkward pauses, along with broken sentences as they worked, but it proved to be a great tension breaker, as they left the class happily laughing and joking with one another, as if everything was alright again.

Remus watched silently at the two, and felt a strong feeling in his gut that something was wrong. He hadn't seen Lily laugh like that in a long time, and God knew he tried to make her laugh like that these days. He began feeling jealous, and then suspicious of James, but then thought he was taking things too far. There was no possible way that James and Lily would be interested in each other – Lily always talked about how much James annoyed her. She always talked about how James was so arrogant. She talked about how James was so immature.

Then it hit him, like a rogue bludger to the head. She_ always_ talked about James lately.

Chalking it up to extreme paranoia on his part, Remus tried to laugh it off.

But that potion class was weeks ago, and now, as he sat down at the Great Hall in his quidditch robes, having lunch with his team before their match, he still couldn't shake it from his mind.

"Remus?" asked Lily; she stood next to him at the Ravenclaw table, looking slightly confused.

"Hmm?" asked Remus meeting her eyes, "Lily? Did you say something?"

Lily smiled and lovingly placed a warm hand on his shoulder, "I just wanted to wish you good luck before the match."

"Oh yeah… thanks," said Remus smiling, as he patted her hand gently with one hand, and then turned to face his food.

Lily's smiled faltered slightly as she nodded at Remus and went back to her own table, sitting down to eat with her friends. Occasionally she glanced back at Remus, but never once did he look back at her.

Lily's mind began to wander…

* * *

_Lily and Remus say quietly in at a table in Madam Puddifoot's, both of them were nervously looking around – and had apparently run out of things to talk about. It was their sixth year, and most importantly – it was their first date._

"_So… how about that potions essay?" said Remus casually and Lily smirked in response._

"_Are we really going to talk about potions?" laughed Lily, "We don't even talk about it normally."_

"_I know, I know," said Remus, feelings his palms beginning to sweat, "I'm just… nervous I guess."_

_Lily placed her hands on the table and looked at them, "I know… it's strange, isn't it? Just a few days ago we were talking and acting all… well… _normal…_"_

"_Yeah," said Remus, looking around at the emptying shop, "Do you want to head back to the castle?"_

_Lily nodded as Remus left some money on the table for their date – which he had to practically pry Lily away from as she tried to pay for half._

"_I asked you, it's my treat!" said Remus softly, as he walked her out._

"_Remus! I know you're trying to be a gentleman, but I can pay for my own food," said Lily, a hotness in her tone, "Honestly, all you boys are the same – can't think a woman can do anything for herself."_

"_I didn't realize that paying for our food meant I was a male chauvinist," said Remus, a light mocking in his tone, "I'm learning new things every day!"_

_Lily stopped walking and looked a little embarrassed._

"_I'm sorry," said Lily softly, "It's just that – you don't have to do that… I know how hard it is for you… with money… since your mum…"_

_Lily tiptoed around certain words and could have smacked herself for essentially ruining her first date with Remus. She was beginning to wonder why he had asked her out in the first place._

_But Remus just smiled and took one of Lily's hands in his own, "I know I don't have to Lily, but I want to. You've been my closest friend over the last few years… and I… I really like you…"_

_Lily smiled warmly at Remus and he leaned in closer to her. She suddenly felt a slight sweat, realizing what he was going to do next. Not knowing how to act, she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. Remus pulled his head closer to hers, and gently kissed her. It was short and sweet, and Remus exhaled deeply after pulling away from her, opening his eyes. Lily opened her eyes too and bit her bottom lip as the two of them walked, now hand in hand, back towards the castle – both of them absolutely beaming._

* * *

"Lily? Hello? Are you okay?" asked her friend, waving a hand in front of Lily's blank expression.

"Hmm? Yes, sorry," said Lily quickly, before getting back on her feet. Thinking about Remus and their estrangement now nearly made her sick to her stomach, and she didn't think she could handle being in the same room at the moment.

"I'm going out for some air," said Lily.

She stood up and walked to the doors, and found herself running into someone who was entering as she was exiting.

"Sorry…" said Lily slowly, and she looked up to see it was Snape, "Oh… it's you."

There was a moment of silence between them as they both just stood there, Lily's body not responding to her wanting to leave – as if she was waiting for something.

"Lily… I…" began Snape finally, looking around the Great Hall to make sure _certain_ people weren't looking before he stated his next words, "I'm sorry."

There it was. What Lily had been waiting for - but somehow, it didn't change what she felt in the slightest.

Lily looked up into Snape's dark eyes, and saw that he was truly sorry, but she sighed sadly and looked away, "Sorry isn't good enough, Sev. It's too late."

"But-"

"I don't like what you're involved in – and when the war with Voldemort is coming, I know what side I'm on. And it's not the same one you're on. So… goodbye," said Lily, the bitterness and anguish in her tone was apparent, as she turned away from a devastated Snape, and left the Great Hall.

She found herself in the common room, lots of smiling faces around her, students already getting ready for the match later and she selfishly wanted to hex them all for feeling so happy when she was clearly not. Then she turned her attention to another face, sitting in a chair and frowning. It was Sirius, and he looked like he was deep in thought – but the frown on his face was more welcoming to her than a smile was at this moment, and she made her way to him.

"Mind if I sit by you?" asked Lily softly to Sirius, who hadn't noticed her approach until then.

He lifted his head and nodded abruptly, and went back to looking sullen – his forehead wrinkling.

Lily sat in a chair next to him and took a deep breath, "Terrible day too?"

Sirius just grunted a response, and Lily looked at him, "Are you alright, Sirius?"

"I'm fine," Sirius replied shortly.

"Oh."

Sirius looked at Lily, who looked just as miserable as he was and shook his head, "It's James…"

Lily's eyes widened and she looked at him fearfully, "What's wrong? Is James alright? Is he hurt? Did something happen?" Her mind whirled with thoughts of James hurt, or dying or worse, somewhere.

"Calm down," said Sirius, trying to hush her at the same time, "James isn't hurt."

"Then what's the matter?" asked Lily, her concerned green eyes meeting his weary grey ones, "Tell me… please…"

"James' father had a heart attack," said Sirius grimly and looked away, "He didn't make it."

"Oh dear…" said Lily, putting a hand to her mouth, "That's terrible… poor James. Where is he? Is he handling it okay?"

Sirius shrugged, "Don't know, he's talking to Dumbledore and McGonagall right now…"

"What about his mother?" asked Lily gently, "How is she?"

Sirius shook his head, "His mother died awhile back. His parents had him quite late in life… his father had been alone for awhile."

Lily looked like she was on the verge of tears, thinking how sad that must have been – and how awful James must feel. She wanted to hug him, console him, now knowing there was a softer side to him that she really admired.

"They were really good people, the Potters," said Sirius sadly, "Always welcomed me. Gave me a place to stay when I didn't have one. Treated me like a son. They were like the parents I had always longed for."

Lily wanted to ask him about his own parents, but thought it may be delving too deeply in his personal life, and she had barely talked to him before – so instead, she just sat there looking dismal like Sirius, staring out in front of her.

Sirius studied Lily for a moment before ushering a half grin on his face, "You really care about him, don't you?"

Lily blushed and looked at her feet, "What? What do you mean? Yes, he's less of a git than I had previously thought but-"

"But nothing," said Sirius, now fully grinning like an idiot, "You fancy him."

"No, I don't!" protested Lily, her face getting hot, "I'm serious, Sirius!"

Sirius muttered a curse under his breath for the near bad pun of his name, something he'd gotten quite often, but held his grin at Lily. She looked at him very sternly, and his face dropped.

"Okay, alright," said Sirius slowly, "You don't like him."

"Damn right I don't," said Lily, crossing her arms, "Not like that anyway."

Sirius scoffed at Lily and eyed her, still with suspicion, "You're both such terrible liars."

"Sirius Black, so help me Merlin…" said Lily throwing her hands up in the air - but froze instantaneously as she fully comprehended what Sirius had just told her.

"Wait… what do you mean, you _both_?" asked Lily slowly, now eyeing Sirius.

Sirius swallowed and fell back into his chair while shaking his head, "Oh it's nothing, nothing."

"Black…" said Lily menacingly, shifting in her seat.

Sirius refused to make eye contact with Lily, but could feel her gaze penetrating through his entire body nonetheless, and he finally caved.

"James denied having feelings for you when I asked him about it," said Sirius, "He told me right after I interrupted you two… erm… _chatting_ here months ago…"

"Oh… well, see," said Lily shrugging, disappointment etched across her delicate face, "He doesn't like me either. Nothing's going on. End of story."

"Lily… he looked just like you did now," said Sirius, "You can say whatever you want to me, but you _know_ how he feels about you. Because it's the same you feel about him."

They sat in silence together for a short while, watching people enter and exit the room, merrily chatting with one another while the two looked exactly the opposite, sitting in their chairs.

"Do you think I'm a horrible person, Sirius?" asked Lily finally, her voice breaking as it did.

"What?" asked Sirius, looking at her confused, "Is this a trick question? Cause it sure feels like a trick…"

"Do you think I'm being horrible by liking James while I'm with Remus?" Lily repeated, more clearly, "Remus is wonderful – he's my best friend… and I feel like I'm betraying him for even thinking about James in that way…"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably in his seat, unsure of how to talk to Lily about this.

"I don't think you're a horrible person, Lily," said Sirius, "Confused? Obviously. You just need to make a choice. Are you horrible? No. If you were horrible, I'm sure James wouldn't even look your way… then again… there _was _Emily…"

"What's wrong with me? I have a fantastic boyfriend like Remus and I spend most of my days daydreaming about James!" said Lily, ignoring Sirius' last bit and clearly speaking unabashedly about her feelings towards James for the first time, "Have I gone completely mad?"

"Curious… is James fully clothed when you daydream about him?" asked Sirius, trying to lighten the mood by distasteful jokes.

"But on the one hand, I feel completely happy when I'm with James – like I haven't felt in a long time! But I used to feel that way with Remus… at least I think I did," said Lily, again ignoring Sirius, "But Remus and I were friends, we were always friends… maybe that was it… there's more with James though… like a… a…"

"Bad haircut?"

"A spark! I thought of this before, and I'm sure of it now," Lily's face was glowing with a realization, and Sirius glanced at Lily with a look of awe, "In fact, I…I'm positive."

"Positive?" Sirius managed to squeak out.

Lily nodded and looked at Sirius with a smile, and Sirius could already tell what decision Lily had made.

"It's…James."

* * *

James was sitting in Dumbledore's office with the Hogwarts headmaster and McGonagall, his head in his hands, and they had been quiet for some time now. As Dumbledore told him the news about his father, James felt a gut-wrenching guilt and sadness overtake him, as he collapsed into a nearby chair and sobbed loudly at the loss.

"James, my dear boy," began Dumbledore softly finally breaking the silence, "I'm afraid that there is more I have to tell you about your father's death…"

McGonagall shot him a concerned look, thinking if maybe this should wait – but Dumbledore looked back at her, assured, and she nodded with a deep sigh.

James looked up from his hands, his face hot and wet from his cry, and his voice broke, "There's… more?"

Dumbledore walked over to James and put a hand on his shoulder, "We have reason to believe that your father did not die of a heart attack, as what was previously thought."

The headmaster paused to give James a moment to collect himself before continuing. James just stared in wide eyed disbelief back up at Dumbledore, causing him to continue speaking, "We were informed by someone that your father was approached by death eaters prior to his death… they had asked him to join their side, and to convince you to do the same – being from a long standing pureblood family…"

James looked around the room, and let out an audible gasp, though unwillingly.

"… I'm sure it's not surprise that he declined, and was adamant about keeping you out of their dark affairs, though he knew you would never be interested in their ideals…" said Dumbledore slowly, "He was a good man, your father."

"They killed him, didn't they?" asked James softly, staring at the floor, indifference in his tone.

Dumbledore hesitated before continuing, and he could feel James' pain.

"I believe so, James," he replied sadly.

James felt sick to his stomach. He was angry, enraged beyond belief, that his father was taken from him unjustly – angry with those who caused his premature death.

But he was also angry with himself, feeling responsible for his father being alone in his final days. The guilt he felt for not visiting him during the holiday break – to see him a final time – was eating him alive. To know that his father's final thoughts were to protect him – that perhaps he was proud of the man James had become, knowing he would never believe in the things those vile killers believed in.

Without saying another word, James jumped out of the chair he sat on and tore out of the office.

Professor McGonagall made a motion to go after him, but Dumbledore stopped her, "We should perhaps, give him some time to grieve with his loved ones, Minerva."

The headmistress stopped and looked sadly at James' exit, "Poor thing. I just hope he doesn't do anything rash in light of the news."

Dumbledore smiled, and a slight twinkle returned to his eyes, "He's a smart boy, Minerva. And he has a good heart – acting out revenge is not a trait I see in Mr. Potter. He knows his father wouldn't want him to become like those who are… _misguided_."

"It will just be the beginning, Albus. Who knows how many more will have to perish before this is all over," McGonagall breathed heavily.

"I agree, Professor. It is why I feel we must form together if we truly want to stop Voldemort and his followers in this war," began Dumbledore, taking a seat at his desk.

McGonagall looked at him softly, "What do you propose, Headmaster?"

Dumbledore smiled as he looked over to his right, a brilliantly colored phoenix sleeping on his perch, making a light cooing sound.

"I was thinking an order of some sort," said Dumbledore, sheer optimism in his voice, "Perhaps something like… the order of the phoenix..."

* * *

_A/N: __Thanks for being patient with my updates, I realize the time keeps getting longer and longer, so I decided not to upload this unless I had a solid start on the next one (which I do, so huzzah!) so the wait time is less. Enjoy! :)_


	18. Chapter 18: Little Mistakes

**Chapter 18: Little Mistakes**

*** * * ***

James burst through the doors to his common room, much to a startled Sirius and Lily, who stood up immediately upon his arrival. He took a look at them through his bloodshot eyes; taking in their worried looks and swayed a little in his stance, overcome with emotion.

"James," said Sirius softly as he took a step forward, but he had a loss for words. It was Lily who spoke up next.

"I'm so sorry, James," she murmured gently, tears forming in her eyes.

Part of James wanted to just shout at everyone, and lock himself up in his room – be alone like his father had been – a fate that he thought he deserved. But another part of him wanted the love - the reassurance that they would provide, telling him everything was going to be okay now – even though a part of him thought maybe he didn't deserve as much. Torn between his emotions, he just stood in place, unable to talk.

Lily saw the hurt in his eyes and without any further hesitation, ran up to him and held him tightly. James instinctively placed his head on Lily's shoulder and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame, breathing in the slight scent of berries from her hair.

Sirius smiled slightly as he watched his friend and his former enemy, perhaps turned more, embracing, and was about to give them a moment alone until he saw James' face screw up into a strange expression.

Suddenly, as if the moment were all too perfect, James jerked backwards and pushed Lily away from him, the distance between them now a foot apart.

"Wha…" Lily looked confused, now rejected by James.

"No," said James emotionless, "Not you."

He turned around and walked up the stairs towards his room, leaving a stunned Lily and a speechless Sirius down in the common room.

Lily turned to face Sirius, as she made no effort to stop the tears streaming down her face, "Well, I guess you were wrong. He wasn't lying…"

Sirius sighed and took a step towards her, "Lily…"

"No…" said Lily holding up her hand in a swift motion, before turning to head to her room as she couldn't face Sirius anymore, "I just wish…"

Lily felt her voice break, and ran up the stairs without finishing her sentence. Sirius contemplated going up to James to talk to him, but thought it best if he were left alone, and made his way to the Great Hall, realizing he was starving.

The members of the Ravenclaw quidditch team were in the process of leaving the Great Hall, when Sirius finally made it there, hoping he could still wrangle up some food before lunch was officially over. He greeted them as they exited, wishing several of them good luck, until he saw Remus at the end of the line, and his eyes shifted nervously.

"Sirius!" exclaimed Remus, clapping a friendly hand on Sirius' shoulder. He told the rest of his team he would catch up after a word with Sirius, and turned to face the uneasy Gryffindor, "You weren't by chance in your common room earlier, were you?"

"Ahh, yes, actually, just came from there," said Sirius slowly, as they stood in the seemingly empty corridor in front of the Hall entrance.

"Did you see Lily at all while you were there?" asked Remus, his brows furrowing, "I can't seem to find her, I thought she would still be here but…"

Sirius swallowed and for a split second thought about making up some story, but his heart wasn't into spinning a lie and he knew that ultimately it would help no one – least of all Remus.

"Yes, she was in the common room, and now she's in her room," said Sirius, "She wanted to make sure James was alright…"

Sirius mentally brought a palm to his forehead as he realized that the last part of what he said most likely should have been omitted as he noticed the stern look on Remus' face at the mere mention of James.

"James? What's wrong with Potter?" asked Remus, trying to keep control in his voice.

Sirius took a breath, and looked away from Remus as he responded, "James got some bad news from home… Lily tried to console him…"

"What do you mean by 'tried'?" asked Remus suspiciously, now staring down Sirius as if he had some vital information he was keeping to himself.

"I mean that James pushed her away," said Sirius, "I think he needs some time alone."

"Oh," Remus replied, not meeting Sirius' eyes, "I suppose she was upset at the rejection?"

Sirius shrugged and exhaled deeply, "I don't know, she seemed a little-"

"Black, what's _really_ going on between them?" asked Remus clearing his throat, "I'm not a complete idiot…"

Sirius was taken aback by Remus' straightforwardness, but he knew it was only a matter of time before he figured out. Yet, Sirius still felt compelled to not discuss it – it wasn't his matter to talk about.

"You should talk to Lily, Remus," said Sirius, before opening a door and heading into the Great Hall, leaving a pained looking Remus in the corridor, "I'm sorry I can't help any more than that."

Remus, feeling crestfallen, watched as Sirius walked into the Hall, and decided to finally make his way outside where he knew his team was waiting for him. Behind a nearby shadow, a darkly figure stepped out into the light, a grim look on his face as he had eves-dropped on Remus and Sirius' conversation, and not liking what they said one bit. The figure, Severus Snape, grit his teeth at the thought of Lily and James together, and a strong hatred for James had quickly spread through his body – along with complete awe as to what Lily Evans would _ever_ see in a boy like James Potter.

Then, Snape's mind started clicking everything together. How suddenly Lily seemed to like James. How James had just recently _begged_ him to brew Amortentia for him. How it seemed that could be the only plausible explanation in this situation. Snape's eyes grew wide as he came to a conclusion: James used Amortentia on Lily to get her to fall in love with him.

Snape's pulled his lips back and bared his teeth slightly at the thought of Lily – _his _Lily – being drugged into liking someone as vile and idiotic as James. Snape made his next decision without deliberating on it any longer: There was no way he was going to let Potter get away with this – he was going to tell Lily the truth.

*

People had already begun gathering outside in the stands, and Remus could hear the cheers as he walked out onto the field. His teammates smiled at him, and he offered one back, though he was in no mood to smile. He wasn't in the mood to play the match today either, but that wasn't an option for him as he grabbed his broom and began to warm up.

* * *

"_Don't be nervous, you'll do fine – just make sure to keep your eye on that snitch at all times," a sixth year boy was telling the nervous Remus, in his third year and on his first official match as the new Ravenclaw seeker._

_Remus shook his head, nearly queasy from the mixture of excitement and fear he felt. His hands were trembling as he mounted his broom, watching as the stands were filled with cheering students. He could hear one of the students announcing the teams, and heard his name – but couldn't make out the rest as his mind was racing._

"_Oi, Lupin!" called out a Ravenclaw girl, and their 5__th__ year chaser, "Your red haired Gryffindor girlfriend says 'good luck'!" She winked at him playfully and flew off into the air._

"_She's not my girlfriend!" he called out after her, even though she was out of earshot within seconds. He sighed and mumbled, if only to himself, "She's just a friend…"_

"_Lara, what you doing, getting him all extra nervous for? You know the kid's scared as is," said another chaser, leveling up to her on his broom._

"_Just having some fun, Ben," said Lara giggling, "Plus this way, he'll try even harder – knowing she's watching and all."_

_The other player rolled his eyes at her as the rest of the team took their places in the sky. The captains were down on the field, shaking hands. Remus watched as the balls were released into the air, and kept his eyes on the escaping snitch. Finally, when the quaffle was released, signaling the start of the game, Remus tore through the air in a desperate search for the snitch._

_The game had been only 2 hours long, and ended when a triumphant Remus landed on the ground, proudly grasping the golden snitch in his hand, the bronze and blue banners waving wildly as the crowds around him cheered and booed in response._

_His teammates came down to the ground and engulfed each other in hugs, and the captain lifted Remus up, as they carried him on their shoulders. Shouts of "We knew you could do it!" and "Way to go Lupin!" could be heard as people made their way to the pitch to congratulate the boy of the moment, and Remus found himself in a dizzying state of complete elation._

_He couldn't wait to write his mother and tell him about his first game, and how happy he was that he had a large part in their victory. In the next few days, he was beginning to feel smug as more and more unknown people patted him on the back and smiled at him in the hallways. He felt a sense of worth come over him, and he hoped that the feeling would never go away._

* * *

"Alright Remus?" asked a boy, stopping his broom next to Remus, who was stationary in the air and lost in thought.

"Hmm?" replied a confused Remus, staring back at the chaser.

"I asked if you were okay, you looked like you were somewhere else," said the boy with a smile as he nodded down to the ground where an annoyed looking Slytherin chaser and the quidditch coach were impatiently waiting for him.

The boy floating next to Remus looked anxious as well, "Game's going to start, they need you down there, captain." He gave Remus a quick smile before tearing out into position.

Remus flew down to the ground and gave the coach an apologetic look.

"Okay, captains, shake hands before we begin," said the coach; his cheeks already pink from the chilly air.

Remus looked at the Slytherin captain and extended a hand. The burly Slytherin grabbed his hand and shook it ever so briefly before giving him a sneer and heading off. Remus sighed as the coach released the bludgers and the snitch, which flew off at a break neck speed. Remus tried to keep his eye on it, and knew that Regulus, Slytherin's seeker, was doing the same.

Regulus was quite a good seeker and Remus considered him his only real worthy adversary – up until James' victory in the last game of course. But Remus detected a hint of contemplation in Regulus' eyes as he watched the snitch, and thought that maybe he wasn't the only one who wasn't in the mood for a game today.

As the coach threw the quaffle into the air while blowing his whistle, both Remus and Regulus tore off into the sky, desperately seeking the fluttering snitch, as they both wanted the win and ultimately, an end to the game.

* * *

After awhile of eating in the Great Hall and chatting with his fellow Gryffindors, Sirius packed up some food and headed back to the dorm, where he knew James would be. He thought James may not have much of an appetite, but decided to bring him something just in case – and even began thinking of ways to trick him into eating something until he reached the room door.

"James?" Sirius asked before entering the room quietly. He wasn't completely prepared for what he walked in on, and dropped the food in his hands immediately in shock.

There, on James' bed were James and Emily – James' ex – both laying on their sides and kissing. Both of them were fully clothed and it didn't look like much had happened besides some heavy snogging, but Sirius was still surprised Emily was in a 10 foot radius of James, let alone on his bed kissing him.

Emily immediately pushed James away when she heard Sirius enter the room, and looked rather flushed.

James on the other hand, looked emotionless, like a dementor had just kissed him, "Forget how to knock?" he said in a monotone voice, like he didn't really care either way.

"I should… go,' said Emily quickly as she scampered out of the room past Sirius, avoiding eye contact with him.

Sirius watched her go with his mouth slightly open and a dumbfounded look on his face, before turning his eyes back on James. James just sat upright on his bed and looked past Sirius, staring at something beyond him.

"What. The. Bloody. Hell?" Sirius asked slowly, "What the … what the HELL was SHE doing HERE?" he continued, raising his voice on every other word dangerously. But still, James just continued to stare, and just shrugged.

"She was here. I asked her up. That's what happened," he said plainly.

Sirius' heart broke for his best friend, he could feel the obvious pain he was in – but he still couldn't comprehend what possessed James to turn to Emily, _Emily_ of all people – especially when Lily was more than willing to be there instead. Lily could say what she wanted, and James could act how did but Sirius knew the truth – he knew his friend. He knew James had more than just slight feelings for Lily, as much as he wouldn't admit it.

And to see James with Emily… Sirius sighed and sat down on the foot of James' bed.

"I don't know what to say James," started Sirius, "I'm… I've never really been good with emotions and stuff… he was good man, I cared about him too-"

"He died alone, Sirius," James' voice cracked as he interrupted Sirius, "He didn't have anyone with him… he… he didn't deserve that…I should have been there…"

Sirius could tell James was fighting back tears again, and slowly moved up the bed. He placed a comforting hand on James' shoulder and looked him square in the eye.

"It's not your fault," began Sirius, "No one could have predicted something like this to happen… his heart…" Sirius' voice trailed off, as James whipped his head up to look at Sirius intently.

"It wasn't his heart!" snapped James, as he flew up off of the bed. He took a lamp on his bedside table and whipped it across the room at a mirror, as both shattered into pieces. James was breathing heavily and felt like breaking more things, but Sirius grabbed him to calm him down.

"James, stop!" said Sirius worriedly looking at his friend, "What do you mean it wasn't his heart?"

"Bloody Death eaters! That's what killed him!" yelled James, feeling the flood of emotion whip through him again, his mind and body going through some kind of sickening rollercoaster.

For the next twenty odd minutes, James explained what Dumbledore had told him about his father's death, the guilt he felt, the anguish of the loss and the bitterness towards himself. He paced the room, flopped onto the bed, got back up again and even threw the same lamp – which Sirius had repaired back together with a charm – once again, this time at the wall.

Then there was silence. Sirius and James just sat together without speaking, both sporting sullen expressions. It was Sirius that finally spoke up.

"We'll get them, James," said Sirius softly, "I promise you, we will. We'll find those responsible for his death and make sure they get the punishment they deserve. Life in Azkaban. Dementor's kiss. All of it."

James remained silent and laid out on his bed, a pillow covering his face. He didn't want to think about it – about anything – anymore. He just wanted the room to stop spinning.

"Let's go down to the pitch and get some fresh air," began Sirius again, "Come on, out of your room – get your mind off things…"

James didn't stir, just kept lying there, and it was clear to Sirius the emotionless part of the rollercoaster was back in full swing.

"James, let's go, it'll be good for you," said Sirius, tugging on his friend's arm, but James didn't move. Finally Sirius grabbed the pillow that was covering James' face and tossed it across the room. James made to protest, but Sirius stopped him.

"I know you're devastated – and with good reason," said Sirius, "But I knew your father, James, and he wouldn't want you to blame yourself or even feel a twinge of guilt for his death."

Sirius sighed at his friend's silence.

"And I know _you_," continued Sirius softly, "You don't want to be alone right now. Though you probably think you deserve to be, but it's not how _you_ deal with this – not really. It's why you invited Emily back to your room…"

James looked at Sirius with weary eyes, "That was a mistake."

"I'll say…" replied Sirius and added a small smirk before continuing, "Who knows, maybe if I didn't walk in when I did, you'd of ended up-"

"Don't," said James, closing his eyes, "Don't finish that thought."

Sirius let out a bark of a laugh, causing James to chuckle slowly as well. James thought it felt good to laugh, and looked at Sirius with grateful eyes. He was lucky to have found a friend like him, and it was times like these that proved how great their friendship – their bond – really was.

Sirius, as if able to read James' thoughts, just nodded slowly and smiled. Sirius walked over to where he dropped the food he'd carried up from the Hall and used a charm to freshen it up a bit. He brought it over to the bed and handed James some, which he took and ate without a second thought – it wasn't like they hadn't eaten anything off the floor before.

"So…" started Sirius as they both started eating some of the food, "What about Lily?"

"I don't deserve her," said James plainly and shrugging, "I don't want her to get involved."

Sirius shook his head at James, "You really think you should be alone? That you don't deserve to be happy?"

"Remus will keep her happy," said James sadly, "I don't have much to offer her."

Sirius wanted to say more, but thought that no matter what his argument might be, James was going to be depressed for a while – and he couldn't do anything to really stop it.

"She was upset," was all Sirius said, and James just nodded at him. They sat together quietly finishing their food, and started talking about other less important things. It was all mindless chatter, but perhaps just the company was what James really needed. He needed that, and a way for him to get his mind of his father's death, death eaters and Lily Evans.

* * *

_A/N:__ More to come soon! :) Thank you for the reviews and kind words - it makes my day!_


	19. Chapter 19: A Dog's New Trick

**Chapter 19: A Dog's New Trick**

*** * * ***

It was the longest match of the season thus far, which was irony at its cold-hearted cruelest as both seekers wanted the game to end rather quickly. However, neither was prepared to be beat by the other, and throwing the game was simply out of the question.

Finally, a grueling 4 hours later, when it was certain that if the snitch wasn't caught soon both teams would have players dropping from their brooms in exhaustion, Remus caught the snitch in one swift motion, out maneuvering Regulus in a glorious and extremely welcomed finale.

It took less then 2 minutes for all the players – Slytherin and Ravenclaw alike – to fly to the ground and dismount, all wearing worn and ragged looks on their faces.

"Good job captain," said one beater, clapping Remus on the back, however Remus could hear even amidst the tired yells of victory from the stands the beater mumbling under his breath as he walked away, "Couldn't have done it any sooner, I suppose…"

The celebrations in the Ravenclaw common room were not nearly as energetic as games won before, and even Remus' own teammates just exchanged smiles before staggering up their rooms. Even Remus was tired – flying for four hours straight was a fairly daunting task, but thought to endure some of the celebration out of obligation.

In took him less than twenty minutes to finally pass out on one of the empty chairs in the room.

**

* * *

**

Sirius and James managed to play two rounds of Exploding Snap, talk about the girls in their year (or more importantly, the 'specific' areas on the body of these girls roguish young boys talk about), talk about who they'd want to clobber once out of school, again about girls (this time, older girls who had already graduated, but still the same 'parts' of them, regardless) and favorite types of pie before finally falling silent, with neither one not knowing what to say next. The tragedy of the Mr. Potter still loomed its ugly dark head over them like a storm cloud waiting for just the right conditions to start pouring down buckets of rain, but both boys made an effort to tiptoe around it.

They were now laying on the ground of their room, limbs sprawled out and on their backs so that if someone were to walk in, it would look as if were both comically punched out, and all that was missing were the cartoon birdies flying around in circles above their heads.

"So…" started Sirius lazily, staring at the ceiling, "I think I've got the animagus thing down."

James lifted his head and cast a surprised look at Sirius, "What? Did I just hear you right?"

Sirius rolled onto his stomach and propped himself up, gazing off in the distance, "I mean I haven't actually transformed, but I think I've tuned my mind to it, so all there's left is…"

"Sirius? Are you mental?!" James was now sitting up and staring at Sirius sternly, "You KNOW what happened last time!"

"Last time was an accident, and I was stupid, I wasn't ready," said Sirius shaking his head. He sat up and crossed his legs; absentmindedly he ran his hand through his hair, "I even know what animal I'll be…"

James let out an exasperated sigh, "Look mate, are you sure? I don't know if I could see you all mangled up if something goes wrong… you know how I am around blood…"

"I promise, I won't make you toss up your lunch," Sirius replied rolling his eyes, "And quit being so dramatic, or I won't tell you what my animal is!"

James turns his concerned look into a sly smile, "Oh do tell, Siri… you've peaked my interest now… tell me, is it something cute and cuddly, 'sweet ickle thing'…" James moved closer to Sirius and started pinching his cheeks annoyingly, and it took a great personal strength for Sirius not to punch him right then.

Sirius backed away from James and a smile, equally sly as James', spread across his face, "How about I show you instead?"

James stood up and crossed his arms laughing, "You have my most undivided attention. Shall I fetch a glass bowl full of water in case you're some kind of fish?"

Sirius shook his head and closed his eyes, still on the ground. He inhaled deeply and felt his body twitch and shake, a little violently at first – of course for a first time transformation, he hadn't worried about it. Sirius just held his concentration, and let the transfiguration take place. He began to feel his body shifting, changing, morphing into the animal he knew he would become, and once the transformation stopped he stared at James, whose jaw had effectively dropped as he watched Sirius in astonishment.

"W…whoa…" stammered James as he was gazing into the eyes of a big, and rather ferocious looking black dog.

Sirius let a menacing growl escape his canine throat, secretly enjoying the panicked expression on his best friend's face. He even went as far as to bare his teeth and take a step forward.

James, in response, took a step backwards and put his hands up in front of him defensively, "Heh, heh… you know I was only joking about the ahhh… fish thing right? Sirius old pal o' buddy? Hmm?"

If a dog could laugh Sirius would be in hysterics, as tormenting James in his dog body was overwhelmingly amusing. He playfully took a snap at James' legs, causing him to jump up on a bed with a yelp.

"Hey!" yelled James in protest, and grabbed some pillows off the bed to use as weapons against the giant dog. Sirius propped his front legs up against the bed, with a fierce look on his face.

Neither of them heard the door to their room open, until a startled Peter was staring at both of them, a look of horror on his face.

"Ahhh!" he screamed pointing to the black furry thing that was Sirius, "Killer dog! Grim! Bad omen! Ahhh!!!" Peter was out of the room so fast, and his terrorized voice could be heard as he flew down the stairs, fading out as James stood shell shocked still atop the bed, and Sirius looking back at the door, his head tilted to the side.

"Oh. Bugger." James said finally and looked wearily at Sirius, who backed off and looked more like a drooling puppy than the menacing beast, "Well, at least I know not to put my life in his hands any time soon…"

James let his feet fly out from under him and landed on the bed on his bottom with a smack. Sirius barked out a laugh and went up to James, placing his head in his lap. James laughed and absentmindedly scratched behind the dog's ears, though feeling a bit strange as he realized he was doing that to Sirius. Though, when Sirius started wagging his tail in utmost glee, James let out another chuckle and shook his head.

"Well, I guess you are kind of cuddly so I wasn't so off in my prediction," said James with a smile, "Just don't lick me."

As the words rolled out of James' mouth, he knew what was coming next. Sirius used his new doglike strength to tackle James backwards on the bed and licked him ferociously all over the face, and even licked his glasses clean.

"Gah!" James croaked as he wiped the dog saliva from his face with his sleeve, and eyed Sirius sardonically, "Thanks for that."

Sirius stood very still in front of James and felt his limbs extending once again, the fur disappearing as the animal turned to human once again. Sirius was on all fours, looking just the same as he did before he turned into the dog, except with his clothes slightly disheveled.

"Did I taste good at least?" James joked with a raised eyebrow, trying to show his severe awe in front of Sirius, though failing miserably.

"No, not particularly," said Sirius shaking his head, "I prefer the roast beef."

James huffed a laugh and looked at Sirius in admiration, "That was really incredible, Sirius. What was it like being an animal?"

"It's very… surreal," Sirius stated, plopping next to James on the bed, "Like all your senses are super keen, and your mind can't stay focused on one thought – though that might just be cause I'm a dog."

"Yeah," agreed James, "Though it fits you perfectly, I admit it."

"Why, because I like to sniff people's bums and drool a lot?" laughed Sirius, scratching his head, hoping it wasn't fleas.

"Na, cause you're loyal," said James with a smile, "A true companion."

* * *

_A sixteen-year-old Sirius flung open the doors of a giant wardrobe in his bedroom, and began throwing his clothes and various other things he owned into his open trunk. He could hear his mother screaming at him from downstairs while his father was angrily pacing the halls, banging his hand into a wall or slamming a door every once in awhile. Regulus was the only one who remained quiet, up in his room that was next to Sirius'._

_Sirius was angry. He was actually beyond angry; he was furious and scared, and even a little hurt – though he would never admit that. He didn't even know when his anger had turned into violent sobs and he hadn't realized he was crying until he felt his face was hot and moist and his hair had started to cling to it._

_Now, he was furious that his eyes had betrayed him and let out an angry scream as he slammed his trunk shut and collapsed in front of it, his arms draped over the intricately patterned wood, ordained with silver and bearing the Black family crest. He stared at the crest with its statement "Toujours Pur" emblazoned so proudly on it and started to feel utter revulsion in the pit of his stomach. He would have tore the trunk apart, if it didn't hold all the things he ever cared about – his Hogwarts things – deep inside._

_With a heavy sigh, Sirius rose to his feet and started to drag the heavy trunk out of his room._

_"What are you doing?" asked a small voice from the doorway of his bedroom._

_Sirius stopped for a moment, but didn't turn around to face voice._

_"What does it matter to you what I'm doing?" asked Sirius, his voice breaking, "You should be happy now, you'll officially be the last heir of Black…"_

_He said his last name with apparent disgust in his voice – something that his family had been used to for several years now. He had always hated the ideals his family pushed on him, and it made him completely happy knowing that his rebellion, starting with his sorting into Gryffindor, had perturbed his family deeply._

_Regulus was still standing at the doorway, his arms crossed as Sirius pushed his way past him, dragging his trunk on the floor._

_"Mum's not going to like that you're scratching up the floor," Regulus said, not being able to think of more to say._

_Sirius scoffed and almost broke into a mad laugh, "So?"_

_The trunk thudded down the stairs and finally Sirius reached the front entrance of Grimmauld Place, and took one lingering look at it before heaving his trunk out the front door. Regulus followed behind Sirius silently, though keeping a distance between them. Neither one of their parents tried to stop Sirius – it was like he was already gone long ago, and now he was just removing the physical remains of the eldest Black from the house. Sirius dragged his trunk out into the warm night air, the lampposts on the street his only light._

_"You're being stupid!" yelled Regulus from the doorway at Sirius who was getting further away, "They… you'll… you'll never be able to come back after this, you know!"_

_"I don't want to come back," Sirius said in a whisper to himself, knowing that Regulus wouldn't be able to hear him._

_He grunted as he pulled the trunk, not looking back. A few minutes had passed when he heard a strangled voice come from the doorway again._

_"Where… where will you go?" yelled Regulus, and Sirius could tell there was a small ache of concern in his voice, though it was carefully covered up by other feelings like loathing, general curiosity and a somewhat forced distaste. But no matter how hard he tried to cover it up, the simple fact was that it was still there._

_Sirius stopped and felt a sudden pang of sadness inside of him. If there was one regret he had, it would be leaving Regulus with his monstrous parents, and that maybe it wasn't too late for him to change too, to see what was right._

_He then heard the door of Grimmauld Place close, and knew that it was, in fact, too late._

_The sadness Sirius felt stuck with him as he drew his wand, was picked up by the Knight Bus, and taken to the Potters' home – the only place he could think of going. Even when the Potters embraced him and took him in, and James grinned while showing him to a new room – a new life – Sirius could feel the sadness, like a stinging pinprick within him that he knew would never truly go away._

* * *

"Aww, thanks mate," said Sirius as he ruffled James' hair playfully, "And I promise, I won't bite so no worries."

"And housetrained?" asked James innocently, "Because I'd hate to have to smack you with a rolled up Daily Prophet or something…"

Sirius was going to retort with something witty, until two figures burst into the room, with a shrinking and frightened third behind them.

Henry Abbott, Frank Longbottom and a pale Peter walked into the room, the first two with their wands stretched out.

"What's going on in here?" asked Abbott, his eyes scanning the room, "Where's the dog?"

James and Sirius exchanged confused looks and shrugged at the boys.

"Dog?" asked Sirius, using his most convincing 'I don't know what you're talking about' voice – something he's perfected over his years at Hogwarts, mostly in McGonagall's office, "What dog?"

"Who has a dog?" James asked in a similar fashion, tilting his head and scratching his chin, "I don't think those are allowed as pets in the school."

"Obviously, they're not," said Frank, putting his wand away, "But Peter just dragged us up here saying he saw some kind of beast…"

"A … what'd you call it? Grim?" Abbott asked, turning to face Peter with an annoyed look on his face.

"It… it… was! I saw it… it was big and black and hairy and… and…" Peter looked back and forth between the boys on the bed and the two standing at the door, before walking up to James and Sirius with his hands on his head, "Here! Right here… you-James… you were on the bed! He was going to eat you, he was hungry looking…."

"Pete, I think all the time spent in the dungeons potion room is finally getting to you…" started Sirius.

"And you! You weren't here before… where did you come from?" asked Peter, now bordering on hysterical, "You just poofed in here?"

"Pete you're a prefect, you should know no one can apparate inside Hogwarts," said James shaking his head, "Honestly, I think you've gone bonkers…"

"YOU!" screamed Peter as he looked wide-eyed at Sirius, "YOU were the dog!"

Abbott and Frank burst out into laughter from the door and James and Sirius chuckled along, though both glanced at each other with knowing looks.

"Pete, you need your eyes checked," said Abbott, turning to leave the room, "And I'd bet a head exam would be quite detrimental to your health as well…"

"I don't think I'll ever understand how HE was made prefect," said Frank under his breath to Abbott as he followed on his heels.

"He wasn't always so nutters I guess," replied Abbott quietly and they both disappeared from the room, leaving a beet colored Peter standing next to James and Sirius, still looking at him innocently from the bed.

Peter stood there standing gaping at now empty space where the dog had been while a moment of silence passed in the room.

"I'm not crazy!" Peter yelled finally and stormed out in a huff. As Peter slammed the door to the room, James and Sirius let out deep breaths, as if they were holding it the whole time and then immediately burst out laughing.

* * *

"Wait, so he just said, 'not you'? That's all?" asked Samantha, lying on her bed and staring across at Lily who was lying on hers.

Lily just nodded in response.

Samantha was a little surprised to find Lily in her room after the quidditch game was over, and Lily had spent 4 hours trying not to go crazy from James' reaction of her. She had cried a little bit in her room alone while everyone was gone, then proceeded to get angry at James, though feeling guilty afterwards, and finished 3 days worth of homework assignments from all classes. Samantha walked in to find a tired Lily on the floor with a quill in hand; her face was blotchy, she had ink stains on her hands and a smudge on her nose.

"Arse…" whispered Samantha under her breath, but loud enough for Lily to hear.

"Sam! He just lost his father," said Lily defensively, "He's going though something hard…"

"Yeah I know, but he didn't have to treat you like that," Samantha replied, waving her hand in the air, "I mean, what does 'not you' even bloody mean?"

"I don't know!" cried Lily and brought her hands up to her head, "It probably means he doesn't feel the same way… I should have known. One or two conversations and a healing potion isn't going to change 7 years of … well… disdain for someone…"

"Healing potion?" asked Samantha confused, quirking an eyebrow up at Lily.

Lily nodded and rolled her eyes at the memory, "Yeah, well… my hand… I cut it and he helped me… anyway, it doesn't matter! I was stupid-"

"No, you're not," said Samantha with a caring smile, "Well… it's Potter… I mean… maybe it was a little stupid…"

"He's really not that bad," said Lily with a smile, "He's funny, and smart – when he wants to be, and he really loves his friends…"

"Huhhh," Samantha let out a sigh empathetically, "I really don't get you sometimes, Lily."

Lily sighed as deeply as Samantha and pushed her work away to lie on the floor with her head resting on her hands, "I know. I don't understand myself these days, Sam."

* * *

_A/N: __I apologize__ for the long wait! Thanks for reading and reviewing :)_


	20. Chapter 20: His & Hers

**Chapter 20: His & Hers**

*** * * ***

"Remus?" asked a voice, as the person behind it prodded the sleeping Remus in the common room chair, "Lupin? Hello?"

The sharp nudge woke Remus up with a start, and he shot up looking around the empty common room, dazed as his eyes focused.

"Sorry, sorry," said a third year Ravenclaw boy, with blue and bronze colored eagles drawn on both sides of his face, "Didn't mean to wake you…"

"What?" asked Remus, letting out a yawn and stretching his arms, "Then why where you prodding me, checking to see if I was alive?"

"Oh no, I knew you were alive," laughed the boy, "You were snoring like a beast!"

"Well, what do you want then?" Remus couldn't help but be a little annoyed at the boy; he was still so tired and was having a particularly good dream about swimming in a giant vat of bubbling melted chocolate with most of the members of the all female quidditch team, the Holyhead Harpies.

"There's a girl outside who wants to talk to you," replied the third year and smiled, "Probably wants an autograph!"

The student bounded up the stairs towards the dormitory while Remus scoffed. He let out another yawn and scratched his head as he walked out the portrait hole and into the hallway, where he was met with Lily – who was looking peacefully calm, an oddity these days.

"Lily?" asked Remus confused, while looking around the deserted hallways, "What are you doing here so late?"

"Look at you, still in your uniform," replied Lily serenely, not making eye contact with him, "I… heard you won… I wanted to say congratulations."

"Oh," said Remus softly and shoving his hands in his pockets, "Thanks."

They stood there looking at everything around them except each other, and Lily spoke up again.

"You're not mad… I wasn't at the match?" asked Lily slowly, trying to read Remus' somewhat befuddled expression.

"No," said Remus indifferently, "I heard you were with Pott-… James."

Lily's face fell, and felt her heartbeat quicken.

"You knew I was with James?" asked a shocked Lily, causing Remus to look at her, puzzled at her somewhat panicked response.

"Yeah, um… Sirius told me he got bad news from home," said Remus scratching his chin, "He told me you were trying to console him?"

"Oh," was all the Lily could muster up. Part of her wanted to find Sirius and strangle him, bring him back to life magically – if there was a way to do that – and strangle him again. Another part of her was grateful, because it was going to make what she was going to do a little easier.

Remus sighed and reached for Lily's hand, grasping in lightly in his own, "After what he did for you in the library, I'm not surprised you two have formed a sort of friendship…"

Lily thought about Remus' words, and something inside her stirred.

"We're not friends," Lily replied, coming to a strange realization, "In fact, I don't think I really _like_ him all that much." She let out a small laugh and shook her head slightly at herself. It was true that she didn't think she liked James that much – even though she had spent her time earlier that evening trying to convince Samantha on why he wasn't so bad – but that didn't hide the fact that she may still _love_ him.

Remus raised his eyebrows at Lily, "Oh?"

"Yes," said Lily, taking Remus' other hand, "He's pig-headed, arrogant, in love with himself too much, talks about quidditch until you want to bang your head against the wrong end of a blast ended skrewt… and I highly doubt he likes me either…" Lily's voice trailed off as Remus looked at her with slight confusion.

"_You're_ my friend… probably my best friend, Remus. You and I have known each other for so long… and… I love you…"

Normally Remus would have been happy to hear these words, but there was a bit of hesitance in Lily's voice that he picked up on, and knew that there was more to her words.

"But?" said Remus, he smiled glumly, almost knowing what was going to happen next.

Lily stared into his eyes and felt tears stinging at hers. She didn't want to hurt Remus. Her Remus. But she knew she couldn't string him along in something she thought wouldn't last. She also couldn't find the words.

"You don't love me like I always thought you would," finished Remus. He still bore a slight smile, but the sadness could be detected in his tired eyes. And in that moment, Lily thought, Remus looked so much older than his age.

"I'm sorry Remus," Lily said, breaking down in tears, and Remus pulled her close into a hug, and Lily kept apologizing over and over again with a muffled voice against Remus' shoulder.

Remus hushed her and held her close, stroking her hair with one hand. He closed his eyes and held her a while longer before finally stepping back. Lily's face was red and damp, and she should have looked miserable, but instead she just looked _different_. Not like the cold, distant Lily he had been around the last few months, but more like the old Lily – the Lily he had met in class one day who would end up being his closest friend.

His Lily.

* * *

The doors to the Great Hall opened and Snape held his breath, watching the doors part from the Slytherin table. A group of Hufflepuff girls entered chatting with one another jovially, as Snape exhaled and scowled in their direction absentmindedly.

It seemed like everyone was moving at a delayed pace this morning. It seemed nearly half the school was missing the early breakfast, still no doubt exhausted from the long quidditch match the day before.

Of course, those who didn't attend the game had no problem going to breakfast, and one such person was Severus Snape. He had spent most of his night debating on the proper way to tell Lily about the Amortentia James had most likely used on her, and even came up with a few scenarios of where Lily would be so grateful, she would forgive him and they could be happy together.

Happily ever after. Just like a fairy tale. Those silly muggle children's books with their princesses being whisked off into the sunset by a noble prince would become a reality for him. And he _was_ a prince, the "half blood prince" in fact – his little nickname Lily had given him back when they were talking to one another.

And there was that hurdle named Remus Lupin he'd have to deal with, but luckily for him he had noticed Lily's distance from him lately, and he thought it would only be a matter of time before he could push him out of the picture as well and have Lily all for himself.

Once again, the doors to the Great Hall opened, and Snape's eyes widened – a moment of happiness shone behind his dark eyes as he noticed the flow of red hair that belonged to Lily Evans. He even felt his chest flutter when he saw that she was happy and bright – smiling the smile he had fell in love with when he was a child.

Then, as if a bucket of ice had been dumped in his pants – his expression quickly turned sour when he noticed what – or rather _who_- it was that was making Lily smile.

Remus followed right after Lily, smiling and laughing like always – and no one would ever guess that they had just broken up the night before.

Snape leered at Remus, not expecting him to be up early, but there was a new sort of bounce in his step as he gazed at Lily adoringly, and it made Snape want to throw up the breakfast he had just consumed.

The two of them stood talking in the middle of the Hall with one another about something Snape couldn't exactly make out, but every so often Lily would touch Remus on the arm affectionately, and every time they had contact, Snape dug his fork deeper into the wooden table.

Finally, they parted ways as Remus sat down at the Ravenclaw table – the table with the fewest students present, while Lily joined up with a few friends at the Gryffindor table. Snape watched her longingly, and the physical pain he was feeling from being rejected from his former friend couldn't compare to anything he'd ever felt before.

He almost couldn't blame James for using Amortentia, he thought to himself…

* * *

_Snape sat in a dimly lit corner in the Slytherin common room – though to say it was dimly lit was an understatement – as the entire common room had a dungeon-ness feeling to it. It was his third year at Hogwarts and he was going through his potions book, getting ready for a tutoring lesson with a seventh year prefect he had been meeting up with for the last couple of months. A figure with light blonde hair entered the common room through the portrait hole, looking around the room with uneasy tension, for Snape._

_It was bad enough that the prefect and fellow Slytherin, Lucius Malfoy was the one that needed tutoring in Advanced Potions, but he felt even more ridiculous that Slughorn had recommended Snape to him, who was younger than him and not even in Advanced Potions. Though with that being said there was no doubt Snape excelled incredibly in the subject, and Lucius noticed his grades were improving fairly drastically after their lessons._

"_Severus," said Lucius curtly, approaching the boy while looking around at the room nervously for onlookers, "Shall we… go to the dormitory? My room is empty I'm sure…"_

_Severus looked at Lucius quizzically and shrugged, "Here's as good a place as any – look I've even set up a makeshift cauldron over the fireplace…"_

_Lucius grit his teeth as he looked over at a group of students in his year look at him from a couch and smirk, "So you have…"_

_Snape followed Malfoy's eyes and saw the students, and it suddenly dawned on him as to why Lucius seemed so apprehensive._

"_Ahh, I see, embarrassed of being seen with me? Or perhaps worried they'll find out you're being tutored by a third year?" asked Snape softly, closing the Potions book in front of him._

"_You know how it is…" said Lucius exhaling deeply, still staring at the students who began filing out of the common room._

_When the students left and it was just he and Lucius left in the common room, Snape spoke up._

"_If you're so concerned, I just don't see why you could hire professional help," said Snape disgruntled, as if the lessons were heavily inconvenient for his schedule (which it wasn't as he didn't have much of a social life either way), "Merlin knows you have the gold for it…"_

_Lucius stared at him square in the eye and sighed, "Because I don't want my father to find out I'm… _challenged_ … by Potions. A giant withdrawal from Gringotts would surely tip him off."_

"_I'm sure it would hardly put a dent in your financial situation," Snape muttered all too quietly, as Lucius sat down opposite Snape, oblivious to his comment._

"_What are we going over today?" asked Lucius, pulling out parchment and his Advanced Potions book – barely touched._

"_Amortentia," said Snape, "It's a… um, love potion."_

_The thought of love and all that made Snape feel uncomfortable, and Lucius just chuckled softly._

"_Right… Amortentia," Lucius laughed, "Or as I like to call it – a loser's last hope. I don't see why this is so important, anyone that needs it clearly shouldn't be even allowed to socialize with normal people - probably some mudbloods using it to attract some poor unknowing purebloods – tricking them into marriage and what not. Foul and disgusting… the lot of them…"_

_Snape held his tongue through Lucius' rant, he was used to hearing this kind of talk about muggleborns on a daily basis – many of his housemates didn't bother to hide their distaste for those witches or wizards born to muggles._

"_Some people may just need some help _securing their future_ is all," Snape said indifferently, and turning to the page with the ingredients._

_Lucius let out a small condescending laugh and looked at Snape intently, "And some of us are perfectly fine with wooing the opposite sex without any assistance. I daresay Narcissa Black would attest to that… Imagine the good fortune of marrying into the Black family… nearly perfect… save that one blood traitor in your year…"_

"_Yes, well, congratulations," Snape said, somewhat bitterly and unrolled a parchment, "Now back to the potion-"_

"_You wouldn't need to use Amortentia on anyone, now would you Severus?" said Lucius with a sly smile, "Especially on the little Gryffindor you seem to fancy hanging around? Red hair – what's her name? Lana? Lindy?"_

"_Of course not," replied Snape coolly, "There isn't one person I would want to use it on, and even if there was someone I… fancied… it's like you said."_

"_Good thing too – she's hardly worth a second glance, Severus… damn mudbloods," Lucius said with ease and slid back in his seat._

_Snape was grinding his teeth together something fierce though all he wanted to do was hex the trousers off Malfoy. He sounded so convincing about not being interested in Lily – it even surprised himself. But he was indeed lying – and he had thought about using Amortentia many times before, but never had the capabilities of brewing such an advanced potion._

_And then there was that nagging doubt in his head. If he actually used it on Lily, would she really love him back? Would it even be the same Lily? And if it wore off, would that me she would leave him?_

_There were just too many probabilities for Snape, and simple logistics kept him from even thinking about trying it on her._

_But in the matters of love, logic hardly ever seems to play a role._

* * *

Snape broke his gaze as the doors to the Great Hall opened again, and possibly someone he hated even more than Remus entered – but instead of scowling as he usually would, his lips curled up into a devious smile.

James had entered the Hall with Sirius – Sirius administering his cheeky grin at a Hufflepuff girl along with a playful wink, and Peter bringing up the rear – looking paler and slightly thinner than usual, as if he'd been sick.

Snape watched James like a lion – or rather a _snake_ – watches his prey, waiting for the opportune time to make his move.

*****

The usually vibrant and chatty James was pulled down to breakfast by Sirius and Peter – both seemed worried about their friend as he went into another depressive slump after spending the entire night tossing and turning. They couldn't blame James for his rollercoaster moods; he was going through something neither of them had ever experienced before.

But Sirius knew he couldn't let his friend starve himself unknowingly, and though the chances were slim he'd actually eat anything, just interacting with other people and getting out of his room was key. Earlier in the day, James was excused from Hogwarts for a week, to make arrangements for his father's burial, and Sirius – having begged the headmaster – was allowed three days as well to help James in any way he could. Sirius noted how Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with compassion as Sirius pleaded to him to not let James be alone, it was one of the traits he loved about the Headmaster – his ability to understand that kind of closeness and love.

Peter had met up with Sirius and James as they headed to the Great Hall, and Sirius noticed how tired and troubled Peter looked. He was about to ask him about it until a girl wearing a Hufflepuff uniform with dark brown hair and stunning blue eyes glanced his way and smiled.

As they entered the Hall, the girl a few steps behind, Sirius turned his head in her direction and kept his gaze, giving her a wink that made the girl's cheeks blush a subtle pink.

"Oi, James… you know who that Huffie girl is?" asked Sirius as he watched her take a seat at the Hufflepuff table.

"Hmm? No," said James, not even looking in her direction, with a long sigh and plotted himself down at the Gryffindor table and chucked his book bag in a seat next to him - his head in his hands.

"What about you Pete?" Sirius asked again, taking a seat next to James while Peter went to sit opposite them. Peter, also not looking in the girl's direction just shook his head and smattered a giant helping of pudding onto his plate.

Sirius was beginning to get annoyed at the lack of proper response, or rather, lack of attention – and knew he couldn't take it out on James, so instead narrowed his eyes at Peter, who was stuffing his face full of pudding with an ill look on his face.

"What's going on with you, Pete?" asked Sirius harshly, "You look like something a boggart would be afraid of these days."

"Nothing is going on with me," shrugged Peter and took a handful of biscuits, "Just tired from studying and homework."

"You might want to go easy on the biscuits, Pete," Sirius smirked cruelly, "Your trousers will thank you for it."

Peter did something unexpected and slammed a half eaten biscuit angrily on the table, causing the silverware to rattle, as Sirius looked at him wide-eyed.

"You know, I've had it with your stupid jokes about my weight, why don't you find something new, eh? Or your brain not big enough to think of better insults?" shouted Peter angrily, causing a few nearby students to look at him.

Sirius stared at Peter, his mouth slightly agape, "Whoa, where is this coming from?"

"Just let me enjoy my breakfast in peace, alright?" spat Peter before ripping off a chunk of bacon with his teeth and swallowing it down, and Sirius could swear he saw a little foam on the side of his mouth.

Sirius just nodded slowly and scooted himself a little closer to James, who had been staring off at a distance the entire time.

"I swear, the world's gone topsy-turvy – Peter's yelling at me, I think I may have fleas, you're winning at quidditch, and… hello? James? Jay-emmes?" Sirius waved a hand in front of James to catch his attention, but then followed his stare to realize he wasn't just looking off into the distance, he was looking at someone in particular.

"There a reason you're staring at Evans like that?" asked Sirius with a smile, "You're not wearing plastic glasses are you? Cause I don't care what those muggle cereal boxes say mate, those plastic glasses inside are _not_ going to make you see through anyone's clothes… trust me… I've checked. Dozens of times, in fact."

James turned to look at Sirius, a solemn expression spread across his face, "I need to apologize to her."

Sirius leaned back slightly and ran his hand through his hair, "Well, that wouldn't be a terrible idea…"

James got up rather quickly, causing the leaning back Sirius to almost fall backwards out of his seat, "Right. Here I go."

James made his way slowly over to Lily, who was too busy talking to another Gryffindor named Mary, that she didn't notice him until she could practically feel him breathing on her neck. She gasped and turned her head so rapidly her red hair whipped James in the face, nearly knocking his glasses off.

James didn't care about the massive attack of auburn, as he inhaled and found the lavender scent of Lily's shampoo to be quite intoxicating – he almost forgot why he'd come there.

"James?" Lily asked slowly, breaking him out of his daze, his hazel eyes focusing on her, still seated down at the table.

"Lily…" started James, he felt himself get hot and nervous – a strange and new feeling he was sure he hadn't felt before, "I just… wanted to come to… say…" he ruffled his hair with one hand while he shoved the other one in his pants pocket awkwardly, "I'm sorry. About last night."

"Oh," said Lily and furrowed her brows, "I guess it's ok. I realize you're going through something hard and we're not exactly friends or anything-"

"But I'd like to be!" said James, kind of loudly, and could feel the rush of blood to his cheeks, "I mean – if it's okay, I'm sorry about what I said, and I would like to be friends – if that's okay – because I sort of, I mean, I like you and all – is that okay?"

James, realizing he sounded like a blubbering idiot, was about to just call it a day and retreat back to his spot next to Sirius with his tail between his legs – until he heard a sound that made his heart leap. Lily was laughing.

Even Remus, who was not paying any attention to the goings on of the Gryffindor table seemed to hear the familiar sound and turned to see James talking to Lily.

"You… do…" Lily said between laughs, "You realize you said "if it's okay" like, 3 times, in that one sentence?"

James plopped down next to Lily and banged his head on the table lightly, "Gah. I'm sorry. But it's not my fault! You make me nervous!"

Lily stopped laughing and eyed James curiously, "I make you… nervous?"

James lifted his head back up and looked at her, "Well, yeah."

"Why?"

"Because…"

"Because why?"

James began tracing his finger around an image of a snitch someone engraved into the table, avoiding eye contact with Lily.

"I told you. I like you."

Lily's heart was beating so fast, she could have sworn it was going to leap out of her chest. Her palms were getting sweaty and she was frantically wiping them on her skirt.

"James… I sort of like you too, I think."

James smiled and finally met Lily's eyes, "You think?"

"Well, I was just telling… someone… that I might not actually like you, because we don't have much in common to be honest – except when I talk to you, I realize that you're not a giant git and that you can be funny sometimes, and well, most girls think that you're… well, you are, except if your hair wasn't so… but I guess it grows on you – and the pranks, sometimes I thought that's all you were good for – but the healing potion, and when you helped… that was sweet…"

Lily was starting to get flustered, and was pretty sure she insulted James a couple of times in her little rant, but James just looked at her with a grin and raised eyebrow.

"I guess I'm not the only one who's nervous," he replied coolly, making Lily shake her head and smile.

"So what does that mean?" she asked quietly, nudging herself a little closer to James, feeling a sort of heat radiate between them.

James swallowed lightly and moved his leg to touch hers under the table, the physical contact sending chills through his body.

"It means you like me too."

Remus was watching James and Lily, however unable to hear what they were saying, and was getting a little annoyed that he couldn't make anything out. He looked around the Hall and noticed that Sirius too, was straining to hear what was going on.

He stood up and walked over to the black haired boy, practically lying out on bench of the table, anything to get his ears closer to James and Lily without actually moving his feet.

"You know, I think that maybe walking by them would seem a little less inconspicuous than you lying like that," laughed Remus as he hovered near Sirius.

The voice startled Sirius and he rolled off of the bench and onto the floor, landing with a thud on his back. Sirius groaned and stared at the enchanted ceiling, while Remus walked closer to him and curtly offered a hand to help him up. Sirius took it and was pulled up, and into a seat, his hand rubbing the back of his head.

"Thanks," Sirius muttered, "Maybe next time you could just blast a crumplet in my ear."

"A what?" asked Remus confused, "Did you mean trumpet?"

"Yeah, that's what I said," said Sirius and shrugged, looking back towards James and Lily.

Remus chuckled and sat down next to Sirius, "So, I have to admit – James works fast. Lily's single for _one_ morning and… already he's making a move…"

Sirius' eyes widened and he looked at Remus. There didn't seem to be any maliciousness in Remus' tone, and he looked fairly content, so Sirius couldn't help but be puzzled at all this.

"You and Lily…"

"I suppose we officially ended it last night. Amicably, I suppose," said Remus with a light sigh, "I guess we're just better off friends."

"Sorry," said Sirius, feeling sort of uneasy, "And I don't think James is making any kind of move – he was just going over there to apologize is all."

"Oh right, for the 'rejection', right?" asked Remus, "I meant to ask, what exactly happened to him?"

Sirius' face was suddenly stricken with sadness as he thought about Mr. Potter once again.

"His father died. Was killed by death eaters," Sirius replied, his voice slightly cracking. Remus then saw how close James and Sirius really were – for Sirius to be so upset over James' father's death.

"That's… terrible. I'm sorry," said Remus softly, "Sounds like you were close."

Sirius just nodded and turned his head back to Lily and James, but then noticed a dark figure was approaching them.

Snape.

"Uh oh, looks like they've got some undesirable company," said Sirius, his look turning into an angry glare at the Slytherin, his hand instinctively going to the pocket that held his wand.

"Maybe we should…" Remus began, also looking at Snape with cold eyes. He wasn't so sure he hated him, but there was still something about him that troubled Remus immensely.

Sirius didn't need any more persuading, as he was up and ready to join his friends further down the table, and together, he and Remus slowly walked towards them, their hands both twitching near their wands.

"I hate to break up this pathetic excuse for wooing, Potter, but I feel like Lily should be informed of something before you continue your tirade on her," said Snape swiftly as Lily and James both looked up at him and then got up on their feet.

"Go away Snape, this has nothing to do with you," said James, feeling himself grow red with anger.

"I'm not here to discuss your technique, I'm hear to let Evans know that she's being severely misguided in your feeble attempts to win her heart," snapped Snape.

"Oi, Snape, what are you getting your greasy nose into now, eh?" shouted Sirius, as he walked to James and stood near him, "The man said go away, now… go away."

"Ah, well, nice to see your little crew has arrived, Potter. Is Lupin a new addition? But where's the short, fat one? Too busy stuffing his face with food to join you?" sneered Snape; the anger inside him was just as intense.

"Leave Peter out of this and go crawl back under the rock you came from, Snivellus!" retorted Sirius, his hand already gripping his wand.

"Severus, perhaps you should listen to him, unless you enjoy being hexed," said Remus quietly.

"Tell me Lupin, does it make you angry to know you've lost your prefect badge while a pathetic excuse for a wizard like Pettigrew gets to keep his? Perhaps everyone here thinks he's brighter than you – which must make you feel quite inadequate…" Snape taunted, his hand also hovering over his wand carefully.

Remus was about to draw his wand, but Sirius was quicker, and held it up at Snape dangerously, not caring whether or not any authority figures saw him, "I'm warning you…"

"No matter, I'll make this quick – I wouldn't want you to strain yourself trying to think of a decent enough hex to use on me," he raised an eyebrow at Sirius and turned back to Lily, "As I was saying – you are being tricked into liking Potter. He's using Amortentia on you – I brewed it for him myself."

James' eyes widened and he exchanged a glance with Sirius, who looked like he was ready to tear Snape apart, a growl emanating from the back of his throat.

Lily rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest, "You expect me to believe that?"

Snape scowled at Lily's response and drew his wand, "I'll prove it!"

He turned towards the end of the Gryffindor table where James, Sirius and Peter (still) sat and said "_Accio book bag!_", while James' bag came hurtling through the air and landed in Snape's wiry hands.

"He's probably got what's left in here," said Snape, an unsettling craze in his voice, "Just wait Lily, you'll see."

"That's _my_ bag, Snivellus, give it back!" said James and grabbed onto a part of it and pulled – though Snape held onto to it firmly.

"IF you're innocent, then you have nothing to worry about – am I right?" Snape turned to Lily and looked at her thoughtfully, "Just look inside – what will it hurt?"

"This is ridiculous-" started Sirius.

"Well, he's right James – just show him you've got nothing like that in your bag and we can move on from this insane accusation," said Remus calmly.

Sirius inhaled deeply and shot James a look, while James tried to think of an excuse not to open it.

"I agree, just show him and be done with it," said Lily softly, "Then he can go to hell."

Snape shuddered slightly at Lily's dismissal of him, but seeing Potter go down would be worth the trouble, and she would see that he was right in the end.

"It's rubbish – why should he succumb to Snivelly's command when it's just a load of bullocks anyways," said Sirius defiantly, "He shouldn't have to!"

"Enough of this!" yelled Snape and pointed his wand to the bag, "_Accio Amortentia!_"

As soon as the words escaped his lips, the small flask with the pearly while liquid shot out of the bag and into Snape's hand. Snape's lips curled up into a victorious smile, while Lily and Remus both let out gasps of shock. James looked at Sirius and brought his hands to his head – just wishing this was all a nightmare, while Sirius clenched his fist at his side while the other one tightened around his wand, ready to knock out Snape.

* * *

_A/N:__ I apologize for the wait - I've been vacationing, but it's good - I'm doing a double update! 2 chapters instead of one (And they're longer than normal! Success!) It's a little dialogue heavy, but I just had to have some more interaction between them all ;) Hope you enjoy and reviews are welcome! It'll be nice to know you haven't abandoned me for my slow updates! Hee hee! :)_


	21. Chapter 21: Telling The Truth

**Chapter 21: Telling the Truth**

*** * * ***

"And here we have a vial of some rather potent Amortentia," Snape said, viciously smiling in James' direction, "I told you I wasn't lying Lily."

"You are lying! I never used that on anyone, let alone Lily – see the vial is still full!" James yelled defiantly with pleading eyes at Lily, "Lily… believe me, I never used that..."

"It's true, he never did," said Sirius slowly, his eyes dropping to the ground.

"Wait, you _knew_ he had that?" Remus asked Sirius, taking a step back to assess the situation, "My question is why in Merlin's name you'd have that to begin with…"

"He probably thought if he couldn't win you over himself – being rather pathetic, it's no shock, that he'd use it to trick you into loving him," spat Snape, hatred filling up in his dark eyes, "If he's as lousy at flirting as he is at quidditch and potions, he'd need all the Amortentia his gold could buy. Lucky for him, his parents are rich enough to buy his worries away, lousy parenting-"

Snape stopped before finishing his sentence as he jumped back when Sirius lunged at him, abandoning all magic and relying on pure physical instinct. But Remus, with his rapid reflexes, grabbed Sirius' robes and held him back from tackling Snape to the ground.

"No! It's not worth it!" he said as he held the struggling Sirius back with his arms, "Trust me. I know."

Sirius finally sighed and stopped, looking at James, who looked deflated and miserable. It wasn't fair, Sirius thought; he already had enough to deal with.

"You didn't answer the question," Lily said as calmly as she could, avoiding eye contact with James. Her face had turned pink, but she tried to keep her cool.

"It was supposed to be a stupid prank," James said softly, wishing someone would just Avada Kedavra him right then and there so he could just disappear, "I didn't… couldn't go through with it."

"Doesn't allude from the fact that you were going to use it on her," snapped Snape, standing up and straightening out his robes.

"Shut your ugly face, Snivellus!" yelled Sirius and hit him with a silencing charm, much to Snape's annoyance, and turned to Lily, "It was all my idea – James had nothing to do with it."

James looked stunned and felt an immense gratitude at Sirius' willingness to take the blame, but he held up a hand and firmly shook his head.

"Thanks mate, but I don't want to lie anymore," said James mournfully, "It was my idea. I was planning on using it on you as a prank on Remus. I'm sorry, it was a terrible thing and I feel like a toerag for even thinking about it."

The four of them, including a peeved Snape who was trying to cast the counter curse to the silencing charm on himself mentally, stood there in a moment of silence – wondering which one of them dared to speak up next.

"You should feel like a toerag, Potter. Because you are," said Lily angrily – the use of his last name meant she was serious, "All those things you said to me – I see it now – and I can't believe how stupid I was to think you actually meant them…"

"Lily…" Sirius interjected.

"Oh, you shut up! You're just as bad – his partner in crime," shouted Lily, drawing some unwanted attention towards them, "You and Potter are just…just... scum! I can't believe either of you! This isn't some game – these are people's emotions you're playing with! And to think I actually liked you… and you pull something like this? I hope you rot!"

With that, Lily stormed off out of the Great Hall, leaving just the boys behind, Snape now red-faced that Lily left them. There was so much more he wanted to tell her but unable to because of Sirius' charm.

Remus noticed him nearly turning purple, too angry to cast the counter silently himself. With a flick of his wand and a heavy sigh, Remus finally produced the counter-charm that allowed Snape to talk, though he was sure he'd regret it.

"You foul… I'll get you for that, Black!" snarled Snape, and went rushing out the Great Hall in hopes to find Lily again – Sirius tempted to put a leg-lock charm on him, but decided against it.

And then there were three. Remus had a very stern look on his face and looked at neither James nor Sirius, but instead out of a large window in the Hall, as if pondering deeply about something. Finally, it was James that spoke up.

"Remus… I'm sorry," said James, "I feel like an arse for thinking about that stupid prank – it shouldn't have went that far…"

Remus held his hand up and cracked the slightest of smiles.

"I'm not angry, James," he said slowly, "To be honest, it would have been an amusing prank – if she really didn't have feelings for you already though…"

"You… knew… she…" James spoke in short bursts, feeling extremely awkward.

Remus laughed, "Of course I knew – you think I'm that oblivious?"

Remus sighed and took a seat at the nearby table, and ran a hand through his sandy hair, "Look, I've been friends with Lily since I first came to Hogwarts. We've been there for each other through the roughest times, and the happiest times. We've shared so much – it isn't much different from the way you two are…"

Sirius and James exchanged a puzzled look and James smiled slyly at Remus.

Remus chuckled and shook his head, "Okay, maybe not _exactly_ the same, Lily and I did date after all. But we both came to realize the love we have for each other is not the same kind of love that you base marriages and 'happily ever after' on. It's the kind of love based on friendship and companionship. She's the only person who makes me feel like I'm not completely and utterly alone in the world. And when we were together – we argued a lot, and sometimes we wouldn't speak – and that… it killed me. I hated that. It's another reason why I know it would never work between us…"

"There's no doubting she's crazy about you," said James, taking a seat next to Remus while Sirius joined on the other side, "I just royally screwed things up with her… I'm such an idiot."

"Lily's a bit hot-headed – I'm sure you know that after 7 years of being on the wrong end of her temper…" said Remus with a smile, "Just let her cool off… my mother once told me that try as you might, you can't change fate… so if it's meant to be, it's meant to be…"

James smiled and thought for a moment what kind of lady Remus' mother was like, and for some strange reason unknown to him, he suddenly felt very sad.

"Remus, I have to say," said James, his voice cracking slightly, "Making that 'truce' with you was probably the smartest thing I've ever done in all my years here at Hogwarts."

"Though in all honesty, Jamsie isn't exactly the 'Brightest Lumos in the Forbidden Forest'…" smirked Sirius with a playful elbow jab at Remus, "Geddit? Bright? Lumos? The forest's dark?"

"Listen Snuffles, if you have to explain it, then it's not a good joke," said James with a laugh.

"Snuffles?" asked Remus confused. "Exactly what kind of relationship do you two have when you have pet names like 'Snuffles'?" he joked.

"_Pet_ name! Ha! Oh you have no idea, Reem," said James, clutching his stomach from laughing so hard, "And he thinks he's got fleas!"

Sirius grinned and leaned in closer to Remus, so others wouldn't be able to hear, "It's my animagus. I've finally got it down and – surprise – I'm a dog."

Remus' eyes widened as he looked at the proud looking Sirius in awe, "Wow! Really? That's amazing… what's it like to transform?"

"Not too bad – I can show you if you like… well, not here," said Sirius and he perked up, "And definitely _not_ in the library…"

Remus burst out laughing, and James and Sirius joined in – some onlookers looking confused at the newly formed 'trio' of sorts.

"I won't tell anyone, you know," he reassured James and Sirius.

"Remus, you gave up your prefect badge to protect my secret," Sirius said rather seriously, "I trust you."

"Yeah… well… it's no big deal," said Remus, though there was a hint of sadness in his voice that both James and Sirius could detect, "Who needs all that responsibility anyways…"

"Here, here!" said James and raised a glass of pumpkin juice up from the table to toast to being irresponsible and defying authority.

Remus grabbed a nearby glass and filled it up with ice-cold juice and toasted with him, while Sirius still stared at an invisible shape in front of him – a worried crease forming between his brows.

"I… I have to go, guys," said Sirius, and stood up abruptly, glancing at the staff table, "I need to go talk to someone really quick, I'll meet up with you later James, to pack for the week. We're leaving at 3?"

James nodded and Sirius gave him a quick apologetic look for leaving without an explanation, and waved to Remus, "See you, Remus. Think of a good place I can… you know… maybe with your map?" He grinned and bolted towards the doors, slipping out smoothly.

"Map?" asked James confused, absentmindedly scratching his head.

Remus smiled and took a sip of the juice in his hand, "Ah yes. The map…"

*

Sirius ran down the hall frantically, an idea swelling within him with such intensity, he had to find out if it would work before he exploded. There were many things to consider, and in addition to the detention he was already serving, perhaps he would have to do more time – but at least he would feel like he was doing the right thing.

Finally, Sirius reached the front of the Headmaster's office, and stared at the gargoyle guarding the door. Praying that the Headmaster didn't change the password since last time, he quietly whispered "raspberry sorbet" to the statue, and felt relieved when he saw it move aside.

With a deep breath, Sirius walked up to the door and knocked 3 times heavily against its wooden frame.

"Come in!" said a soft voice from inside, and Sirius did as he was told, pushing the door open and gently walking in. Dumbledore was sitting at his desk marking away on some parchment with a fiery red quill – the feather the color of his phoenix, Fawkes. He glanced up at Sirius through his spectacles and smiled lightly.

"Ahh, Mr. Black – to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" asked Dumbledore, placing the quill down and motioning for Sirius to take a seat, "I hope you aren't here to convince me on more time out of school…"

"No, Sir, I'm not here about that," said Sirius taking a seat in the chair that faced Dumbledore – and added quickly, "But thanks again for letting me go, Sir. It means a lot to James."

"Of course," said Dumbledore, a sad look in his eyes, "These are unfortunate times, I'm afraid – however the more compassion we show our fellow man, the more likely we shall have a positive outcome. Lemon drop?"

Dumbledore motioned to a bowl full of yellow muggle candies and Sirius took one politely and popped it into his mouth – though he didn't really enjoy them too much.

"Well, well, well… if it isn't my great-great-grandson – in trouble again, no doubt?" said a husky voice from behind Sirius, causing Sirius to groan and turn his head towards a painting of Phineas Nigellus Black, sitting contentedly in his frame.

"Perhaps you could give us a few moments alone, Phineas?" asked Dumbledore politely but with a certain authority that made Phineas nod in agreement – however none too pleased.

Dumbledore then turned his attention on Sirius again, who was now a little agitated, knowing full well Phineas would go back to Grimmauld Place and start talking about him to his mother and father – though he was sure they'd hardly care enough to hear a word.

"Now, where were we?" asked the Headmaster, "Ah yes, the reason you're here?"

"Right, Sir," said Sirius slowly, "You see, it's about Remus Lupin, Sir. I know he had his prefect badge taken away because of something that happened quite some time ago that involved me in the library… and I wanted to talk about that…"

"Ah yes, I believe he told us you two were practicing spells on each other?" said Dumbledore, his eyes looking up as he tried to remember the incident, "I admit, a good thing to do in times like this – but highly dangerous, which I'm sure you know as it sent you to the hospital wing and I've heard it destroyed some of Madam Barnes' books…"

"Sir… Remus wasn't exactly telling the truth," Sirius shifted in his seat and felt himself get sweaty from being nervous, "He had nothing to do with the reason I got hurt and all that. He said those things because he thought I might get in deep trouble for what I was really doing…"

Dumbledore didn't change his jovial expression, but instead, Sirius noticed, smiled a little more.

"I see," he said smoothly, "So what you are telling me is that Remus told a fib to protect you?"

"Yes, Sir," said Sirius with a deep breath, "He did nothing wrong. In fact, I'd probably be dead if it weren't for him. He… saved me."

Dumbledore rose from his desk and walked over to Sirius, gently placing an arm on his shoulder, "So what would you like me to do?"

Sirius hesitated and then looked up into the Headmaster's eyes, "I… could you please give back his badge, Sir? He won't admit it, but I know he misses it. And he was a bl- ah, _real good_ prefect. He never misused it and like I said – he saved me."

The Headmaster walked to the window with his arms grasping each other behind his back and stared out for a while, before finally giving Sirius his answer.

"Very well, Mr. Black. I shall have a talk with his head of house this evening about reinstating Mr. Lupin as our 7th year male prefect," said Dumbledore, turning to Sirius with a smile, "Now is that all I can do for you? I believe Hagrid will be here to escort you and Mr. Potter to Godric's Hollow in a few hours…"

"Yes, Sir, thank you, Sir," said Sirius, feeling himself get warm inside from fulfilling his goal before leaving with James later in the day. He got up to leave, but something still lingered in his mind, and at the doorway, he turned back and looked at Dumbledore, now giving Fawkes a treat.

* * *

"_Mr. Black and Mr. Potter, please have a seat," said Dumbledore sternly, a slight hurriedness in the lighthearted Headmaster's eyes._

_Sirius and James, in their 6__th__ year, did as they were told, and looked nervously at one another. Dumbledore pulled out two files, both extremely thick, each emblazoned with James and Sirius' names on the tabs in messy black handwriting._

"_Now, these are the files Mr. Filch as so kindly retrieved for me," said the Headmaster, taking a seat at his desk, "I believe you know what's inside?"_

_Both boys nodded slowly in response._

"_Good," said Dumbledore calmly, opening them up, "I'm surprised to say that these are two of the largest files I've seen in a long time. They contain records of your detention thus far. Now boys – I must strongly advise you, if you choose to continue on the path that you are on, stricter punishments are in order from Mr. Filch, Professor McGonagall and I."_

_James winced at the thought of Filch, with his stained yellow teeth in a nasty tight smile as he handed out harsher punishments to him and Sirius._

"_Now, this latest incident – the 32 dungbombs in Mr. Avery's… trousers, is a somewhat serious issue. I've received word from his distraught parents that they were not able to get the smell off of him for 5 days," said Dumbledore._

_Sirius grinned lightly and James tried to keep from laughing._

"_I understand the rivalry that goes on between the houses, it's not something new – but I would like to see if we could perhaps put our differences aside for the sake of bettering our learning environment," Dumbledore continued, "I hate to see such bright students of mine put all their effort into pranks and bullying, instead of their work."_

_There was a disappointment in the Headmaster's voice that stung and both Sirius and James. Both of them mumbled apologies softly and sunk low in their chairs._

"_Now, that being said," began Dumbledore on a lighter note, "I also understand that camaraderie and having fun are also important things we must maintain during our years here. As I said before, your files are large, but not the largest I've seen. So I heed this all as a warning and will not issue any kind of punishment – other than what you've already received for this incident."_

_Sirius and James exchanged wide-eyed glances and stood up in their chairs._

"_Thank you Sir," said James softly._

"_Yes, thank you Headmaster," said Sirius, following suit._

"_Very good. You can go now," said Dumbledore, motioning to the door._

"_Sir, I have to ask," said James quickly, before he could stop himself, "Can you tell us who had a bigger file than us?"_

_Sirius nudged James in the ribs with his elbows as if to say 'Don't push it', but Dumbledore surprisingly let out a small laugh._

"_Well, I suppose I could tell you about one that was nearly the size of both yours put together," he replied cheerfully._

"_Oh yeah? Who?" Sirius asked, while James shot him a look as if to say 'See, he's fine with it, you git'._

_Dumbledore smiled at the boys, and the jovial look he once had came back, brightening up his smile._

"_Me."_

* * *

"Sir? Can I ask you a question?" asked Sirius slowly.

"Yes, of course," replied Dumbledore serenely, turning to face him once again.

"Why… why didn't you ask me what it was I did in the library?" blurted Sirius, "I told you what happened wasn't Remus' fault, but it was something _I_ did…"

Dumbledore just smiled back at Sirius, "Mr. Black, the last few times you've been in my office, you've asked for two things – none of which had anything to do with yourself, but to better the lives of those around you. That type of giving without expecting anything in return is a quality I admire in you, and shows how you've matured over the years."

The Headmaster paused for a moment and shifted his gaze back out the window.

"We all make mistakes. It is only human to do so. That is truly the beauty of it all – whether we are muggles or wizards, we learn from the mistakes and grow on. I trust that whatever it was that you did, you have learned from it. I don't need an explanation of what happened, as long as everyone is now safe. And perhaps mistakes _need_ to be made every once in awhile. For example, your mistake caused you to forge a friendship from an unlikely source. It is always important to see how certain circumstances may bring little blessings in our lives, even in the darkest of times."

Dumbledore held his gaze out the window, and Sirius' head was reeling from everything the Headmaster had just said. He was in complete awe of him in that moment, and couldn't find the words to reply. Luckily, the Headmaster turned his head once more and glanced warmly at Sirius.

"Now, my dear boy, I believe your friends are probably waiting for you," he said softly, and Sirius nodded slowly.

"Yes…" he said before turning around, "Thank you, Sir."

With that Sirius walked out of the Headmaster's office and towards his room, Dumbledore's words still penetrating his mind.

* * *

_A/N:__ Hope you enjoyed my double update! I'm having a lot of a free time in the day right now, so hopefully I'll be able to wrap things up shortly! :) Thanks for the views, as always!_


	22. Chapter 22: Worth Fighting For

**Chapter 22: Worth Fighting For**

* * *

Planning the funeral for his father was one of the hardest things James Potter ever had to do. When he lost his mother years before, he thought his world would crumble down into a million tiny pieces, and he would find himself unable to recover from the intense sadness he felt inside from losing her.

But at least he had his father then, his father who helped him keep it together. His father who reminded him that there is a better place after life, and that she would be at peace. Sometimes James questioned whether or not this life was the hard part – that after all of this, it just got easier. He began questioning mortality and went into a dark place for several months after his mother's death, but was able to recover with the help of his father and his friends, namely Sirius.

And here, with his father gone now, Sirius was trying his best to be there for James. Going home was the hardest part, seeing the house at first glance was difficult; the order and properness that his parents had kept was broken from the Death Eaters' tirade on the Potters' home, and it sent James into tears every so often, against his will.

He tried to be brave, to be strong like he should have been – that he knew his father would have wanted him to be, but it was too hard. As he walked through the halls of the house he grew up in, he could still hear the echoes of his father's voice in the wall papered walls…

* * *

_"I'm actually impressed, James – this is 5 less owls than last year," said Mr. Potter with a slight teasing smile._

_James felt himself grow a little pink in the face, and looked sheepishly at the ground. His father was going through a pile of letters he had kept in a small box, all of them informing him of his son's 'less-than-perfect' behavior at Hogwarts, after returning home from his 5th year._

_"That last one… I think the new caretaker Filch has it in for me… he's always watching me… he needs a hobby," James said, brows furrowed thinking about the less then enthusiastic new caretaker._

_James' father laughed bellowed through the house, as he smiled at his son, "Perhaps he needs some kind of pet… but moving on…"_

_James placed his hand firmly on James' shoulder, "I know school and Hogwarts is a time for mischief and fun… but I also know you have it in you to be quite magnificent, James…your mother would be proud…"_

_James chewed on his lip at the thought of his mother, and a slight frown spread across his face. Mr. Potter, noting his son's sudden drop of attitude placed his other hand on James' other shoulder and made him look at him square in the eyes._

_"James," he began, "It's alright to be sad… I miss her too. But she's watching over us, now. She would want the best for you, and that's for you to be happy."_

_"I miss her," James admitted with a deep sigh, "How do you do it, dad? How do you keep it together and not feel like you're…"_

_James couldn't finish his sentence, and instead just gazed past his father and onto the fireplace mantle, that held a variety of wizard photographs – mostly containing his mother. Watching her liveliness inside those photos made it seem like she was actually still there with him._

_"…Completely alone?" asked Mr. Potter, now turning his attention to the photographs as well. He walked over to the mantle, and picked up an old photo, him and his wife when they were much younger, before they had James. He cracked a smile, looking at it, his arms wrapped around his wife, kissing her cheek while she swatted at him playfully._

_James walked beside him and looked at the picture, and then to his father, he could see the anguish he held firmly behind his eyes. He was in awe of his father's strength._

_"You're mother and I love each other very much," he said softly, placing the picture back on the mantle, "I would say 'loved', but you can't talk about our love as if it were something in the past and no longer exists now, you can't. It's the kind of love that doesn't ever die or stop… it just keeps going on… even when our physical bodies cannot…"_

_"Is love more important that being successful?" James asked, though he thought he knew the answer himself, he waited for his father's reply in anticipation._

_"Love is the most important thing of all, James. If there is one thing I can teach you about life, that no wizarding books or trips to Diagon can teach you – it's that love is the ultimate gift one can receive. If you were sickle-less and on the streets, but still had love in your heart… well, you might be wealthier than those who possess the most luxurious of objects."_

_James nodded and glanced at the wall, that held a bright Gryffindor flag, a symbol of the noble lion emblazoned upon its red and gold velvet. Mr. Potter knew what his son was thinking at that moment._

_"It's why we choose the side that refuses to spread hatred towards others," he said wisely, "These people that call themselves 'death eaters' with their hatred for anyone who they feel is beneath them are misguided in what they believe is most important in life. Power and wealth… it's not what's important…"_

_James knew he could never side with death eaters; he was raised to believe that dark magic was evil, as it destroyed everything that was so good in the world around him._

_"Do you think I'll ever find love like you and mum's?" James asked unexpectedly, and turned to look at his father, who looked at him with a smile._

_"I believe you will, son," he said, and ruffled James' dark hair with his hand, "And when you do… be sure to fight for it. Nothing worth having in this world comes easy."_

* * *

"Blimey…" came a voice from behind James, and he turned around to face Sirius, who was studying the broken house with concern, "It doesn't even look the same anymore…"

James nodded slowly and picked up one of several broken photo frames on the floor by the fireplace. He glanced at the smiling couple, which was once his mother and father, now both he'd lost, and worked carefully to take the picture out of the frame. Holding it in his hand, James let out a soft sigh.

"Right," he managed to get out, "Let's salvage what we can."

The boys worked for a few hours and managed to take anything that wasn't completely destroyed and put them in a small cardboard box. After clearing out a couch, they both slumped against it, staring at the box, James fidgeting with his hands and Sirius remaining silent, but by his friend's side.

"I can't believe my whole life is in that box," James said finally, his foot tapping feverishly on the ground, his eyes, still cemented on the box.

Sirius remained silent and looked sadly at James.

"Everything. Everything!" James stood up quickly and paced around the couch, "My whole life. All the memories I had… everything my parents saved… everything except what's inside that box is gone. Forever."

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Sirius responded, "It's not gone, James."

James bore a look through Sirius that Sirius could feel and it made him twitch slightly, "Not gone? Look around you, Sirius. The whole house is destroyed!"

"Alright, listen to what I am about to say because I'm going to possibly say something absolutely profound, and these moments don't exactly happen often for me; it isn't exactly in my character to be witty, profound, etc, etc…" Sirius rambled, and he noted that his attempt to make light of himself during this moment where James seemed to be struggling was not exactly welcomed.

"Right, as I was saying," Sirius stated as he moved to James, "The things you lost here, these tangible things we can hold in our hands… That doesn't make up your life. Your memories don't exist in tiny scraps of paper with moving images. Your childhood isn't measured by OWL results or your first broom. Your life is not inside that box, James. Your mother and father's love is not inside that box."

James looked at his friend and then looked down at his feet.

"Look. Believe me when I say I'm speaking from experience, mate. When I lived at home I was surrounded by all that tangible nonsense – anything my parents could buy they did, and no matter how many wretched family photographs we had taken together – and trust me, there were many wretched family photographs, mostly in extremely gaudy clothing – there was never anything inside that house that resembled anything close to what you had here," Sirius sighed and looked up at the ceiling, once bright and pristine, now cracked as if the whole house had been through some kind of storm.

James let out an exasperated breath, after a while of thinking of what Sirius had just said, and his memory of his father's words.

"You're right," James agreed and flopped back on the couch and brought his hands up to his face, "Holy Hungarian Horntail Sirius, look at you. Who knew you could have these moments of wisdom…"

Sirius gave James a cheesy grin, "Well, I'm not all beauty and no brains, Sir James! I'd like to think of myself as 'the whole package'!"

The two chuckled and for a brief moment, both forgot the reason they were out there in the first place. It was a relief James needed.

* * *

It was a quiet morning at Hogwarts that day. The headmaster had informed students that those who wanted to go to Mr. Potter's funeral to show their respects were allotted the time off class to do so. All of the quidditch team, along with several other students from various houses were dressed in dark dress robes instead of their usual house uniforms, as McGonagall began checking a list of students who would be gone.

Lily, sitting at the Gryffindor table alone and still wearing her uniform, played with her food during breakfast, pushing eggs around her plate with a fork, her head resting on her other hand as she stared blankly in front of her.

"Lily?" said a small voice from behind her. Lily recognized the voice and put down her fork rather loudly. Without turning around, her face crossed into a look of mild anger.

"Go away Severus. I don't want to talk to you," she said, her voice cold as ice.

"Lily, I was just trying to warn you-" started Snape, as he reached out to touch her shoulder.

But Lily turned her head and gave him a look that made him change his mind. It was a look of revulsion, anger and hurt.

"Save it," snapped Lily, piercing daggers into Snape with her emerald eyes, "You weren't trying to warn me, you just wanted to humiliate James-"

"No! That wasn't my intention, well at least not all of it," Snape drawled out, "It wasn't about him, I just wanted us to be friends again, Lily. That's all."

"Friends? FRIENDS?!" Lily stood up, and looked around to make sure there wasn't anyone watching, "You think I want to be friends with you after you pulled a stunt like that? You didn't just humiliate James, Severus, you humiliated ME! And how do I believe you were when you said you had the best intentions when you came flying at that table slinging insults at everyone-"

"But-"

"No, let me finish, Severus. Because this is the last time I intend on talking to you," said Lily solemnly, pulling up her book bag and tossing it around her shoulder, "You have changed. We've had this discussion before, and I remember all too well what happened last time, so I'll make this brief before I'm called a mudblood by you again-"

"Lily-"

"No. We've chosen different paths. Maybe there was some part of me that believed that you still cared about me, but I can't pretend I didn't see that look of … _satisfaction_… that came across your face when you pulled out that Amortentia – when you saw James' face fall. When you felt so good about bringing someone down. I can't pretend I didn't notice how you were like a hungry serpent out for blood… and it scared me Severus. I don't like what you've become. I don't like how you've changed from that sweet boy I once knew into this… this… death eater monster," Lily stated plainly, as if it were fact.

The words penetrated Snape, causing him to shudder. He was losing her, and he wasn't sure there was a way to get her back.

"James is scum for what he had planned for Remus, I won't deny it," said Lily slowly, "But he wouldn't intentionally hurt someone like this… at least, I feel that deep down inside to be true. With you… I just don't know anymore, Severus. I'm sorry."

With a sad look, Lily strode out of the Great Hall, and left a defeated Snape, hunched over the spot at the Gryffindor table she had once been sitting in.

*

Remus was heading down to the Great Hall, dressed in his dark robes and his hair neatly combed, on that somber morning.

Noticing Lily making her way out of the Great Hall, he was a little surprised she was still in uniform.

"Lil? You're in your uniform?" asked Remus, startling Lily as Remus saw she clearly had something else on her mind.

"What? Oh yes… why wouldn't I be in my uniform?" asked Lily absentmindedly, bringing a hand up to her head, trying to soothe an ache that had developed from her previous conversation.

"Aren't you going to the funeral?" asked Remus softly, looking at Lily in confusion.

"Remus… why would I go? James wouldn't want me there, the last time I spoke to him, I told him to go rot," said Lily, "And I still haven't forgiven him for what he had planned, his cruel joke… and why are YOU going, aren't you furious with him?"

Remus chuckled and shrugged, "No, I'm not. James apologized, he realized what he was going to do was wrong. I accepted and forgave him. Everything's okay."

"Okay… okay?" asked Lily dumbfounded, "He was going to use a love potion on me to hurt you! Yes, it's not like a hex, but it's just as bad, if not worse! He could have really done some damage to us, Remus! How could you just let that go?"

"Well… simply because… he didn't," Remus stated matter-of-factly, "Look I know he could have, and he and his friends probably would have gotten a good laugh from everyone's reactions to seeing you snogging James, as back then you two couldn't stand each other… but he didn't. He didn't because he chose not to. That alone makes me think he's not a _complete_ arse."

"You're telling me that you don't think he would have ever used that Amortentia?" asked Lily, crossing her arms and looking at Remus sardonically, "You do, you honestly think that?"

"Doesn't matter if I do," said Remus with a smile, "What matters is if _you _do."

Lily blushed slightly and let her hands drop to her sides. She was about to say something, if she only knew what. Remus was right. She knew James wouldn't do it in the end.

"Look Lily, you don't have to do anything you don't want to or go anywhere you don't feel you should be," said Remus, "And maybe you shouldn't forgive James now, it's your decision. But I would hate to see you do something rash you might regret later. And I know what James is going through – you saw it firsthand when it happened to me."

Remus offered Lily a small smile and walked into the Great Hall. Lily stood in the hallway, torn between her feelings on what was the right thing to do.

* * *

The service for Mr. Potter lasted an hour, as people, friends of the family, James and Sirius recounted their best times with him in front of a sea of faces, all there to say goodbye to a well liked and noble man. Some who had never even met him were there, after the circumstances of his death were made more public in the wizarding community and it was almost common knowledge that death eaters attributed to his early demise.

James was overwhelmed by all the people coming up to him and offering their condolences, as Sirius never once wavered, at his side though all of it. James was surprised to see the headmaster there as well as some of the other teachers, there and outside of Hogwarts, and embraced them all in gratitude.

Throughout it all, as strangers commended James on his fathers' bravery and his Gryffindor quidditch team all came up to give him a reassuring hug and handshake, his eyes wandered every so often to the front of the building where the service was held, namely the entrance, waiting for someone in particular to show up.

"Relax mate, I'm sure she'll be here," said Sirius, noticing his mate's slight anxiousness.

"Who?" asked James pretending not to understand what Sirius was talking about, "What do you mean?"

Sirius shrugged as he noticed James' eyes widen at the newest arrival, and followed his eyes to see Remus walking in. James was slightly crestfallen when he noticed he walked in alone.

"James," said Remus seriously, and offered a hand out to James. James shook it and nodded at Remus.

"Thank you for coming, Remus," said James softly, meaning every word he said.

"Of course. I know what it's like… losing a parent. From what I hear he was quite a man. You're very lucky to have had him in your life," said Remus, with some pain in his voice, as he thought about his own father.

James nodded and Sirius looked at Remus and asked him the question that he knew James wanted to ask, but couldn't muster up the words to do so.

"Is Lily coming, Remus?"

Remus looked at Sirius and then to James, inhaling sharply.

"She told me she didn't want to upset further, as she recalled your last conversation together," said Remus, "She thought that maybe you wouldn't want her here…"

"She doesn't have to be somewhere she doesn't want to be," said James, though hurt was clearly resonating in his voice, "I guess I really did mess it up with her."

Remus and Sirius exchanged looks and neither of them knew what to say.

"Has either one of you seen Pete?" asked James quizzically, trying to change the subject.

"That's a good question," said Sirius, "Come to think of it, I really haven't seen him since… well… the incident in the Great Hall."

"Pettigrew? No I didn't see him this morning either," said Remus. "Isn't he one of your good mates?"

James shrugged and ran his hand through his messy dark hair, "Yeah, I guess, but he's been acting strange lately…"

"Like when he yelled at me for having a light laugh at him," said Sirius furrowing his brow, "I mean, it was all in good fun… when did he get so sensi-"

James interrupted Sirius by inhaling sharply, his eyes widened as they were suddenly glued to the doors marking the entrance.

Nobody could mistake the bright auburn hair, from even so far away, Lily stood out amongst the crowd of people. She looked around and smiled curtly to a few faces she recognized, but her eyes remained searching the crowd.

Sirius smiled and placed a firm grip on James' shoulder, "Looks like you didn't mess things up as badly as you thought, eh?"

"Hey, Sirius, you know where the loo is in here?" asked Remus, giving Sirius a strange look as if to signal to him to let James have a moment alone with Lily.

Sirius, sometimes oblivious to even the least subtle of hints, looked puzzled at Remus' expression, "Yeah, it's over by the entrance, and to the left."

James, whose eyes hadn't moved from Lily, began adjusting his glasses and straightening out his dress robes frantically.

"Maybe you could _show_ me, Sirius," said Remus a little more firmly, "I'd probably get lost and not know where to _go_..."

"Not know where to go?" Sirius chuckled, "Remus, are you daft? How hard it could it be not to understand?"

Remus brought a palm to his face and mumbled under his breath, "Ughh, you have no idea…" Without haste as Lily finally found James and approached him, Remus grabbed Sirius' arm and started to lead an utterly confused Sirius away from the two.

"Lily…" James said in a near whisper.

"Pott-…James," Lily began, softening her expression.

The two of them just stood for a while in silence, staring at one another, and it seemed like everyone else in the room just disappeared. It was a time where James forgot why he was even there, and everything seemed to be all right in the world.

"Lily, I'm so-"

Lily hushed James by placing a hand to his mouth, and just looked into his hazel eyes, as James looked like he was fighting back tears. She stepped forward and embraced him, and all the anger and past words they'd had with each other seemed to disappear, at least for the time being. Lily and James knew that at this moment, none of that mattered.

Neither one said another word to each other, but words weren't necessary. They just held each other, and that was all either one of them really needed.

* * *

**A/N:** It's been a long long long time since an update! But, seeing as I finally had some time to get back to this, I intend on finishing what I started! Thanks for reading :)


	23. Chapter 23: Fear & Power, Power & Fear

**Chapter 23: Fear & Power, Power & Fear**

**

* * *

**

"So… you think he's dead?" whispered a voice.

"Naw… though it would explain the smell," snickered another voice.

"I'm pretty sure that smell is coming _just_ from his feet…"

"Gah, he smells worse than Potter after quidditch… and you _know_ how bad Potter smells after quidditch…"

The voices of three Gryffindor boys surrounded the bed of Peter Pettigrew, as he lay on it, sprawled across the sheets in the most undignified fashion. There was a slight wetness near his pillow, clearly the result of accumulating drool.

"Okay… so who's going to wake him?" asked one of the boys, and all three gave each other weary looks, not wanting to volunteer.

Finally after much debate, one of them began prodding Peter's cheek, until one of the jabs was done with such force, Peter's eyes sprang open and he let out a yelp of pain.

"What the bloody hell!" Peter said as he whipped upright, his hand flying to his cheek as he took in his surroundings.

"Sorry there!" said the boy who prodded him. It was a 6th year Gryffindor prefect that Peter vaguely recognized from his meetings and what appeared to be his two friends behind him, that were trying to control their fits of laughter.

"McGonagall told me to go find you as we can't start the prefect meeting without you," replied the boy, "And seeing as your fellow dorm mates aren't here, I was given the _lovely_ task of coming up here and waking you up."

There was a clear annoyance in his voice, and it surprised Peter. Usually 5th years looked up, and were sometimes even frightened of 7th years, especially those who were prefects. In just the beginning of the year, the power alone of being prefect garnered him respect from many students who would give him a passing smile or nod as he patrolled the hallways, and now, it seemed like everything was changing.

* * *

_"McKinley! I know it was you who set off that dungbomb in that 3rd year's bookbag. That's 5 points from Gryffindor!" shouted Peter down the hall to a 4th year - who had looked like he'd just seen a ghost, "And I'll be sure to let the caretaker know what you've done! Not to mention Professor McGonagall!"_

_Peter was walking down the halls from his 6th year defense class with James and Sirius in tow, both of who were exchanging looks with one another and smirking._

_"Nice threat Pete," said Sirius chuckling, "But don't you think that's a bit harsh for a dungbomb?"_

_"Yeah mate, you know we've done worse than a dungbomb in a bookbag…" said James, "Like that pudding fight we started in the Great Hall!"_

_"We? Sorry Jamie, that was all you," said Sirius slapping James on the back, "Seeing as the one and only victim of that spoonful of pudding was the back of Remus Lupin's head."_

_"Ahh yes, you're right," said James with a half grin, "Good times."_

_Peter shook his head and sighed, "If I start letting one go, then they'll think I've gone soft. I have to maintain some kind of authority here guys!"_

_Sirius gave Peter a mock nod, "Oh yes. Everyone's got to be afraid of the big bad prefect Pettigrew. Oh please, you're about as threatening as a mouse."_

_Peter scoffed and stopped in his tracks, "Perhaps to you two I might come off as tame as a furry little creature, but to others, I'm as fierce as the lion emblazoned on our house banner!"_

_Sirius raised his eyebrows at Peter while James tried to cover a fit of giggles about to come out._

_"You don't believe me?" asked Peter confidently, "Well, watch this."_

_Sirius and James watched as Peter walked up to a pair of 4th year Hufflepuff students, a boy and girl chatting by a staircase. Peter cleared his throat, causing both of the students to jump and look at him._

_"Y...yes?" asked the boy nervously, looking at Peter who stood in a menacing manner, his hands firmly placed at his hips._

_"Tell me, are you new here?" asked Peter coolly, as the boy turned a puzzled look to him._

_"Ahh… no… I'm not new…" he replied slowly._

_"Oh really? So you didn't just start classes yesterday?" asked Peter, an icy tone to his voice, "You've been here a while, have you?"_

_"We…well… yes… I'm a 2nd year," he spat out, the girl beside him looking between Peter and her friend just as nervously._

_"2nd year. So that means you've had 2 years to know what the proper dress code is here, am I correct to assume that?" asked Peter, sticking his nose up in the air._

_"D…dress code? Well, yes. I mean, I'm wearing my uniform," said the Hufflepuff, "Is there something w-wrong?"_

_Peter glared at the boy, causing his eyes to widen and step back a little, "Your tie. Is there a reason it looks like you just wrapped it around your neck a few times and have not properly knotted it?"_

_The boy looked down at his tie, and tried to cover it up with his hands, "Oh… I'm sorry! I didn't realize it looked like this… I was in a hurry this morning you see, and-"_

_"Save it!" said Peter raising a hand, "You should really know better. I don't know what to do with such insubordinance… this seems like something the head of your house should deal with…"_

_Peter squinted at the boy, and from behind him he could hear Sirius and James snicker wildly._

_"Please… please don't get me into trouble… I'll… I'll do anything you want," said the boy, "I… my mother sends me really good fudge once a month by owl when she visits my Grin. You can have the whole box, please just don't get me into trouble!"_

_Peter dramatically placed his hand to his chin and pretended to think about it for a while._

_"Well. Alright. I suppose I could let it slide this one time," said Peter conclusively, causing the boy to exhale deeply in relief._

_"I'll be keeping my eye out for that fudge," said Peter, "Now run along before I change my mind!"_

_The boy nodded and scampered off with his friend, who seemed much braver as she gave Peter a dirty look before departing._

_Peter turned to his friends and walked over to them triumphantly._

_"There. You see. Clearly I can make someone tremble in fear," said Peter jovially, "I nearly made him wee his pants!"_

_"You nearly made a 2nd year wee his pants over a tie…" said Sirius, "I think that kid's the biggest baby I've ever seen…"_

_"Yeah, I can see why he's not a Gryffindor, that one's got no stones," agreed James_

_"Pshh. You're just jealous that I can get them to bow down before me and offer me fudge!" said Peter._

_"Yes. You literally took candy from a baby. How menacing," joked Sirius._

_"Well, I was going to share it, but seeing as you're being a prat about it…" Peter's voice trailed off as they made their way to the library. As James and Sirius protested and tried to plead for him to share what sounded like extremely delicious fudge, Peter couldn't help but feel slightly bemused over the moment he now deemed as a personal victory._

* * *

Yes, things had changed. And it not only bothered Peter - it scared him.

After getting ready in a record 2 minutes, Peter hurried down to the DADA classroom that held their monthly prefect meetings.

Out of breath, Peter burst into the room full of students already waiting impatiently for the meeting to start, his loud entrance causing all their eyes to land on him.

"Sorry," Peter mumbled and took a seat next to Lily, who looked at him with worry more than distaste, like their fellow prefects.

"So good of you to finally join us, Mr. Pettigrew," said McGonagall perturbed, "If you feel waking up before 9AM on a Saturday once a month too daunting of a task to handle, please inform me and I shall relieve you of your prefect duties."

"No, sorry Professor, I can handle it," murmured Peter red-faced as some of the other students giggled, causing Peter to sink into his seat.

As McGonagall went on with the meeting, going over the usual rules and addressing a few new topics, Peter dazed out and stared blankly at the 6th year Hufflepuff's back in front of him.

"Peter? Are you okay?" whispered Lily softly, startling Peter slightly.

"I'm fine," replied Peter slowly, "Why? Is something wrong?"

Lily looked at McGonagall, and once she knew the Professor was distracted enough, she continued with Peter, "Well, it's just you've been rather jumpy lately… and, I don't exactly know how to say this… but… your appearance is… different…"

"My appearance? What are you getting at?" asked Peter, feeling minorly insulted.

"Oh please don't take this the wrong way," said Lily, "It's just that you look sort of ill. I'm just worried for you is all."

"Oh. Well. I'm fine," Peter said once again, and turned to face McGonagall, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm already skating on thin ice with Professor McG, and I'd rather like to keep my badge."

_It's all I have left_, thought Peter as he focused his attention on the lecture which had turned into a debate between a 6th year Slytherin and a 5th year Ravenclaw on whether or not taking away points during quidditch games should be allowed.

After the prefects meeting, Peter couldn't wait to leave that stuffy room. As much as he tried paying attention in the last 20 minutes, his mind couldn't help but drift onto the thoughts of him recently becoming one of Voldemort's spies. Part of thought he would regret his decision, but then another part of him craved for the power he once had before. He thought if he could prove himself to be useful – to be important and not some blubbering idiot people thought he was turning into these days – that maybe Voldemort would make him his right hand man, and could share in the glory of his power when he overtook the wizarding world.

He would be revered. He would be bowed down before. And most importantly, he wouldn't be alone. His fears of dying a painful and long suffering death, alone in some corner where no one could find him was what drove him to his decisions. Fear drives a lot of people to do things, and Peter Pettigrew was no exception.

Peter was nearly going mad, he needed someone to talk to. And that someone just happened to be in the library, sitting at a small table near the restricted section.

"Ah, I've found you, finally!" said Peter, pulling out a chair and plopping himself across from Regulus Black. Regulus, who was irritated by the interruption, eyed Peter suspiciously.

"What on earth are you talking about, Pettigrew," Regulus spat, "Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?"

"Yes but it'll have to wait. I'm going to explode if I can't talk to someone about Voldemort!" said Peter.

Regulus' eyes widened as he shushed Peter, standing up and looking around to see if anyone nearby could hear them.

"Don't worry, no one's around, I checked," said Peter, "Anyway, I really need to talk about this, it's been on my mind for ages, I can't seem to sleep properly anymore…"

"Just, stop," said Regulus slamming his book down, "Look, I don't know who you think I am, but I'm not one of your stupid friends that give a dementor's bony backside about your problems."

Regulus leaned in closer in a precaution not to be overheard, "And as far as the Dark Lord goes, there's nothing to talk about! If he found out that you were going around blabbing about your loyalties to him, he would have both our hides, you pudgy idiot!"

Peter slunk back into his chair his mouth agape, "What is it with your family and the comments about my weight! Not everyone was born into a family like yours with perfect bone structure!"

"For once my blood traitor brother and I agree one something," sarcastically replied Regulus, rolling his eyes, "Now. Get out of my line of vision before I hex a snout and curly tail on you."

Peter narrowed his eyes and stood up slowly, "You know, I'm not afraid of you Regulus. One day, you'll be very sorry for things you've said."

"You have no idea," whispered Regulus to himself as he took a deep breath and went back to his book as Peter stormed off, cheeks flushed and stomping his feet much like a child who was having a tantrum, disappearing out of the library.

* * *

Lily noticed how strange Peter looked, and his exit from the prefect meeting was another tell tale sign that something was amiss. But she shrugged it off as Remus waited for her at the door of the DADA classroom, with a smile on his face.

"So, what did you think about that meeting?" asked Remus happily, walking with Lily down to the Great Hall.

"I'm just glad you were there, Remus," said Lily smiling, giving him a quick squeeze, "It's great that you're back to where you're supposed to be. But how did it happen, I'm curious?"

Remus shook his head and shrugged, "I don't know, actually. All I know is that Professor Flitwick told me someone had talked to the headmaster about reinstating me and he or she must have been so convincing that he changed his mind!"

"Wow! That's brilliant, Remus!" Lily replied, "But who on earth could that person be?"

Remus smiled at Lily as they entered the hall and sat down at the Ravenclaw table for lunch, "Well, to be honest, I thought it might have been you."

"Not to say that I wouldn't have done such a thing for you, cause I would have had I not been so self absorbed these last weeks," Lily said, feeling a tad guilty, "I didn't do it."

"Hmm. Well, there goes that theory," said Remus laughing, "I guess I really don't know then."

"Whoever they are, they must really think you're a great guy," said Lily, "And I can't blame them! I've been one of your biggest fans since I've known you."

Remus blushed a tiny bit and Lily let out a small giggle as she grabbed a plate of food.

"So any news on how James is doing?" asked Remus casually, taking a bite out of a biscuit.

A somber look passed on Lily's face at the mention of James and she shook her head.

"I haven't heard from him since the funeral. I sent him an owl last night to see how he'd been doing, hopefully he'll write back. I think he comes back in a few days," replied Lily slowly. It was still fairly awkward talking about James in front of Remus, and Remus could pick up on the uneasiness.

"Right… I think Sirius comes back today, actually…" replied Remus, trying to move on another subject.

"Oh. Right," replied Lily, slight bitterness in her voice, "Good."

Remus cocked an eyebrow and smiled at Lily, "Still angry at him I presume?"

"He's a git, Remus," said Lily, "James too yes, for planning that stupid prank, but I know Sirius had something to do with it… the reputation those two have for wreaking havoc..."

"He's really not all that bad, Lils," said Remus, "I think I'm warming up to him, actually."

Lily laughed, "Wow, you must have gone mad or something… I don't see any redeeming qualities in him, I'm sorry to say."

"You didn't in James either and now look," replied Remus with a smirk, "Perhaps we're all a little mad, now, hmm?"

Lily elbowed Remus playfully and rolled her eyes as the two finished off their lunch laughing and joking like old times, and as if nothing had changed between them.

* * *

**A/N: **This chapter is kind of short and I apologize for that, but I didn't want to bring too many different POVs into it right away, so decided to keep it so! Thanks for the reviews! It's great to see you all still care about the story after such a long time has passed! :) I really appreciate it! More to come soon! (Writing it as we speak!)


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